WFH day. Met w/HR consultant at The Great Bear. Nice to visit their once in awhile, such memories. Sent a couple pics to MKC. Good conversation w/Donna. Sprint end = lots of work activity. Kids working at "Mary Poppins" play (tech roles) at Alta Vista Today/Tomorrow/Saturday. I had a good day staying focused, not wasting too much time, took a 1mile walk, watched a couple of 'time management for life' TedTalks. Inspirational. I'm working to completely eliminate any activity that's about 'killing' time in any way. Such a waste. Hell, even if I'm just 'being in the moment' and doing absolutely nothing, it's better than web or channel surfing via impulse, falling into the rabbit hole of clickbait. I'm glad this 'consciously living' stuff is become more important to me. I hope to model it to the kids too. I got them at 9, brought 'em home, both were in good moods, positive, grateful, reasonably polite too.

Accomplishments: Meditation Movement Mindfulness WorkFocus Parenting Cleanup

Took the day off because kids were out of school for the day. Took them to Facebook to meet up w/Brian, do VR demo for 1.5hrs, have lunch, tour the campus. It was great. Returned them to Pano, spent the afternoon trying out other VR stuff at home. Brian stopped by for a drink and discussed 2019 goals and individual plans. Really enjoyed the day. Lucky to have the friends and family I have.


Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

I'm grateful to have started mediating on a regular basis, via the Calm App, so on a day like today, i can start the day with a reminder that not every 'practice' is perfect. That we can lose focus, presence, intention and mindfulness at any time. That when we do, we have to learn from the experience, let it go, and keep trying. That sort of start to my day makes accepting that the day was a pretty much throw-away day of accomplishing absolutely nothing at all… less upsetting. And that's nice. At least i managed meditation. And stretching, yeah, there was that too. Oh, and dishes. But work and presence and mindfulness… nada.



I'll try again tomorrow.



Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Cleanup

Dropped Lauren on time, returned to meditate, stretch, and worked until traffic died down. Onsite meetings 11-3pm, relatively long for me, and a 60+min return trip. Traffic is awful around here. Tommy's staying at his mom's again, sounds like he's legit not feeling well. Hoping he 's better in the AM. I'll likely go work from Starbucks and check on him w/a call and offer to drop him at school. I'm grateful that I'm feeling at least 80% successful in the continued effort to be focused daily on the core key needs for 2019: restoring balance, not taking on too much, keeping the house/health/mind in order. I really did not need the ice cream though, but I didn't go too crazy either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I want to insure I get a good 1+ mile walk in tomorrow.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness WorkFocus Parenting Cleanup

Got the kids this AM and we just lingered about. Tommy flew his drone and visited friends near Alta Vista twice while Lauren and I got food or puttered around. Tommy wanted to stay home because he had an upset stomach. I said OK this time but won't always. Went on a hike @ Quicksilver nearby. Got Costco grub for Lauren and Tommy (an entire combo pizza so he has leftovers available) and dropped Tommy's stuff to him. I'm glad it was a low-key day. Lauren was a delight, I love her animated nature. They're becoming even more independent, and I think I have to start mentally preparing to fade from each of their lives in a significant fashion, over the next year or two.

Accomplishments: Stretching, Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Back issues last night were bad enough to warrant moving to try Lauren's room, the mattress of which is super firm. Immediate relief and first decent sleep in a week. So, returning tonight/tomorrow until she's back and I may end up swapping with her. TBD. Work was good, it was engaging and I still feel positive about the effort to be onsite and to foster team building and connection via the weekly lunch gathering. Saw kids briefly, they're back from WaldenWest and going right into Alta Vista Play Staff tasks. Sunday w/be a Monterey trip, hopefully. Steve/Diana/Matt came over for drinks/nosh and we played some games. Pleasant gathering. Low key and simple. Like me :-). I'm going to continue my meditation and stretching which has been going great as well.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Mindfulness WorkFocus Cleanup

