Highlights: Morning meditation at Jikoji: Michael, Pamela & Gerow. A good Friday meeting included a chance to step more into a board role of authority in a discussion with two of the three. Dokusan with Mike between the two proved powerful and aligning with the upcoming Jukai. YMCA with Jen doing the 'circuit' 2x. Halloween @ Christie/Marc's with a few familiar faces. Tommy giving out candy was rewarding to witness.

⚖️183.6(0) ❤️65(62-122) 👣 3,725/1.7mi (🧘‍♂️ 🏋️‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️)

Passing Thought: Snap Back Off

A wise man avoids petting a dog that bites without reason.

Highlights: Scottie was up and having what seemed to be another seizure last night. Jen stayed up with him until he settled down. Howes Your Coffee required an early exit with little sleep into a very dark misty morning. Wendy inserted herself into the set and Tommy joined us as well. It pretty much killed my morning. He made a smart ass comment to me that something I said that was irrelevant when it completely was. He's completely dismissive of anything I say, and I don't want him there. Wendy dominates things and we can't enjoy ourselves as we have been all this time. I consider Mark my brother from another mother, I always enjoy our banter, stories and the depth of discussions around family, history and aging… but this morning I realized it was time to take a break. This show has jumped the shark. Later this morning I visited Martin and we talked for almost 2 hours about all sorts of things. It was great to visit and catch up and to have such a long history, going back to '72. Virtual GNO capped the evening, lots of deep dives into tech and ongoings, another group I'm so grateful to be a part of.

Insights: I struggle to keep up with the degree of things that happen each day. There's so much subtle details that take so much time to capture and convey, that before I can begin to do so, there's yet-another incident worth noting to take it's place. I'm backlogged with ideas and incomplete drafts. I suppose, no, I know I should be and am very fortunate to have so many noteworthy moments. At least noteworthy to me. It's my life, so it should be.

⚖️183.6(+0.8) ❤️63(60-121) 👣 8,349/3.8mi (🏃‍♂️)

Highlights: my morning included a chunk of time roasting coffee with what I anticipate will prove to be an improved result. Which would be saying a lot considering how satisfied I have been so far. Tomorrow will be a chance to see. I had arranged for, through a utilities program, to have our home audited for energy efficiency. A guy came today and did a slew of things. I could not believe the amount of energy he had and the speed at which he went through our house. I am stunned and grateful to have been afforded this opportunity. Not only did he install a new "Ecobee" smart thermostat, a significant upgrade from our prior one, but he also replaced LED bulbs throughout the house with surplus. He removed and replaced the door seals around the garage, front and back doors. He triaged and weather-sealed the air ducts and wall openings around pipe fittings beneath the sinks. He even put insulation behind wall outlets and light switches. He spent about two hours total. He also helped triage the furnace, which had not been working when it was fired up last week after the summer. It's working now. It's pretty incredible. One of the ways my time gets sucked up is by getting absorbed in the ongoing act of continuous engineering, everything and anything around the house. Now that we have a new thermostat, I had to spend some time removing the old one and installing the replacement, while also ensuring all the automations accounted for the replacement. Part of my morning routine is to avoid picking up the phone, yet a good deal of the things I do regularly, including the online meditation sit, involve the phone. As well as listening to podcasts and meditations. Today, I set about enabling all of this to take place on my watch, not my phone. I'm still working on it. I'm not sure it's an optimal use of my time or that it will have a high ROI. Still, I'd like to avoid having a device within reach when I'm working on focusing my mind on not thinking about anything, and everything I need to do, as soon as I stop thinking of nothing. In that case, Then I might actually be successful at thinking about nothing. All of this takes significant time away from finishing the outline, which is my newest focus for the book. I'm at a point now where I have enough momentum around the narratives that it's time to start an advance plan to synchronize how events get presented. I almost feel like I need to spend a week offline with my remarkable device and nothing else to achieve that level of continuous concentration.

Insights: Tonight was a pleasant calm evening at home. I continue to consciously relish the space we share and the good fortune and opportunities we have had to create this space and these moments.

⚖️182.8(-1.2) ❤️66(63-110) 👣8,483(3.9mi) 🏋️‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️

Next of Pumpkin

A short evening walk prompted a moment of introspection. The routine path was illuminated not only by the amber street lights that are a constant presence, but with scattered additions of orange, purple and deep red along the way. Many homes have put up their Halloween decor in preparation for this Friday's annual parade of costumed toddlers working their way door to door in an effort to match their body weight with a pillow case full of candy.

