Highlights: I met Laura, Mark's sister visiting from Washington, with Jen and Wendy. Tommy joined briefly later in the evening after dinner. I helped Tommy with his tax filing. I spent a couple of hours meeting with Nenzen, Sokyo, and Shoho @ Jikoji. It was a productive visit in all aspects.


It rained sporadically all night. I know this not because I checked the weather for the last ten hours but because our bedroom window was open, affording me a disturbingly soothing disruption of sleep due to the rhythm of raindrops hitting the furniture cover on the wicker loveseat directly outside the window. It sounded at first like a single kitten walking cautiously across a sheet of plastic wrap, then quickly increased in tempo and volume to sound more like a horse race on a muddy and tarp-covered track. Scattered clouds covered the sky during my early morning walk to Leigh, making the journey all the more rewarding. Although I do this to significantly reduce the cost of charging our car at home, where the lowest rates there remain higher than all other available options, it's also a gift to myself. 
I get up and out early and take in the beauty of the morning sunrise. There's something dramatically theatrical about the moving reflections upon wet asphalt as an occasional car drives through and dispurses the puddles, the occupants likely focusing on a destination and not the path and surroundings, which serves to enhance my awareness and gratitude for the opportunity to experience it from another point of view.

Highlights: Jen's breakfast casserole, a trip to the US Food Store, Mexican stew, and helping Tommy pick up a free desk ($1k value). 

Insights: I am not sure why I continue this journal. Well, I do know why, very genuinely, yet at times, it's seemingly self-indulgent. One of the "tenants" of The Art of Writing is doing this exercise: practicing, hopefully finding growth while doing so and honing your voice. Yet this is public, and I don't know who reads it. I'm likely being judged. But if I publish this book, oh, boy, I better get used to it. And as a piece, I'm working on calls out; I'm no better at my best or worse at my worst than anyone else. I'm just likely more transparent about it.

What has it been, 14 hours? 15? The functional and lucid part of 24 hours spent in motion or in action, mental and physical. The remainder is spent in recovery. Only one might question if sleeping and resting hours are a form of recovery for the mind. I would say yes, they are. The pause in thought is welcome. Unlike Jennifer, I do not have routine nightmares, yet unlike her, I also do not sleep in. But we have been over this already. Highlights for the day include a pleasant morning with Jennifer discussing goals and routines we want to focus on during the weekdays and weekends. Tommy swapped desks with the guestroom to return to one room for his study needs, and now we can reclaim the guest room for other needs. I moved the second set of patio seating around within the rectangle to see if I could optimize things for mornings. I also hope to get my hands on the pallets from the Jafari remodel crew and use them to prototype my decking concepts.

Timor Heritage Reserve. I ordered it because the flavor profiles were in the realm of my ideal. Stone fruit. Floral. Honey. Barley. These are what I am tasting. This hits the spot. The spot, of course, being the burgundy chairs, both in color and origin, at the window, after a brief walk about the yard gathering canine land mines along with a short test of the corner seating view. The warmth of the coffee and interior pair well back inside, though. I continue to feel optimistic about the modest progress of the past week and the potential within the next to come. Yet, stunted, too. Stalled. Diluted, perhaps, as well.Time and effort remain a wide spray when a jet stream is in order. I recognize a factor that remains within an ingrained obsession with multitasking. I can't, for example, go for a walk or devote 30 minutes to the elliptical. I also need to listen to a podcast or start a roasting round or a load of laundry. (which I just stopped to start! See how it works?) decades of reinventinig, re-engineering, refining and reducing, automating or streamlining for a living is a challenge to release. Being and doing don't mix well. Not everything needs to occur in parallel. Some things warrant my full attention.

Setting up for 7AM coffee required 30 minutes of prep time when factoring in the dogs, the covers, the coffee cups and such. I just got things in order as the two arrived on bikes and we chatted for well over an hour over fresh brew and flames. The weather was ideal. It makes me want to get that raised deck in place. It would be an ideal setup. The India Cherry Reserva roast came out wonderful, too. I heard positive news re Jikoji payments starting in April. Now if the other efforts pan out I will be feeling all the more optimistic. I ordered two "HYC" mugs after refining the logo to be less busy. Hiked Heinz Open Space. First time ever. Loved it! Jen had dinner with a friend while I worked on learning some of the ins and outs of business options.

Removing is apparently SO much harder than it looks

Highlights: Morning writing. Breakfast with Tommy at Uptown LG Cafe. I synced up with Frank and got some sage advice on balancing revenue and ideals. I took steps this week with Jikoji, fired off a resume for a PT gig within walking distance, and dropped an app at The Stanford as well. I wrote a review for Clean Crawlspace based on their recent efforts to make good on a referral recognition delay. I took the gift basket AND the 3 cheeses from Divine to my mom's and feasted. I called Jeri after learning of her clearly hereditary neck issues and surgery I've been contemplating for later this year. In the exact same positions. In the spine, that is, not on the operating table.