WFH day. Engagement was OK but still room for improvement. Ran lunch errands to drop recycling, get some home supplies at Target, and worked from Crema for awhile too. Finally got into Art Boutiki and got some nostalgic buttons. They do music there and I might want to check out upcoming events. Fasted until 6. Made a breakfast Strada for forthcoming mornings. I'm grateful that I know and like to cook, and it's fun to do so and contribute to the house food options. Kids return from Walden tomorrow and i'll likely drop by after work. Steve/Diana/Matt/Lyn to come by tomorrow for some nosh/grazing. Should be fun. Back issues returned in the latter 1/2 of the day. hoping i'll get a decent sleep I need it.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Mindfulness Cleanup

Learning To Be Here Right Now

I continue to try to focus on only a few key tasks for the year ahead. Daily. And it’s hard to maintain sometimes. There’s always something pulling me off the path, and sometimes it’s my obsession over trivial things that end up doing so. I’m dedicated to finding the right balance. On days like today, when I feel like I might not have been as focused as I could have on work or on my ‘focal point’ of personal priorities, I need to keep my perspective.

Nice to have a clean car again, I'm glad I took it in yesterday. RWC onsite AM. Good to be there, got a positive comment from MM about doing so. 1+ mile walk in around Electronic Arts. WFH PM was ok but fragmented. I want to improve my keeping focused and not being distracted. It's been cold these days and I am grateful that I'm in a position to afford to provide shelter and warmth for myself and my kids. Talked briefly with Jeff Schwartz and will follow up w/a lunch next week. Like Jack and many others, it's hard to stay as connected with all that we have in our respective lives, but I'm glad we manage what we can. Fasted through until dinner. Will fast tomorrow again, it's a great way to kickstart getting into ketosis. Back issue continue but are improving. Sticking with standing and daily stretch routines.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Movement Mindfulness WorkFocus Cleanup

I'm adding daily stretching routine into my days to help reduce back pain issues of late. 3x routines throughout the day. I also stood for most of the day, working at the tall black table. Fasted for the day. Drank lots of water. Working to limit what else I "take on" before I overcommit. Balance and focus are key. I'm really glad I renewed my Calm membership, it's become a source for all sorts of valuable inspiration: the meditations, the stretching, masterclasses, and more. I want to work next on improving sleep depth and duration, but the back issues take priority right now.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Mindfulness WorkFocus Cleanup

Wonderful morning with the kids. Packed up for WaldenWest, Hiked "The Dish", Got lunch at "The Melt" in PA before dropping them off to start their week of camping. Blogged about it. I'm going to try to write less here if means I might write more elsewhere. I'm grateful to have enable my kids having this experience. I want to focus this week on the time I have for other needs or interests. I also must elevate stretching to a 3x/day routine - My back pain is "back" in full force, and it's excruciating.

Accomplishments: Movement Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Lessons Learned : Model Behavior

I dropped the kids at Walden West today, a science camp for middle-school in Saratoga, where they'll be 'cabin leaders' for the next 4 days. They attended Walden West a couple of years back and, well, that's a whole different blog post for another time. So they're off for a full week on what I am certain will be a lifetime memory.

How can it not? "Science Camp Leader"? Are you kidding me? That's the stuff lives are punctuated by. This is an experience combining independence and authority. This is pivotal for each of them. This is a core moment of the "Coming of age" experience. It's what films get made about, like "Stand By Me", "Goonies", "Stranger Things" even. But not "American Pie"...., you can drop that camp reference right here and now.

12am helicopter activity nearby kept me up late. Did well with my initial efforts to ignore as a mindfulness exercise, but I caved to interest and intrigue. App'd the local PD stream to follow along as my tax dollars were used to chase some 15yr old out of a tree over a joule cigarette theft. Actually, i am grateful that we have law enforcement available and engaged. But I feel sad that it's needed at all. Coordinated and executed the sale of Tommy's bike to pay for the repair of his drone. Dropped bike in San Mateo en route to get drone in Daly City. Happy to have that all done. Scored some great deals for kids at Savers. Panini's for dinner using new grill.

