We've been contacted by a study being performed on twins. Something to do with genetic vs environmental development. We've applied to be part of the study and we each had to go through a phone interview. They asked all kinds of questions about our own childhood and adulthood... stuff relating to A.D.D. related behavior, social skills, and drug/alcohol usage, habits, addictions...
When the interviewer asked me "Have you ever had any trouble stopping drinking', I knew exactly what they meant but could not resist the straight line and immediately replied, "No, I'd usually just keep going until I'd pass out".
I'm pretty sure they knew I was joking. We'll see if they call back or not.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Six Weird Habits
Updated 1.24.06 to include one I'd forgotten the first time around - g
I've had a torch passed to myself and Brian by Jess: follow suit on his doing the same and blog your 5 weird habits. Let me preface this by saying that when I saw 'As Good As It Gets' and the character Nicholson played, I felt like somebody finally understood me. Mi Compadre! I don't necessarily have to open door handles with a tissue or turn the locks the same number of times each day, but I am compulsive about a good many things. I'm sure when as you read this, you'll be thinking to yourself, 'it's all making sense now, Geoff. Do you also organize your batteries, you whack job?'. Hold that thought until you make it through the list.
Trash Compacting
This is the new addition to the list that just came to mind this weekend. When I dine anywhere that I end up having a paper cup, styrofoam container, plastic closing bin.... anything into which I can cram stuff into, well... I do just that. I labor to take every disposable plate, napkin, empty sugar packet, french-fry holder, plastic stir-stick, hell I even break plastic utensils when necessary, and I cram them into the cup/container that'll hold them all. Ideally, upon completion, I'll be able to close the lid and have all the trash self-contained for easy disposal.
Teeth Ticking
Probably the weirdest, and most likely to be found within the DSM-IV reference book: I 'click' my teeth. Not grind. Click, as in with a fingernail. It's a nervous habit that makes Crispen Glover appear reasonably balanced. I started it in mid/late 2000 when I discovered a few abnormally sharp crevices and peaks in my teeth. The dentist says the tongue is extremely sensitive and what feels like a spike is barely visible. But whatever the cause, once I stumbled across this anomaly I started having impulses to touch and click it. Try exploring about your own teeth, between the tops where they meet, inside.... feel 'em? Makes you wanna tick 'em. Do it. Tick. Tick that tooth. TICK IT! JOIN US! Bwahhahaha
Song Surfin
'I'd not expect most people to consider this a weird habit, but if you'd spend 15 min riding in my car while I jump about from one song to another, you'd think I have the attention span of, of, uh... where was I? Oh yeah, song surfing. You see, it's almost impossible for me to play a song all the way through. Simply because I hear it, recognize it, pretty much replay it in my head immediately, and want to move along to the next one. Listening to music with me drives my wife crazy. I put the 'tense' in 'Attention' Deficit Disorder. It's right in line with taking a bite out of each piece of the See's candy box, or at least pressing on the bottom of each piece enough to sift out the chews and find the nuts and toffee.
Routine Placement of Daily Objects
I always put things like my keys, cell phone, wallet and such in the exact same spot at home and work, every day, every time. And when I don't, I'm livid with myself. And if they're moved on me, it's derailing. I can't function. I can't walk straight. and until I do find them it feels like I'm walking about with my shoes on the wrong feet and my pee-pee on the wrong side of my pants. And if that throws me off kilter now, I can't wait to see what life with adolescent twins is gonna be like.
Java Jacket Alignment
The extent of my anal retentive behavior extends well beyond anything reasonable and all the way out to trivial and inconsequential idiosyncrasies including but not limited to having to align the seam of the 'java jacket' on my paper coffee cup with the seam of the paper coffee cup... and then having to have the mouthpiece of the lid at the exact 180 degree opposite position to the cup seam. Reader, meet the tip of the iceberg that is the dysfunction I call my daily existence.
