What Can't Be Said

What can’t be said, because it won’t be heard, is that the only person who isn't handling this well, is her. Which in turn is making it far more difficult for everybody, including myself, the children and her. She and they need to put this in perspective and move forward in a positive fashion. It's been three years and more! The kids are fine with this, and she could be too. She may not realize it but she is dramatically contributing to a huge portion of their struggles. She has and will continue with this. And both kids have called it out.

Coming Clean About The Mess

This is the environment I was forced to live in. I continually asked to be allowed to clean but was told I could not because I would not know what was of value. When I did take the initiative to do so I was berated for having moved anything and reminded that I could not make a decision about what was important or not. When I had an actual "collapse to the ground sobbing" breakdown I was assured it would change and it never did. It was continually dismissed as being something she 'hated as much as me" yet I'd still end up having to climb into a bed piled with things and struggle to find a way to sleep underneath them.

I've kept this to myself for far too long.

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