Didn't sleep well, so 5am rise was difficult. Got out the door though. Lauren passed on boarding so the day was Tommy's. Did some writing, listened to music, walked and talked w/Lauren. It was a pleasant day but a long drive up/back. They're with their mom tonight and back w/me tomorrow while she goes to see her brother Jay in Roseville. I'm glad to have had some 1:1 with Lauren and she's such a loving daughter. I was also surprise and grateful that Tommy was considerate enough to (finally) ensure the car was cleared of trash/crap when we got back. That was a pleasant surprise. And I think he's burnt out for a bit on the snowboarding too. TBD. Finished the Sacred Cow book and really enjoyed it. Returning to "Before I Go" next.

Accomplishments: Movement Mindfulness Parenting

Parked at the very top of the garage to change it up. Applied some meditation principles to the on-site interview... I didn't stress and let myself get anxious about maintaining a pace or cadence. I just rolled with the nature of the informal dialogue. I'm pleased with how it worked out and I got positive feedback from a team member who felt the same. Enjoyed the lunch with the team and continue to work on human connection with peers that I otherwise set aside. I'm so glad I didn't rush out the door. I took time to engage and talk and I have a deep appreciation for the people I connect with. It was great. Kids are with me tonight. Marioni's came over and we had tacos. Got into an awesome dialog w/Wendy about society, rights, justice… totally up my alley. To be continued. Dodge Ridge tomorrow. Early AM departure. I expect to see some spectacular snow coverage and hopefully cleared roads too.


Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness WorkFocus Cleanup

WFH day. Nothing eventful. Took a walk at lunch to library and back to renew my card so "libby" app would let me check out content again. Finished the "4 pillars" course on Calm. Loved it, want to listen again right away to reinforce. Kids were supposed to be w/me but plans changed and I rolled with it. Also learned today that the storm damaged the fence at Panorama so I'm going to work with the insurance on that. I am grateful that the focus of 2019 seems to be paying off and being validated by the choices of things I spend time on. Tomorrow we have a dev candidate onsite interview so I'll be heading up early.

Accomplishments: Meditation Movement Mindfulness Cleanup

Productive work day. Listened to "The 4 Pillars of Health" on Calm and found it inspirational. When my AppleWatch told me it was time to stand, I walked about the office and connected with some of the coworkers and colleagues. I took a walk, but since it was raining I simply went into the parking garage and walked a mile by circling upward, and then back down, within the five-story parking garage. That you felt great. Especially walking slowly up the middle of the ramp to the top level in a light drizzle. It was 'cinematic'. I'm going to put the Calm app on my kids phones, because there is kid related content that I screened and found engaging. I found a very reasonable option on craigslist for a freezer replacement that was delivered this afternoon. Very heavy rains today and tomorrow, so it's time to listen to "Concerto for a Rainy Day". Finished strong on work focus, enjoyed 1:1 time with Jen, watching a bit of Hitchcock, and getting lost for a short while in some awesome music videos. It's magic.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Mindfulness WorkFocus Cleanup

WFH day - somewhat frustrated by the onslaught of "P1" needs and the disruption to the sprint, but i took an early break and ran out/grabbed a needed lampshade as a stress relief. Weird, I know. Sorta 'dialed it in' a bit throughout the day due to the irritation about the chaos of the business demands. Met with Susan A. to reconnect and discuss some kids related concerns. Had a good evening w/the geeks at Rock Bottom ('blood orange' beer). Ending the evening w/headphones and an FLAC encoded playback of "It's Late" and "Dead on Time" after being reminded tonight how I don't listen to music as much as I used to. I am grateful to have such an emotional attachment to the sound of music and the memories of putting on headphones and reading liner notes…. "Thunder courtesy of God". Loved it then, love it now.

Quite a long day. Kids here last night and tonight. Went into RWC. Good day onsite. Took kids to TJ's and the Mall. Grateful to have them, and mindful of balancing my inner irritations with what I know is Tommy's good heart and nature are, so the surface irritations are less impactful. I setup an appointment w/Kathy Bates tomorrow. Listened to night to calm "Mindful Eating" class – so good.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness WorkFocus Parenting Cleanup

Relaxing AM. Manresa Bread w/Jen for Verve coffee. Came across and bought a book about vintage San Jose signs and it makes me want to scan and publish the old menus I have. It's a bit of an undertaking though. We took my mom to Mesa Luna for dinner. It was a nice time and we all enjoyed it. I am grateful to live where we live and all the nature and options so close by, and the clear evening sky was stunning on the drive home.