Currency Events
I not only sequence bills in my wallet by denomination, but I have the 1's on the outside and ascend from there, all turned face up and facing the same direction, and I tend to straighten out the corners if they're bent or folded. I unconsciously do the same with coins, and when there's really an idle moment, the devil's playground kicks in and I rotate the faces to be in uniform position. And while we're on the topic of current, what better segue into loose batteries. Not only will my loose batteries all be stored to have + and - ends in the same direction, but I'll also go so far as to group the AA's by brand, and rotate each battery so the labels are all in uniform alignment. Doesn't everybody? Hey, it could be worse; I only do that on opened packages.
Oh, and my ultimate obsession has to be that the time I don't spend whining and lamenting about how I have absolutely no time to get anything done ends up being spend taking what could have been a five-minute bullet-pointed list and weaving a drawn-out narrative in its place.
Ritalin... take me away...
I've had a torch passed to myself and Brian by Jess: follow suit on his doing the same and blog your 5 weird habits. Let me preface this by saying that when I saw 'As Good As It Gets' and the character Nicholson played, I felt like somebody finally understood me. Mi Compadre! I don't necessarily have to open door handles with a tissue or turn the locks the same number of times each day, but I am compulsive about a good many things. I'm sure when as you read this, you'll be thinking to yourself, 'it's all making sense now, Geoff. Do you also organize your batteries, you whack job?'. Hold that thought until you make it through the list.
Trash Compacting
This is the new addition to the list that just came to mind this weekend. When I dine anywhere that I end up having a paper cup, styrofoam container, plastic closing bin.... anything into which I can cram stuff into, well... I do just that. I labor to take every disposable plate, napkin, empty sugar packet, french-fry holder, plastic stir-stick, hell I even break plastic utensils when necessary, and I cram them into the cup/container that'll hold them all. Ideally, upon completion, I'll be able to close the lid and have all the trash self-contained for easy disposal.
Teeth Ticking
Probably the weirdest, and most likely to be found within the DSM-IV reference book: I 'click' my teeth. Not grind. Click, as in with a fingernail. It's a nervous habit that makes Crispen Glover appear reasonably balanced. I started it in mid/late 2000 when I discovered a few abnormally sharp crevices and peaks in my teeth. The dentist says the tongue is extremely sensitive and what feels like a spike is barely visible. But whatever the cause, once I stumbled across this anomaly I started having impulses to touch and click it. Try exploring about your own teeth, between the tops where they meet, inside.... feel 'em? Makes you wanna tick 'em. Do it. Tick. Tick that tooth. TICK IT! JOIN US! Bwahhahaha
Song Surfin
'I'd not expect most people to consider this a weird habit, but if you'd spend 15 min riding in my car while I jump about from one song to another, you'd think I have the attention span of, of, uh... where was I? Oh yeah, song surfing. You see, it's almost impossible for me to play a song all the way through. Simply because I hear it, recognize it, pretty much replay it in my head immediately, and want to move along to the next one. Listening to music with me drives my wife crazy. I put the 'tense' in 'Attention' Deficit Disorder. It's right in line with taking a bite out of each piece of the See's candy box, or at least pressing on the bottom of each piece enough to sift out the chews and find the nuts and toffee.
Routine Placement of Daily Objects
I always put things like my keys, cell phone, wallet and such in the exact same spot at home and work, every day, every time. And when I don't, I'm livid with myself. And if they're moved on me, it's derailing. I can't function. I can't walk straight. and until I do find them it feels like I'm walking about with my shoes on the wrong feet and my pee-pee on the wrong side of my pants. And if that throws me off kilter now, I can't wait to see what life with adolescent twins is gonna be like.
Java Jacket Alignment
The extent of my anal retentive behavior extends well beyond anything reasonable and all the way out to trivial and inconsequential idiosyncrasies including but not limited to having to align the seam of the 'java jacket' on my paper coffee cup with the seam of the paper coffee cup... and then having to have the mouthpiece of the lid at the exact 180 degree opposite position to the cup seam. Reader, meet the tip of the iceberg that is the dysfunction I call my daily existence.
Currency Events
I not only sequence bills in my wallet by denomination, but I have the 1's on the outside and ascend from there, all turned face up and facing the same direction, and I tend to straighten out the corners if they're bent or folded. I unconsciously do the same with coins, and when there's really an idle moment, the devil's playground kicks in and I rotate the faces to be in uniform position. And while we're on the topic of current, what better segue into loose batteries. Not only will my loose batteries all be stored to have + and - ends in the same direction, but I'll also go so far as to group the AA's by brand, and rotate each battery so the labels are all in uniform alignment. Doesn't everybody? Hey, it could be worse; I only do that on opened packages.