I can't narrow down exactly what caused my insomnia last night, but I would absolutely apply the psychologically standardized classification of such a scenario as "Ass". It was "Ass" to not be able to fall back asleep for several hours. It may have been the fatigue-induced post-workout nap I snuck into my late afternoon. It might have been due to wearing the neck brace to bed to limit some of the movement that triggers discomfort. It might have been the cold brew I consumed slightly late in the day, without fully understanding the concentration of the brand, "Stok". That's a forerunner in this attribution shell game. After knocking out a few N-times puzzles, my head started to spin about my cholesterol, of all things. The aggressive effort to regain my position on the scale through diet and exercise is to see whether doing so really results in the tests validating the efficacy and health benefits of this approach. At 2 am, however, my thoughts turned to numerous "what if" scenarios. I eventually nodded off after a fair amount of online inquiry into both camps of this medical consideration. Truth, neutrality, and humility seem lost at times. I was too tired to make the scheduled coffee at Howes or to join the online meditation, but I did end up having a full day in another fall of Jennifer outing. Following a Costco run during the early executive hours, moments after opening, we snagged some necessities. We returned home before heading back out and up to Castle Rock Park for some nature hiking. That, too, is a local spot with many memories of trips with our kids over the years. On the way up, I pulled over to show Jen the newly opened not rescue facility tucked away in the woods. We are going to try to coordinate a tour soon... we know people who know people. It was a beautiful 75° day with clear skies and acorns falling all around us. After a relatively short hike, we continued down the road and back into Los Gatos for a late lunch picnic at Ancona Vino, our favorite spot to find amazingly unique local and international wines. Our mission was to find an organic, non-filtered white from Greece. Ryan, the consistently knowledgeable proprietor and sommelier, nailed down two wonderful options. We then enjoyed A picnic lunch she brought along. I tasted lightly but stayed clear and stayed true to my focus. It was damned good stuff though!

⚖️184(-0.8) ❤️60(58-117) 👣10,918(4.8mi) 🥾 🏃‍♂️

Highlights: Getting a call from PGE about an opportunity to get free furnace inspection and repair on the morning I had a paid service tech scheduled to do so, which I promptly canceled. Returning to the Santa Theresa "Y" with Jen for Yoga and circuit training, both of which pushed me well. Playing with cold brewing coffee (4-day method). Dinner @ Marc/Christie's with them, Leona and kids (I sorta tagged along).

⚖️184.8(-0.4)❤️63(58-106) 👣 3,203(1.5mi)🧘‍♂️🙆‍♂️🏋️‍♂️

Highlights: A farmers market trip resulted in a wonderful tomato basil soup for dinner. Scottie's "Adequin" Shots are now on a bi-weekly cadence and seemingly still effective. Jikoji's newsletter goes out tomorrow, the weekly cadence is working well to streamline the process. Our home budget reviews are working well at keeping us on track. We are going to make an aggressive effort to learn some strategies around managing our limited resources as well as retirement related goals. I gained some insight at the gym about the circuit training setup that will play well into the week ahead.

🛏️ 7:41 AM ⚖️185.2(+0.6/-12.1) 👣 9,799(4.4mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️79min ❤️60(58-106)

Mindset: Frustration. Simply over the see-saw aspects of my current weight loss efforts with the fluctuation of the daily metrics. This is how it works best for me. Blips on a radar screen ensuring I maintain progress and make continuous minor course corrections. I also have to recognize the best intentions of others as attempts to assist, not to discount what I know works best for me.
Goals: Gym visit to perform an updated strength test.
Anticipation: Farmers Market trip.
Gratitudes: The chance to get something I wrote published to even the smallest of audiences.

Highlights: Mark’s help with the floor transitions at my mom’s. A wonderful dinner party with the Marioni/Priests crew. Lively conversation and laughter.

🛏️ 7:04 AM ⚖️184.6(+0.8/-12.7)🧘‍♂️10min 👣 5,226(2.6mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️15min ❤️60(58-116)🩸122/78

Highlights: although I headed up later than planned, my visit to Jikoji was a good one. It was productive and rewarding to be engaged and collaborating on some policy refinements and ways to simplify things. Mom's 2nd treatment visit went smoothly. They seem to have reduced some bottlenecks in their workflows as well. The furnace issues continue and my triage efforts have reached a point of calling in an HVAC service or risking electrocution. Oh well. Hoping it'll be a simple fix. At least it's not critical need and more preparatory. Jen and I finished watching the "live to 100" documentary about "blue zones". It was informative while validating and challenging. We're doing more right than not. Especially with the recent introduction of exercise. I'm torn though about some of the food related takeaways. Mostly because the approach I have taken, Keto, doesn't fit into their recommendations. I'm anticipating some updated bloodwork next month that should be a strong indication of the effectiveness of this current regime. Then I can reassess.

🛏️ 6:47 AM ⚖️183.8(+0.6/-13.5) 👣 12,000(5.4mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️48min ❤️61(57-116)

Family portrait

A relatively quiet, simple day. Took mom to/from treatments without issues. Dropped by after home to get a 2nd watch charger for her and managed to finally get voicemail setup too. Jen went out with Deann, Tommy had a friend over and I felt good that he seems to be more comfortable doing so. Worked out at the Saratoga Y. Feeling good about the benefits and habit, wanting to make it a priority for our mutual benefit and future.