Midnight In The Garden

I came across an interesting book this week, about "Sacred Cows", and a point the author made in a podcast interview resonated deeply. It’s something I’ve been mindful of and have struggled with for decades. It has literally kept me up at night, on more than one occasion. It's best expressed in a single line from a song on Don Henley’s "I Can't Stand Still" album titled “Long Way Home”, a lyric I’ve referenced before in another post… "There's three sides to every story, baby, there's yours and there’s mine and the cold hard truth.”

Good day at work, Back-a-yard BBQ lunch was excellent. Kids are with mom until Sunday. Enjoyed a glass of wine and some Family Guy. Did some writing too. Continues to feel good to be going to the office and connecting with the team. I'm glad to have the drive time too, as it's a change to listen to a backlog of audiobook that have built up, and that really help me keep a focus on my own growth and education efforts.

Dropped Lauren off, and Tommy's need to get something from home triggered a conflict between he and his mom after she played the 'don't go in the house' card yet again. I didn't get triggered and pulled into the dynamic. It's a frustrating situation and i'm going to just not do it any more. It's best that they learn the natural consequences of forgetting things vs the issues that arise when we have to juggle a stop at their moms en route. 'nuff said. I'm exited to be going into work tomorrow, i'm enjoying spending more time at the office this year, I felt too removed and this feels like a good balance to maintain 3 days onsite/2 days WFH. I got some banking stuff lined up for support related transfers next week, and a few other to do tasks too. Off now to read a bit before bed.

Early morning drop of Lauren then prep 'n roll out the door for full day of onsite meetings. Karl by my side = a nice smooth drive. Listened to a few podcasts. Kids with me tonight. I missed meditation the past couple days and want to ensure I do some tomorrow am, and perhaps one before bed tonight. I've avoided getting into politics and news but did watch the Trump/Wall address and I struggled to comprehend what I later read (comments) online - actual facts from legitimate sources seems to be completely irrelevant to far too many people who are polarized for the sake of 'taking a stand', regardless of truth. It's stunning. Idocracy is proving to be a documentary. Ugh. On the positive side, I learned from Art that Tommy's involvement in the whole "iPhone lockout" at scouts was 2% to Theo's 98%, which feels good to hear. I am really proud of what a good kid he is. Sometimes so much so, I wonder where he got it. Her too. I'm grateful they're both good hearted fun-loving and grounded people.

Second Harvest Food Sort was great fun but attendance was low. Still, great fun as was 'the office' after for drinks and appetizers. Made dinner, kids came, took Tommy to scouts and grabbed groceries w/Lauren. Dropped her at Matson while I went to get Tommy and meet w/Troop Leader to address some issues related to a prank he was involved with. He was receptive to the fact that it was something to not do again and I'm optimistic that his character is such that he'll step up to setting a better example to others. He stayed w/his mom tonight after a fight earlier and feeling bad about it. Lauren's with me.

WFH day, off-cycle since I'll be at the team "Second Harvest Food Sort" Tomorrow afternoon and then a team gathering at "The Office" in RWC. I took a lunch break during a break in the rain and walked to/from Starbucks for another 2+ mile effort. Felt good. Work was consuming and got a few to-do's knocked out. Low key evening, reading some "Personal Excellence" PDFs for inspiration. As for gratitude, I was saddened to walk past a car today who's window had been smashed out and it really dishearten's me that we have such a lack of moral ethics in our world. But later on my walk I saw a lawn-sign that was a positive statement about positive beliefs that made me feel a bit better. I'm glad I've not been the victim of a serious theft or other offense in my life. So far.