Oh, and my ultimate obsession has to be that the time I don't spend whining and lamenting about how I have absolutely no time to get anything done ends up being spend taking what could have been a five-minute bullet-pointed list and weaving a drawn-out narrative in its place.
Ritalin... take me away...
Monday, January 23, 2006
Trains, Trees, Stars and Hermits
Since moving into the new house, our garage has closely resembled the warehouse from the final scene of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’, and retrieving something from one of the stacks of boxes has been as harrowing an effort as that same film’s opening sequence. So after spending the majority of Saturday making a huge effort to get much of the clutter in a more organized fashion, we opted to spend Sunday out and about with the kids.
Roaring Camp Railroads: The day began here; we arrived just in time to allow the kids the opportunity to walk about the small ‘town’ before hearing the approaching whistle and witnessing the arrival of their train. We’ll be going back soon to actually take the full 1hr plus ride, but they were quite happy to see a real train, and walking hand in hand with my son along the tracks brought back my own memories of doing something similar with my own father.
Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park: Directly next to [a few steps away] Roaring Camp Railroads is Henry Cowell Redwoods, a state park we’ve frequented, and it was one of the first places we went with the kids when they were really young. They loved being ‘free’ to run along the path, and we loved being ‘free’ to let them do so.
Seymour Center – Visitor Information: This is on the cliffs of Santa Cruz overlooking the ocean. It’s small but ideal for children; there’s wonderful fish, activities, and a touching tank where they both got to touch starfish and hold hermit crabs.
10ThingsWithKids.com: We found Seymour Center via a membership we have with this website, which sends us weekly updates of things in the area for families to do. Take a look at it.
Roaring Camp Railroads: The day began here; we arrived just in time to allow the kids the opportunity to walk about the small ‘town’ before hearing the approaching whistle and witnessing the arrival of their train. We’ll be going back soon to actually take the full 1hr plus ride, but they were quite happy to see a real train, and walking hand in hand with my son along the tracks brought back my own memories of doing something similar with my own father.
Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park: Directly next to [a few steps away] Roaring Camp Railroads is Henry Cowell Redwoods, a state park we’ve frequented, and it was one of the first places we went with the kids when they were really young. They loved being ‘free’ to run along the path, and we loved being ‘free’ to let them do so.
Seymour Center – Visitor Information: This is on the cliffs of Santa Cruz overlooking the ocean. It’s small but ideal for children; there’s wonderful fish, activities, and a touching tank where they both got to touch starfish and hold hermit crabs.
10ThingsWithKids.com: We found Seymour Center via a membership we have with this website, which sends us weekly updates of things in the area for families to do. Take a look at it.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Going Through Techno-Detox
I'm... so... cold... the tips of my fingers are unable to steadily rest on the keys as I type this, due in part to the repetitive trembling and cold chills that run up my spine every few minutes, and in part to the damp film from my blanched fingers, coated with a sweaty glaze. Waves of nausea hit routinely, spasms ripple through my stomach, and if there were anything left to wretch forward, it'd be a solace to the burning harshness of repeated dry heaves. I don't know that I'd have gone "cold turkey" like this if I'd known how excruciating this experience would be. I pray for a breakthrough. I await the day I don't wake up with the jolting sense of falling, clammy sheets awash with perspiration, and the sensation of crawling along my legs and arms. You'd think I'd stopped shooting heroin. If only it were so easy. But it's not, it's far worse. For 2006, I've given up a 5-year daily habit that consumed my finances, threatened my family life, and more than once risked my life by my driving under the influence. After all this time and an escalating dependency, I'm pushing pause, silencing the noise, and unplugging. Yes, I'm officially living without an iPod. And the silence is, well, actually, it's not so bad...