🛏️ 6:58 AM ⚖️183.2(-2.4/-14.1)🧘‍♂️24min 👣 8,542(3.9mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️87min ❤️59(57-115)🩸119/86

Highlights: Returning Tommy's window screen and giving him genuine feedback on how, in the future, it's not necessary to consider it an option. Mom's treatment cycle began with bloodwork and review. Same as always - stable. Shots tomorrow and Friday, and we're done for another 4 weeks. Today was her birthday. My mom appreciated the exchange and play-on words I shared with Matt C last night. (He said to tell her he put her birthday on his calendar as a recurring event. I replied that meant she had something to live up to.) Jen and I gathered for dinner at her place with Lindsey, Ryan and Tommy. David called, and Lauren joined on a later call, too.

🛏️ 6:35 AM ⚖️185.6(0/-11.7) 🧘‍♂️9min 👣 15,039(6.7mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️57min ❤️60(58-123)

Highlights: Howes Your Coffee with Tommy joining, then Jen after her walk with Deann. Patio & firepit at home. Things are gonna cool down as we head into fall. The leaves are turning. Worked out at the Saratoga Y while the other is closed for updates. Weight loss has stalled but it's manageable and relatively routine. I'll kick it back Into gear tomorrow. Had a great long call catching up with Matt C. as we reflected on the past present and future. Life is short, getting shorter, and what we invest our energy in correlates far more with our sense of responsibility and influence.

🛏️ 6:31 AM ⚖️185.6(0/-11.7) 👣 15,429(7.1mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️91min ❤️61(59-123)

Life's What You Make It

I was thinking this morning about how wonderful life feels right now. I had the same thought last night, accompanied by a parallel awareness of how precariously poised this all truly is. While walking out of a store with Jen as the sun was setting and the hills gradually relinquished their hold on a fading amber hue of light, I said, "Can you believe we get to experience this?". She, of course, knew exactly what I meant, being a reference not to the moment alone, but the moments together, the ongoing momentum of the time we feel so fortunate to share.

Highlights: Got up and out early for a meeting at Alice's with Nenzen, Oshin and Misha. We set about discussing a slew of topics and tasks related to our ongoing efforts to continue ensuring a healthy stable environment exists at the Zen center. It was a positive discussion and for the most part I held my opinions at bay while conveying my strongest concerns and recommendations. Tommy returned from Tucson. Jen and I attended Marc's family gathering celebrating his 65th Birthday. Our copy of "The Sons of Sarah Horn" arrived and we dove into it tonight, finishing Chapter One and stopping. (It was a late start).

🛏️ 7:05 AM ⚖️185.6(1/-11.7 🧘‍♂️15min
👣 8,262(3.6mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️32min ❤️62(59-125)

🛏️ 7:35 AM ⚖️184.6(0/-12.7)
Highlights: Hella-good coffee this am. The new roast process might bear fruit. Got the newsletter wrapped up with a few last minute tweaks. Jen made some wonderful food including "pigs in a blanket" that a dog in an empty kitchen made short with of. Whatafucker. Dug a hole for the new shrubbery. Put in a solid 2x sets of exercise in at the gym. I may have found a path to working around some writers block. We watched "A Big Bold Beautiful Journey" - it was a long flat presentation of an otherwise intriguing premise. Not that I've written anything better. Yet.
👣 7,161(3.3mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️47min ❤️63(57-125)🩸130/77

Seventh Year Adventus

This whole thing started rather organically. Initially, it was a solitary attempt to centralize a collection of opinions and recommendations for movies, music, and local food and services. Over the years, though, it gradually shifted into narrative explorations of current events and personal reflections. Musings that were sporadic in cadence and content.

Highlights: A candidate for a highlight would be Scottie's resurrection from the dead. With time to reflect on the event, it seems likely to have been a seizure. The correlation to monthly flea/tick and heartworm meds remains speculative as a factor, but could also be coincidental. Either way, dead dog walking made it through the day without a repeat episode. So for. We had friends over for dinner, and Jen set things up to start earlier than usual. I thought it worked out well. 4- 5 for wine and conversation, dinner and dialog for a couple more hours, and we had time after to attend to routine tasks and still wind down at a reasonable hour. We are officially transitioning to early-bird old-people dining routines. Blue Pheasant FTW.
.
🛏️ 6:28 AM ⚖️184.6(+1/-12.7) 👣 14,678(6.5mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️65min ❤️59(57-109)

Mindset: Uncertainty. Scottie seems much better this morning but his decline is undeniable. We will be monitoring things and discussing what we need to consider as ways to provide care and support.
Goals: At this point just the dog and household tasks.
Anticipation: Good friends visiting tonight will be welcome.
Gratitudes: The love for and from a pet I didn't want and now don't want to consider letting go of.