Dropped Lauren off after a nice AM lingering at Matson. Hung at Peets, read NYT, then enjoyed a leisurely spent day just continuing down 'to do' list tasks, enjoying the rain outside and a bit of Laphroaig inside. Linda took Tommy and Lauren to MBA for TCL intro meeting and I am impressed she did so in such shitty rain/weather. I wrote and expressed my appreciation. I'd have done it had she asked. Later on I messed around a bit with the Oculus Go. Warming up to some of the things I find but livid about some of the fails in user experience. I am so grateful to the access to such incredible technology and it's such a privilege. I recognize it's relative infancy in relation to what's now standard for desktop and mobile devices. I need to curtail my irritation as the lack of perfection in something so new. Perspective and relevance come into play. Speaking of which, got a true 'cold shoulder' at Pano during a handoff and really don't know what more I can do to restore some sense of civility, but I'll continue to be as open to the opportunity as I'd like returned and at least I won't be the reason it's never achieved.

Made a conscious effort today to avoid screens as much as possible. Beyond a google search for Garbage Disposal triaging, checking movies times and a brief email review, I did great at de-teching for the full day. Felt refreshing to not 'zone' but instead, work on priorities including shampoo'ing carpets, organizing garage, and taking a great 2+mile walk in the rain w/Lauren and Jennifer before getting Happy Hound and returning to home. Ended the day with "A Quiet Place". Tommy had returned to his mom's earlier, so Lauren's 1:1 tonight.

A good day at work. Good retrospective, good planning, nice lunch w/most folks in the conf room. And a really positive and sincere compliment of my management from a direct report. I worked in a morning meditation AND a stretching too. Didn't get the 1mile walk in though, and should have. Going to need to prioritize that more. I'm looking forward to a rainy casual day w/the kids tomorrow. No clue what we'll do, but we'll play it by ear. Sticking to my plans about a very lean Q1 until I have a better sense of what the financials are going to be like in this new model.

Although I had every intention of walking, I didn't leave the house all day. I got sucked into work and a creeping malaise. I also ran some initial numbers and my tax situation is gonna be awful. As bad as I'd originally feared. Kids and I made a Costco run for some supplies but I'm going to be on the tightest budget of my life for 2019. I did get a mediation in, but the rest of the day I felt disconnected and lethargic. I"m hoping tomorrow will be a good work day and I'll try there to get out/about. Rainy weekend ahead means keeping things simple too, which I need. I sorta want to take a full week off alone to go and unplug without internet, and just write. I don't think I can do that for awhile, but I might try to carve out a day a week. Anyway, off to pickup house and listen to something uplifting and motivating.

Good day of presence onsite in RWC even with limited onsite of others during this fractured week. Carpooled w/Jen up/back, it was nice. Got a good walk in and I was thinking about the sense of sight, sound and smell, and how it all comes together in multiple dimensions as we experience it. Listened to an excellent "Actualized.org" about self-inquiry that is/was tripping me out a bit. It resonates. I also realized that I'd like to talk less and think more when I'm with others… I think I 'blab' and repeat myself.

A Seeker Of Wisdom And Truth

As the new year begins, although I'm typically not a fan of 'new years' resolutions because I believe the day you decide you want to make a change is always the day to start doing so, I do want to leverage this implied 'start date' to put more time and even more emphasis on living a more rewarding life. I have already been working during the past year on several key changes that have become routine habits. I feel they're helping a great deal. Mindfulness, gratitude journaling, routine daily upkeep at home, filling my precious free time with purpose and intention instead of just 'killing' that time with idle distractions, and not taking on more than I can reasonably expect to accomplish. These have all been steps in the right direction.

New Years Day: Kids were dropped off at around 11am and we've pretty much just lingered about the house sans a couple brief errands. Nothing much to say. I did kick off the day with a 1+ mile walk and a 2nd one later w/L and J. I also started taking action on a few 'I keep meaning too…' tasks and I'm feeling inspired by some Calm Masterclasses and other online resources to stop wasting time on things that don't get me where I want to be. I even pushed back on Tommy's proposal to go see a movie at his expense because I just wasn't in the mood to go, and that's ok. Tomorrow I return to work after the long break.