In the late 1990's, A contractor by the name of Isaac Finger joined our team at Apple. He brought some brilliant FileMaker Pro skills, a good sense of humor, and a fresh young take on technology. During his stay, he brought a burgeoning underground technology to my attention. "It's the future," he said, "10 years from mow it'll be how everybody listens to music" he'd swear. I found it intriguing, found it an amazing thought to consider that the entire Beatles catalog might fit on a single data CD, but discounted the concept of it being the next evolution in media distribution. How could this have the mass appeal of CD's when you'd be tied to a computer system in order to enjoy them? "HA" I'd retort... "never gonna happen" I'd mutter. Yet slowly, and surely, it happened in a big way, and only now can I look back with lucid eyes and a clear head to recognize the man as the cyber-pusher who gave me my first taste of what would become an obsession.
Creative writing aside, I have always, as far back as I can remember, been obsessed with music. I even DJ's weddings for several years. At one time my CD collection filled and overflowed a wall crammed with ~300-400 CDs. And when the need for a CD burner entered our workplace, where I was responsible for burning data backups, I spent nights and weekends learning how to extract Audio CDs to 'AIFF' files and press them back onto my own collection CDs. The process was laborious and fraught with pitfalls of limited hard drive space and transfer speeds. Still, as a modest piece of trivia, if you were to peruse the archived CD collection of CPU Software bundle builds for Apple, one of the first ever pressed will play 'Brand New Caddilac' is inserted into an Audio CD player. (These were internal backups, not shipping to customers, so hopefully, I won't find my office flanked by dark-suited ambassador's of Apple Legal when I arrive to work next week.)
With the gradual onset of improvements and a gift of a portable CD/MP3 player combo at Christmas, I started working on the conversion and replacement of my CD collection with MP3s. Shortly after getting the CD player, i recognized it's limitations, purchase of a portable MP3 player called the Archos Jukebox, and shelved the other (only to have it resurface this year and find a functional place in our kids playroom with a specific Kids Music collection MP3 CD pressed as a test of the 'music soothes the savage beast' adage. Oh, and it's a lie).
Fast fwd to a time when i've pretty much narrowed physical CD ownership down to a scant set of essential favorites that I want to always have 'master quality' access to, to a time when i've gone through a wide range of methods to enable access to music at home via TiVo's built in streaming support, line-in of my iPod audio to the home stereo, and the 'AirTunes' feature of an AirPort Express. In addition, thanks to some nameless resources, i've consistently managed to find a vast pool of material to add to my already burgeoning collection of audio material. I have surpassed 122 gigabytes of files, or for the layman in the crowd (the one that still shops at Tower Records) that's well over 25,000 songs, over 3 months of 24x7 music with nothing being played twice.
So you'd think that'd be enough, right? For most, perhaps, but for us obsessive/compulsive types, all it takes is something new to spark another flame before the embers cool... and this time, it was the Video iPod.
I paced around the purchase of the new Video iPod for quite awhile. I'd end up at the company store on campus weekly, stopping first at the iPod Video display. I'd hold it, envy it, envision owning it, and put it down. Deep down I think i knew it'd only mean trouble. I think i knew i''d be opening a Pandora's Music-Box of sorts, into which whatever little free time and attention i have would be sucked without a moments notice. The angel on one shoulder tried to remind me of the family, finances and time i'd already sunk into music alone, while the devil on the other shoulder simply echoed, repeatedly, the mantra that so easily wore me down... "Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness... Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness... Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness...".
As the end of the year came upon me, my 'once-a-year employee discount' was rapidly racing towards a cliff off of which it'd plummet, burst into flames, and in my own delusional rationalizations, take out innocent women and children on the way if I didn't step up to the plate and prevent it from reaching it's edge. I figured that by selling my current iPod on eBay would probably net me enough to cover the costs of the 30gig model. And so I headed down that path, sold it for about the cost of the 30gig, but somehow there was a snafu at the register, and I'd unknowingly purchased the higher end and higher priced 60gig model! I was aghast! Surely there was some mistake. Worse, i'd already opened it, too, preventing me from returning it to correct the heinous error. ...I rehearsed these and other excuses with the devil on my shoulder snickered while I worked my way to the counter, purchased the top of the line model, and gleefully went back about my business.