Highlights: Breakfast with Tommy at LG Cafe. He is off to Tucson to visit his cousin until Monday. I played with a new spin on a coffee roasting protocol with interesting results. I have yet to brew it. Jen and I went to Natural Bridges to see the Monarch Migration but it's not quite in swing yet. We will return in late November. We stopped at Wrights Station on the way home to picnic and pickup. I'm still staying clear of the stuff but enjoyed the afternoon all the same.

Insights: The evening took a southern turn as Scottie himself did the same. He could barely walk and at one point he lost control of his bowels and I thought for a moment he was dead. He has been on a gradual decline but this was extreme and very concerning. He seems stable now but is still in a bad way. I anticipate him making it through the night but I'm not sure yet about the year let alone the month. I was saying goodbye to him and meaning it. We have some challenges and difficult decisions to make. I feel inclined to approach third dory of thing from a practical and humane perspective but deep down my heart is breaking when I see him in pain and disoriented fear.

🛏️ 6:54 AM ⚖️183.6(-2.2/-13.7) 🧘‍♂️10min 👣 14,830(6.7mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️79min ❤️63(63-123)

This, Bud, 's for you.

Jen went walking in the morning with Deann. Early. Like, 5:30 am early. The deal is, as it is for mornings I go up to Jikoji, if you plan ahead you can get up and out without awakening the dual demanders. For me this amounts to setting my socks and shoes out in the kitchen and whatever I am wearing in the bathroom. Provided I apply the stealth skills I was "Bourne" with and orchestrate an undetected transition from the mattress to the bathroom and out the bedroom door, I am free to quietly depart. It spares me the obligation of taking the dogs out to pee and feeding them, which significantly fucks with my schedule. That usually works for me. With her, not so much. She sleeps through anything while I am awaked by the same. Anything. Also, the dogs have some crazy-ass Sylvia Brown level psychic connection to her presence. They could both be in the deepest of deep dog dream slumber, paws twitching as muffled woof's are exhaled as puffs of breath while chasing squirrels in fields of golden poppies, yet even if she moved at a glacial speed to sneak away, their feet will touch the floor before hers break from beneath the blankets. Which is how our day began. It allowed me to sleep awhile longer before going with Tommy to have coffee at the Great Beer. We ended up getting into a rather deep conversation about our relationship and the nature of the many challenges we have and have yet to navigate. My position is that things are fundamentally fine and, with time and some distance, will improve. I have concerns and doubts about how things will go when it comes time for him to move out next summer, but Jen and I are going to proactively reinforce it as a plan and an essential necessity. Separately from all of this, Jen's having a bit of a crisis today, coming to grips with anxiety about her career path, job loss, the job market, and what she considers uncertainty. We are in no way at all in a position to not need to work, but we are in enough of a position that we don't have to panic and can actually enjoy a month or three while planning our next gigs. I will certainly find something in 2026. Our afternoon got sidetracked by a decision to move some stuff around in the kitchen and to give Tommy the top pantry spot,  as he's the only one who can reach it easily. The other noteworthy highlight tonight was my solo trip to see "My Darling Clementine" and "The Ox Bow Incident" at the Stanford as a part of their Classic Westerns Film Festival. That movie is one of the earliest movies that had a powerful emotional impact on me. I first came across it in my early teens on some random dial stop. It's an intense, well-made character study and exploration of the vigilantism mentality and vengeance. It's been about 50 years since I last saw it, and it still holds up, if not more so, in our political climate and extreme divisions.

"Law is a lot more than words you put in a book, or judges or lawyers or sheriffs you hire to carry it out. It's everything people ever have found out about justice and what's right and wrong. It's the very conscience of humanity. There can't be any such thing as civilization unless people have a conscience, because if people touch God anywhere, where is it except through their conscience? And what is anybody's conscience except a little piece of the conscience of all men that ever lived?"

🛏️ 7:31 AM ⚖️185.8(+1/-11.5) 👣 9,719(4.4mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️42min ❤️64(55-123)

Mindset: 🙂 Plesantly aligned with my day's seemingly balanced amount of commitments.
Goals: Help mom with her home needs and myself with the integration of a writing schedule.
Anticipation: Possibly going to the Ancora Vino pickup, yet maybe not. Yesterday was a lot and I have plans tomorrow night too.
Gratitudes: Getting traction and making progress with physical fitness needs.

Highlights: A "there and back" day with Jen and Matt B in Vegas. Both wanted to go see the Meow Wolf "Omega Mart" there. We got cheap flights and flew out in the morning, took a Lyft to Omega Mort, and spent about 2.5 to 3 hours exploring it, following clues, and trying to understand everything. We got significantly more out of it than Lauren and I did, but there is too much to consume in one visit. The timing worked well, as a NetApp event in town allowed Matt to briefly sync up with former colleagues after dinner and before our return flight.

Insights: I have a good life.

🛏️ 6:54 AM ⚖️184.8(-0.8/-12.5) 🧘‍♂️11min 👣 19,902(8.6mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️53min ❤️71(56-117)

Patterns Align

I found this tiny leaf on Sunday. I was sitting on the floor of our bedroom hallway in front of the closet, trying to organize my shoes. This was visible just inside one of my slippers. Dried out, cracked and folded in one section, I picked it up and looked at it more closely. I then found the fold of the broken fragment resting against the opposite side. Still attached, at least enough to do so, I was able to gently bend it back into place, re-forming the whole leaf to its complete shape. The fracture was still there, yet not at all visible.

Highlights: Tommy returned from his Trip to San Antonio at around 2:30 am. I heard him come in, even though he was quiet. He shared a few stories with Jen and me, and it sounds like it went well for him. Jen's leg issues resulted in punting yoga, but I went solo to do some circuit training and cardio. I have gotten into a groove with this to the point of getting that dopamine rush of accomplishment. The weight's not coming off as quickly as I would like, but it's still trending downward, and a few things are fitting again. I am locked in at this point. It's about fuckin' time. We went to see "One Battle After Another? It was excellent, but not where my head is, per se. I have drifted from these genres. Still, it's good and I recommend it. It was pouring rain when we got out. Back at home, I put on some Julie London, which resonates with me as rainy day music. The evening was spent getting our ducks aligned for our outing with Matt B. tomorrow.

Insights: This book is not writing itself. Other things are being written, and as I refine them, scraps of the book become identified and set aside. The idea that it not be completed while I can is in significant conflict with the fact that I seem unable to. There are always excuses. Always another need. Always avoidance. It's overwhelming at times. It feels like the weight loss and exercise that finally kicked in. I need to make it a top priority- a mandate of sorts. I felt a reasonable degree of potential this morning when I followed a meditation with some writing. It seems to be the right "space" to set aside daily to at least come out on an initial draft of a chapter a week. Of course, there will be revisions and changes through an iterative process, like many of my more substantial efforts have been. But at least the rough draft can be 80% done by year's end. Here goes something.

🛏️ 6:49 AM ⚖️185.6(0/-11.7) 🧘‍♂️11min 👣 6,505(3.6mi) 💪/🏃‍♂️37min ❤️58(56-110)

Fetch 'till you drop

Spent time writing a few posts to publish this week. Cleaned up around the house in anticipation of Jen's return. Blew out the backyard leaves too, and prep's things for rain tomorrow. Picked up Jen from SJC. Late arrival and timing aligned to the point that I picked her up within 60 seconds of approaching the terminal. No time wasted.

🛏️ 7:21 AM ⚖️185.6(0/-11.7) 👣 9,455(4.3mi)🏃‍♂️33min ❤️60(58-108)

I had the entire day to myself. Jen's in Arizona & Tommy's in Texas. It felt weird. It still does. Yet my recollection of living alone is stirring. It's calming to have the space uninterrupted. I got off my ass and tackled a slew of tasks I have been putting off, like fixing the door to the garage. Hence, it closes easily, putting air in the car tires, moving things around for Scottie's crate access being clear of the floor vent (which he had an encounter with early this a), and assorted routine upkeep tasks around the house. Mark came by to help install the kitchen drawers, which saved me a lot of time because he had all the necessary tools. Another highlight was a text exchange with my brother that felt healthy and positive. I think both of our ideologies and perspectives have evolved in similar directions. Oh, and my attempt at egg bites in the air fryer worked wonderfully, and the 18-count yield means it will last and/or be shared. I spent some focused time with Scottie, as the time feels fleeting. The day overall felt very rewarding—a good balance. I seem to have needed it.

🛏️ 6:45 AM ⚖️185.6(-1/-11.7) 👣 11,126(5mi)🏃‍♂️31min ❤️63(60-127)🩸123/74

Highlights: Howes your coffee remote thanks to the convertible access and Mark's knowledge of an epic spot above the Los Gatos Hills that used to be a convent. I, in return, showed him the "DePalma" house route I traversed on bikes multiple times with my good friend Tom back in the late 90s. It was an epic morning and an epic way to start the day. I followed it with two circuit training passes at the gym and some cardio. My mom called and was having trouble making a phone call with her phone. I never realized how complicated it could be to explain to somebody who's not tech-savvy when they're on a phone call with you and you're trying to walk them through the process to make a phone call. It's not easy. I sent some screenshots, and she could make it work, but it was another instance of being reminded that getting rid of her landline was a shortsighted move with the best intentions. I went to the Stanford Theater to see the Treasures of Sierra Madre. I might have half-watched it decades before, but I've never watched it with intention. It was pretty good. Really great writing. Dramatic and powerful. I got to say farewell to Tommy before he headed out for his Houston trip with Stanford. I have the house to myself until Sunday.