Only now, there was a void crying out to be filled. Sure, my music collection had reach an obscene size, but i had little on hand to utilize, let alone show off the cool new support for Video. I immediately began to fill my nights and weekends with searches for sites and tools used to take DVDs and convert them, and to find online sources for more content as well. I found them all, lots of them, all of which required time themselves to learn, try, tweak, etc. I was starting to queue up downloads of media overnight, fret over converting DVDs during the day, distracted constantly by the desire to multitask, master the domain and compile collections of, of... of.... of stuff I already had or would not really watch.
2005 was a VERY long year. We moved all the way to the Sacramento area in January and back again in October. We moved the kids 4 times in 12 months. FOUR! I've started a wonderful new job with a steep learning curve, doing something I love and love the idea of learning and doing more. I have a wonderful wife, two adorable kids, and more things to deal with on a daily bases just to stay current with the demands of day to day living, without the ongoing distractions of keeping my music library growing, let along starting a new fork in the road down which all that might lie is the ability to watch a DVD or TV show on a tiny little screen instead of my computer or TV itself. And moreover, the ROI question comes into play; i've been wanting to write, wanting to spend time on more important and lasting things, and with the Video iPod I was just adding more to my distractions. Hell, that said, the reality was that even just maintaining the music collection was itself a distraction. I mean come on, i had EVERYTHING ever release by the Rolling Stones, and I don't even like 1/2 of what's on their greatest hits!?! So why would I choose, consciously, to spend time on gathering and keeping stuff I don't care about or like?
SO with that, a realization became a resolution, one of the few i've ever really REALLY made, new years or not, I made a decision and commitment to myself to let go. I've since sold the iPod to my friend at cost, and instead, use a 1gb memory card in my Treo to function as a 'shuffle' player, putting more focus on the content and eliminating one more device I had to carry around. I've hacked away at my music library and reduced it by close to 1/2 it's previous size, down to a collection of stuff I actually care about having on hand to listening to. I've let go of the need to have 'complete albums' of everything. I'll continue to look for and try out new music, as it's how i'll find new favorites, but what i choose to hold on to will have to be something i'll still be listening too in the years ahead. I'm sure i'll 'return to the fray' of the millions of iPod owners at some point. in the mean time, I hope the time i don't spend managing the details is spent increasing my work skills and enjoying my home life.
In the late 1990's, A contractor by the name of Isaac Finger joined our team at Apple. He brought some brilliant FileMaker Pro skills, a good sense of humor, and a fresh young take on technology. During his stay, he brought a burgeoning underground technology to my attention. "It's the future," he said, "10 years from mow it'll be how everybody listens to music" he'd swear. I found it intriguing, found it an amazing thought to consider that the entire Beatles catalog might fit on a single data CD, but discounted the concept of it being the next evolution in media distribution. How could this have the mass appeal of CD's when you'd be tied to a computer system in order to enjoy them? "HA" I'd retort... "never gonna happen" I'd mutter. Yet slowly, and surely, it happened in a big way, and only now can I look back with lucid eyes and a clear head to recognize the man as the cyber-pusher who gave me my first taste of what would become an obsession.
Creative writing aside, I have always, as far back as I can remember, been obsessed with music. I even DJ's weddings for several years. At one time my CD collection filled and overflowed a wall crammed with ~300-400 CDs. And when the need for a CD burner entered our workplace, where I was responsible for burning data backups, I spent nights and weekends learning how to extract Audio CDs to 'AIFF' files and press them back onto my own collection CDs. The process was laborious and fraught with pitfalls of limited hard drive space and transfer speeds. Still, as a modest piece of trivia, if you were to peruse the archived CD collection of CPU Software bundle builds for Apple, one of the first ever pressed will play 'Brand New Caddilac' is inserted into an Audio CD player. (These were internal backups, not shipping to customers, so hopefully, I won't find my office flanked by dark-suited ambassador's of Apple Legal when I arrive to work next week.)