🛏️ 6:38 AM ⚖️186.6(0/-10.7) 👣 7,782(3.6mi)🏃‍♂️35min ❤️67(60-127)

Highlights: 4:45 am. That was my waking time. Far from being by choice, I will say that I am pleased get annoyed to still have hearing this good. There was a faint and distant beep occurring somewhere in the house. I tried to ignore it but could not, resigning myself to the task of isolating it. It took several iterations to narrow it down to the kitchen near the garage door, then eventually into the garage itself. It was ultimately traced to the carbon monoxide detector—old, dumb technology—but it was at least less traumatic than this prior incident. I ended up restlessly playing wordle and connections until falling back to sleep for what amounted to It was less than an hour before our alarms, and the SAD light signaled the time to get up and take Jennifer to the airport. She flew to Arizona for a girls' weekend with her Roseville crew. Having plans to take my mom to tour an assisted living place gave me a reason to leverage being out already and go to her neighborhood and linger at Starbucks. It was packed and chaotic. Rush hour in a high-tech hub. By 9:30, things settled down. I picked up my mom and took her to Belwood Villages. It's a very nice place with lots of amenities, and she liked it. Yet it would be a significant change to downside from the home she has lived in for over 50 years now into a small apartment. It's not my hope that she goes there. I want and will do what it takes to help her stay in her home for as long as she is able to do so. This is more of a contigency plan for a "what if" scenario.

Insights: I miss Jen. I love our home: the decor and all the history we honor within it. I relish the comfort I find in having Scottie leaning against me as my vinyl playlist takes me on a randomized reflection of the paths and people leading to this moment. I am at home in the space she and I have created. It's all about the people, the experiences, the friendships and the family.

 
🛏️ 4:43 AM ⚖️186.6(-1.0/-10.7) 👣 15,443(7.2mi)🏃‍♂️54min ❤️63(60-124)

Highlights: Fine, ok, yes, I slept in for a change. Don't bust my chops, Sparky. Moderation in all things, no? I can't wake early every day, sit in meditation every day, get morning light, drink salt water, blah blah blah, every day, so back the fuck off. Just kidding. With Jen going off for a girls weekend early tomorrow and knowing I'll have three days of being on fuly dog duty I asked her to manage things while I took a break from the rituals. And not even a break, just a delay. I got in some meditation, water and more. We took another class together at the Y... yoga, but "chair" yoga. It was good, and as much of a test of my flexibility as the prior one. I scraped by with a "needs improvement" review. Following that we got set upon a 9-step circuit training machine by a guy name "Junior" who's a decade old than I and had a very positive nature. I am hoping to make things align in order to go do this 3 times a week, along with a few targeted machines, and more balance and stretching courses. Scottie's continuing to show signs of further degradation. One of his teeth is very close to falling out and his back issues, even with the shots and painkillers, seem to be bringing him down. He's also losing his hearing, maybe about 70% or so. I am working to balance my sadness at the prospect of his eventual absence with a responsibility to care for him and mitigate pain while his quality of life remains good. When being fed or out for a walk, you'd not think it was otherwise. In other news I pulled the trigger to sign up for our interim needs of healthcare. One more big rock moved out of our way. At least we have something in place, especially given how unstable thinkg are, government-wise. Nothing feels stable, permanent or secure anymore.

Insights: Touching on Scotties condition brings my mom to mind. She's been doing well in regards to the AML and treatments. So well that it has become routine, and the terminal nature of her condition is practically forgotten. Yet this month will be her 20ᵗʰ treatment cycle within a 12-24 month prognosis. It seems more and more likely that a change may be on the horizon. In parallel, her physical limitations have gradually increased to the point that she and I are talking about contingency plans for her care and well being should independent living become a risk. I anticipate 2026 being a year of increasing needs and responsibilities. It is as grounding to be aware of this. As is this "Fall of Jennifer "time. As we did yoga today there was a moment I looked at her and felt amazed by the journey we have shared. I also told her after class that she was the most attractive woman in the room... but being a relatively older crowd, than us I don't know that it made much of an impression or scored me many points. :-)

🛏️ 8:59 AM ⚖️187.6(0/-9.7) 🧘‍♂️10min 👣 10,857(4.8mi)🏃‍♂️94min ❤️65(60-118)

Highlights: Jen joined me for our first "gentle yoga" class at the Y. I was going to take it to see how it was while she was in the pool with Christy, but that fell through, so she came along. That was the first of two, the second being a, wait for it.... "senior" fitness class. Back to back, both of them dramatically reinforced what my friends Jess and Alex have been preaching to me about, let alone my son. Aging well requires a lot of effort and maintaining strength and flexibility. I was reminded this morning that I have none. It wasn't always like this, but it's been at least a decade since I made any consistent effort to follow a strong cardio routine, let alone maintain muscle strength. Situps, squats and pushups have gotten highly fragmented attention, too. I've said before that I do not typically like gyms. I must admit that, once there, I feel more focused and inspired to make more effort than I might at home with a set of weights. It's only day two, but I already have a few ideas for creating a sustainable routine that can slide gracefully into my mornings.

Insights: I suddenly feel old. In my mind, I'm stuck some­where between 17 and 25, while my body has been moving forward and succumbing to the force of gravity along the way. Physical limitations like neck issues have mandated a conservative approach to recreation, but that does not mean I can't stay fit and limber. In a way, it's all the more motivation to do so. I always took the stairs up and down, and recently resurrected that commitment. 30 minutes on an elliptical fly by while focused on an audiobook, pod­cast or other informative or entertaining content. (I have watched a few episodes of "Loudermilk" and "Afterlife" and enjoyed both while resisting the binging impulse. I am more interested in Nova's current programs on the origin and evolution of humans). My point is that I, of all people, am conscious of limited time, and I don't want limited mobility to be something I allow through apathy and laziness. My running days and "impact "days are over, but my simple goal going forward is to build back up to a point where a hike to Vernal Falls would not leave me winded or sore for days.

🛏️ 7:00 AM ⚖️188(0/-9.3) 🧘‍♂️21min 👣 7,439(3.3mi)🏃‍♂️117min ❤️63(59-123)

Colder mornings have begun to creep into place as the sunrise times receeds, making the impulse to linger in bed into the later morning hours for more compelling. The warmth, the weight of the blankets, the womb-like fetal position take a significant degree of willpower to break free of. Jen had already done so some 30 minutes prior, having scheduled a walk along the Los Gatos trail to Lexington and back with Deann. I grogilly bade her farewell from beneath the covers, cautious not to shift them them and allow the recently released natural gas heating to become apparent. I eventually quietly arose, weighed in (still at a plateau), gathered my morning's daily supplement of electrolytes, AirPods and tennis shoes, and head out to the gym. I was pleased to find it as I anticipated I would at 8am on a Sunday. Empty. I am absolutely not at home in a crowded gym environment, particularly when I am new to the equipment. It has been almost 20 years since my last gym membership at "AVAC'" and things have certainly changed when it comes to the integration of technology into the equipment. I won't call it an advance but with time I might. I have all of these various options for scenery to "walk through," integration of Pandora, YouTube and other media, and connectivity to AirPods, Apple Watch and other devices. You know what I could not find? An off switch for the distracting display. I would need to spend 10 minutes of a 30 minute workout just configuring the damned thing! I see the potential and possible benefit of leaving my phone behind if I want to consume content from a limited source. I will experiment, maybe adapt, but old dogs don't do well learning new tricks. After an initial effort on their eliptical (I prefer mine at home) and a series of rep's on the chest and biceps machine I wrapped it up and returned home just ahead of Tommy end of Jen. Her recent "bisquit" recipe made for an enjoyable breakfast alongside my medium roast brew. Shortly after, Steve texted us that his father, Bud, had passed away this morning. It was expected yet impactful. His last few years were the kind that make for good arguments around the dichotomy of longevity within the context of quality. It was ironically the first of two focuses on death for the day, the second being Jennifer and me attending a "Celebration of Life" event at Stanford with Tommy and his colleagues in Pediatric Oncology. It was a somber experience neither of us fully expecte,d yet it was also a reminder of the good fortune we have had so far in our lives, and the impact even the shortest lifetime can have on those that continue. The presentation of the images of all of the children of various ages that passed away during the prior 12 months had us all choking up. We met the family of the 11-year-old that Tommy had established such a strong connection to, and of course, they were filled with praise and gratitude for all he gave of himself throughout those last several months. The evening concluded with my making a few mentor revisions to the weekly newsletter now being generated within square space where the website resides. It makes things significantly easier.

🛏️ 7:27 AM ⚖️188(0/-9.3) 👣 10,284(5mi)🏃‍♂️25min ❤️62(60-109)

Lunch at "Plank" with Jen, myself, Jack and Judy. We arrived early to walk about and enjoy the weather. Jack is a former boss from the mid-80's who has been a friend and mentor ever since. We have maintained relatively annual contact and as we age, it's increased. In the realm of positive influences on me, he's in the top five. We stopped to visit my mom and troubleshoot another technical issue that of course was resolved quickly by me. I will be installing a recommend app to enable remote access soon. These incidents are likely to increase. Jen made us a wonderful dinner, "bacon cheeseburger soup". Keto. So three servings is ok, yes?  

🛏️ 8:04 AM ⚖️188(0/-9.3) 👣 10,387(4.6mi)🏃‍♂️17min ❤️62(60-117)