With the gradual onset of improvements and a gift of a portable CD/MP3 player combo at Christmas, I started working on the conversion and replacement of my CD collection with MP3s. Shortly after getting the CD player, i recognized it's limitations, purchase of a portable MP3 player called the Archos Jukebox, and shelved the other (only to have it resurface this year and find a functional place in our kids playroom with a specific Kids Music collection MP3 CD pressed as a test of the 'music soothes the savage beast' adage. Oh, and it's a lie).
Fast fwd to a time when i've pretty much narrowed physical CD ownership down to a scant set of essential favorites that I want to always have 'master quality' access to, to a time when i've gone through a wide range of methods to enable access to music at home via TiVo's built in streaming support, line-in of my iPod audio to the home stereo, and the 'AirTunes' feature of an AirPort Express. In addition, thanks to some nameless resources, i've consistently managed to find a vast pool of material to add to my already burgeoning collection of audio material. I have surpassed 122 gigabytes of files, or for the layman in the crowd (the one that still shops at Tower Records) that's well over 25,000 songs, over 3 months of 24x7 music with nothing being played twice.
So you'd think that'd be enough, right? For most, perhaps, but for us obsessive/compulsive types, all it takes is something new to spark another flame before the embers cool... and this time, it was the Video iPod.
I paced around the purchase of the new Video iPod for quite awhile. I'd end up at the company store on campus weekly, stopping first at the iPod Video display. I'd hold it, envy it, envision owning it, and put it down. Deep down I think i knew it'd only mean trouble. I think i knew i''d be opening a Pandora's Music-Box of sorts, into which whatever little free time and attention i have would be sucked without a moments notice. The angel on one shoulder tried to remind me of the family, finances and time i'd already sunk into music alone, while the devil on the other shoulder simply echoed, repeatedly, the mantra that so easily wore me down... "Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness... Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness... Newer, Lighter, Video, Coolness...".
As the end of the year came upon me, my 'once-a-year employee discount' was rapidly racing towards a cliff off of which it'd plummet, burst into flames, and in my own delusional rationalizations, take out innocent women and children on the way if I didn't step up to the plate and prevent it from reaching it's edge. I figured that by selling my current iPod on eBay would probably net me enough to cover the costs of the 30gig model. And so I headed down that path, sold it for about the cost of the 30gig, but somehow there was a snafu at the register, and I'd unknowingly purchased the higher end and higher priced 60gig model! I was aghast! Surely there was some mistake. Worse, i'd already opened it, too, preventing me from returning it to correct the heinous error. ...I rehearsed these and other excuses with the devil on my shoulder snickered while I worked my way to the counter, purchased the top of the line model, and gleefully went back about my business.
Only now, there was a void crying out to be filled. Sure, my music collection had reach an obscene size, but i had little on hand to utilize, let alone show off the cool new support for Video. I immediately began to fill my nights and weekends with searches for sites and tools used to take DVDs and convert them, and to find online sources for more content as well. I found them all, lots of them, all of which required time themselves to learn, try, tweak, etc. I was starting to queue up downloads of media overnight, fret over converting DVDs during the day, distracted constantly by the desire to multitask, master the domain and compile collections of, of... of.... of stuff I already had or would not really watch.
2005 was a VERY long year. We moved all the way to the Sacramento area in January and back again in October. We moved the kids 4 times in 12 months. FOUR! I've started a wonderful new job with a steep learning curve, doing something I love and love the idea of learning and doing more. I have a wonderful wife, two adorable kids, and more things to deal with on a daily bases just to stay current with the demands of day to day living, without the ongoing distractions of keeping my music library growing, let along starting a new fork in the road down which all that might lie is the ability to watch a DVD or TV show on a tiny little screen instead of my computer or TV itself. And moreover, the ROI question comes into play; i've been wanting to write, wanting to spend time on more important and lasting things, and with the Video iPod I was just adding more to my distractions. Hell, that said, the reality was that even just maintaining the music collection was itself a distraction. I mean come on, i had EVERYTHING ever release by the Rolling Stones, and I don't even like 1/2 of what's on their greatest hits!?! So why would I choose, consciously, to spend time on gathering and keeping stuff I don't care about or like?