Highlights: Man, after this day, what's not a highlight? I had a difficult sleep ruminating about finding paperwork related to Tommy's firearms safety training, which is all tied to ownership. We have had some heated discussions in the past around BB guns and our very firm guidelines that no guns are allowed in our home, BB or otherwise. Yet this was not finding one; it was a training certificate. I had the foresight and calmness to step back and think through how I want to respond. It was an excellent opportunity to practice what I preach, being focused not on controlling anything other than my response. I thought for some time about my concerns and how the only aspect of control I genuinely had was that it was not allowed in our home. So I sent him a photo of the document, which he had left sitting on the entry hall table in plain sight, and reasserted that none were allowed in our home. I included Jennifer, who has more exposure to guns in a house. When I saw him in the morning, he had not yet seen it and was shocked to have left it out. The good thing was that we had a good conversation in the kitchen, and shortly after. He insists he will honor our boundaries and explains that he has been doing this training since his EMT classes. We seemed to, for the first time in many ways, agree to disagree without escalations. And he was relieved. For me, it has a lot to do with my backing away from engaging or attempting to foster anything more than a tolerance through the spring. Keeping my distance. By not trying to control his choices, actions and fate, I can be more resigned to my own. At this point, he only has training and an, in my opinion, ignorant view of the world we live in and the very narrow likelihood of it being of use or value. Maybe like so many other things, this will fade too. Maybe not. This was just the start of the day. I joined the weekly planning meeting and was well engaged. Vincent from Eagle plumbing come to address the drain issue in the master bedroom shower which was a foot long hair clog that likely has dna prior to our ownership.I made dog food (33 days worth) throughout the morning and afternoon. my mom called about the new thermost not working so I went to triage and resolve the issue. It was working but the schedule needed to be setup, and the setup steps were very confusing for me! But it's fixed, and I can control it remotely if needed. I returned to the dog food production while sous-vide 'ing a Tm Tip. We gave Scottie his weekly shot without issue. I noticed in the early evening that Lucky. who had been acting as if something was wrong, had shit himself in a manner that defy's explaination. It took both of us to clean him up (testing the freshly clear drain) and trim the mess. We ended up setting up the trimming station in the garage and spending almost an hour giving him an intense and detailed grooming. Lauren joined in remotely via FaceTime. After we finished are played Forkel. Amongst this my mom called with watch charging issues again which I was able to help with. The whole day was spent juggling and responding to multiple things at once to a point of absurdity. But it's not always like this, won't always be either, and in the end I am proud of my rolling gracefully with it all.

🛏️ 8:36 AM ⚖️188(+1/-9.3) 👣 12,081(5.6mi)🏃‍♂️29min ❤️67(59-117)

It rained on and off throughout the night and into the morning. It's been quite some time since I have had to consider the rain in the morning as a factor of taking the dogs out to pee before breakfast, but it ended up being more of a factor for me than Sure, it was a light rain—nothing torential—but my conscious effort to set Scottie at the spot against the wall out of the rain made no difference. He sauntered about without a care in the world. So began yet another day of routines interwoven with uniquely rewarding opportunities. The "Fall of Jennifer" continued with an outing to Filoli, a historic estate about 30 minutes north of us. They have erected an art installation of large wooden Trolls within the woods on the outer area of their property. We have visited the estate several times before and even had a membership once, for a year, yet during that time we never ventured of the main house and immediate garden areas. It turned out to be quite an enjoyable outing. The Trolls were fun but for me the chance to hike about and explore the outskirts amongst redwoods, creeks and oak trees was a reward unto itself. It reminded me greatly of the hillsides of Villa Montalvo. We decided to buy a discounted membership that will allow us to return easily over the course of the next 12 + months. On the way home we managed to change my "GNO" plans to include Bev. Tonya wasn't available, unfortunately, but it changed what would have been a routine geek night into a more elaborate spur-of-the-moment gathering. Jen and I discussed earlier how fortunate we feel to have the family and friends we have and to get to experience all the things we do. Although I may first consider it a reward or result of good karma, sort of how I have when it comes to the efforts made with Linda and for the kids, I think that is misdirected. It's nothing of the sort. It's simply about gratitude and awareness. Life feels like it's racing by sometimes, because it is. Staying mindful of that is what puts things into perspective.

🛏️ 7:02 AM ⚖️187(0/-10.3) 🧘‍♂️9min ❤️61(59-113)🩸128/73

Highlights: Great Bear with Tommy. An aborted intro class at the Y due to our late arrival. Deep dive into calls and coordination of moms LLS grant, Lauren's med bill, and a ton of reading and learning about options as I look for stopgap until 65 and transitioning kids to their own plans as students. Complex stuff, seemingly by design. My evening plans got sidelined by a shower drain failing to live up to its name.

Insights: I'm proud of my managing to be avail and engaged while keeping a safe distance. The investigation into insurance is quite a challenge but I have a hope that I can make better decisions from an informed place soon. The drain issue hit a nerve of resentment at the inconvenience and interruption of my plans to write and read. As if shit going wrong at any given moment somehow has an obligation to do so only when it suits me? And as a home owner this comes with the territory. It's part of the chaos that makes life lively, no? I'll be reaching out to our friends at eagle plumbing in the am with the hope that's it's a simple snaking need but I have a feeling it's got potential to be a more costly…. wait no strike that. It'll be fine. Yeah, fine. Nothing but a small cost visit. Yep.🤞

🛏️ 7:38 AM ⚖️187(-1.8/-10.3) 👣 6,922(3.4mi)🏃‍♂️18min ❤️62(59-113)