SO with that, a realization became a resolution, one of the few i've ever really REALLY made, new years or not, I made a decision and commitment to myself to let go. I've since sold the iPod to my friend at cost, and instead, use a 1gb memory card in my Treo to function as a 'shuffle' player, putting more focus on the content and eliminating one more device I had to carry around. I've hacked away at my music library and reduced it by close to 1/2 it's previous size, down to a collection of stuff I actually care about having on hand to listening to. I've let go of the need to have 'complete albums' of everything. I'll continue to look for and try out new music, as it's how i'll find new favorites, but what i choose to hold on to will have to be something i'll still be listening too in the years ahead. I'm sure i'll 'return to the fray' of the millions of iPod owners at some point. in the mean time, I hope the time i don't spend managing the details is spent increasing my work skills and enjoying my home life.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Shed a Little Light
Let us turn our thoughts today To Martin Luther King, and recognize that there are ties between us, all men and women, living on the earth. Ties of hope and love, sister and brotherhood. That we are bound togetherin our desire to see the world become a place in which our children can grow free and strong. We are bound together by the task that stands before us, and the road that lies ahead. We are bound, and we are bound.
- James Taylor : Shed a Little Light
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Peanut Clusters and Almond Roca
January 5th has a special meaning to me, as it marks the birthday of one of the principal influences in my life. I was relatively oblivious to it at the time, subconsciously absorbing and integrating characteristics, while most likely swearing I'd never be like him. He was a software engineer with a strong interested in databases, a fan of science fiction, a humorous man with a penchant for use, and abuse, of puns. He was also interested in the world of music, stereo equipment, and all things related to the advancement of techno-gadgets. Sound familiar? He'd be 72 today had he not passed away at the age of 54. His name was Alan. My father.
There's a thread in my writing, as well as my daily life, that is tied to my upbringing and my father. If you asked me to reflect on the biggest regrets in my life, not having the opportunity to talk to him now would be near or at the top of the list. When your father passes away and you're in the self-absorbed mid-twenties of your life, you're not able to fully relate to the significance of their passing let alone the scope of what being an adult and a parent can encompass. At least that was the case for me.
In 1999, when I'd attempted to start journaling on my website long before the term 'blog' existed, I wrote about him, and I have resurrected that post here. What's striking is to look back and realize that it was written the week of the 10yr anniversary of his death, yet I don't recall having that in mind at the time. In addition, I solicited and received a wide range of feedback a few years ago from co-workers at Tandem. I compiled them and emailed it to my brother and his children. The fruit of that labor was to later learn that the selection my niece Lindsey made for a school assignment to write about somebody in history she'd most like to meet was him. Talk about a rewarding moment.
Slippers and ties never really caught on as the present of choice each year, when as children, we'd try to find some gift he'd like. But over the years two things grew to become not only surefire success but almost tradition. Although time did not allow me to do so today, I still try every year to indulge on his behalf. I can still hear the bag rattling and the foil unwrapping as the day would be spent snacking on Peanut Clusters and Almond Roca.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
There's a thread in my writing, as well as my daily life, that is tied to my upbringing and my father. If you asked me to reflect on the biggest regrets in my life, not having the opportunity to talk to him now would be near or at the top of the list. When your father passes away and you're in the self-absorbed mid-twenties of your life, you're not able to fully relate to the significance of their passing let alone the scope of what being an adult and a parent can encompass. At least that was the case for me.
In 1999, when I'd attempted to start journaling on my website long before the term 'blog' existed, I wrote about him, and I have resurrected that post here. What's striking is to look back and realize that it was written the week of the 10yr anniversary of his death, yet I don't recall having that in mind at the time. In addition, I solicited and received a wide range of feedback a few years ago from co-workers at Tandem. I compiled them and emailed it to my brother and his children. The fruit of that labor was to later learn that the selection my niece Lindsey made for a school assignment to write about somebody in history she'd most like to meet was him. Talk about a rewarding moment.
Slippers and ties never really caught on as the present of choice each year, when as children, we'd try to find some gift he'd like. But over the years two things grew to become not only surefire success but almost tradition. Although time did not allow me to do so today, I still try every year to indulge on his behalf. I can still hear the bag rattling and the foil unwrapping as the day would be spent snacking on Peanut Clusters and Almond Roca.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
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