Defining Moments

An unfinished excerpt from a work in progress…

So many moments, rooted deeply in association, pepper the path to a horizon that stretches beyond our visual perception, beyond our limited awareness, to the point where their creation is born of pure thought. These associations, these triggers, come to me daily.

They appear in the form of music, "American Top 40" episodes, a "favorites playlist," and random encounters with elevators or passing cars. Lyrically and sonically, they represent the soundtrack of my life. The vinyl albums I so passionately sought and bought over the course of the year following Linda's death. The reason for doing so later being recognized as a mid-life crisis blended into a coping mechanism, a means of grasping at and desperately clinging not only to my past but to my present now. In her absence, as my life moves forward without while still influenced by her and all that was left behind, inseparable matter and thought.

Going to Aqui last night backfired. I did not do well with the food choices. Thus, the use of the last word in the first sentence. I was up a few times, yet seated each. Crazy. So, my morning started rough, but It balanced out nicely. I sent Jikoji a proposal regarding options to migrate to a very minimal part-time role starting in April. Two new coffees I ordered were roasted and will be brewed soon. They hit the same moisture loss with the same profile and are both promising. Our neighbor Francine had the tree crew we used back out to trim her larger ones. I appreciate that, given how high winds took one of the larger branches down a few years back, taking out the fence and power for several days. Thank you, good neighbor! I suppose I should consider the pine tree being cut back. Although I wasn't initially keen on going to Devine to pick up our "cheese club" package, once there, we settled in and enjoyed a date night together. The cheesemonger board was well paired, and the "west-west" blue cheese was poetically pungent. Closing the evening with Diana Krall playing in the background had a cathartic impact. I have felt somewhat off for a few days, and there have been plenty of distractions. Staying centered and balanced has been overlooked. Between endless checklists and competing priorities, relishing the quiet moments to their fullest clears a path.

Taking accessibility to a new level ;-)

Highlights: "Howes Your Coffee" with Kelly and surprise guest Olivia. Adam's pickup and drop-off at the DMV. Taxes (1st pass) done. A slew of "board" tasks checked off as complete. Aqui dinner. Firepit.

Highlights: I had an interesting call with Stanford regarding DDX41, its hereditary implications, and the upcoming testing. The kitchen guy came to measure and discuss our needs, and he will return with some initial feedback and estimates. Throughout the day, I focused primarily on a few time-sensitive needs. Playing cards with the usual crew was fun. We played on the patio because the weather was lovely at 80°. Tomorrow will be similar, but then we plunge back into the 60s for a while. I already dread what summer will be like.

The Sunday program was a good use of time. It had been quite a while since my last attendance, and it was a reassuring validation of the benefits I received by doing so. It made me want to start doing so more often. I typically avoid the weekend due to my utter distrain for the motorcycles and muscle cars that call Hwy 9 their private racetrack. However, the early arrival reduced the incidents to only the drive back down. Only on this particular drive down I came upon a car and driver on the side of the road. He had somehow plowed into the right side of the road, destroying his car's front right tire. He barely spoke any English. 
I stopped to see what I could do to help and ended up giving him a ride down to town after first lining up some tree limbs and branches to help people coming down the road to be aware of and avoid his vehicle. When I had network access, I could use the translation application on my iPhone to improve communication. His car reeked of marijuana, as did he, and I can't help but assume it might've been a factor, but whatever the case, I was happy to help a fellow human being and check off "do good for others." Back home, I got the cold shoulder from Tommy and let it go, having reached a point of not caring to chase after his engagement. Jen made a wonderful flat­bread BBQ chicken pizza for her and I. Tommy came home, and we all had a long talk and agreed that moving out would be the best for all of us. I want it to be a healthy choice and decision. I think part of it is a bluff on his part, but the baggage between us has a greater chance of resolving with distance and not ongoing daily engagement and presence. We will see what plays out in the days ahead.

Mindset: Transitional and Transactional. A question crossed my path this week that hit a nerve and has been on my mind. I think I know the answer, but I am apprehensive to admit it. The question came in the form of a James Clear newsletter prompt. "What in your life is a distraction disguised as a priority?" Hmmm. It's caused me to start to mentally review and sequence the tasks and routines in my life with moderate skepticism. Given a year to live, what would I abandon on day one, and what would I focus intently on until I could not do so? How am I approaching relationships? What am I spending time on that takes away from the things I want most to accomplish? And how can I further break from the widespread distractions of tech­nology on my attention? I have ideas. I have suspicions. I must come to a few conclusions and reorient my rudder and sail. Course corrections are routine but can be dramatic when you fail to have the destination consistently on the horizon, drifting instead with the currents and winds you would otherwise navigate.

Highlights: Where to start? At the beginning, I suppose, which was the usual 6:30 AM canine nudging. This time, though, I vowed to return to bed. I did, but to no avail. Sleep was over for the moment. I took my seat at the window, read and briefly wrote, and mapped out the priorities for the day. Here it is, the end of a day during which I recognized many accomplishments and noteworthy observations. Yet, all that comes to mind is watching Lucky wrestling to track a pair of squirrels rapidly scrambling back and forth between two trees for several minutes. It was hilarious and thrilling. And a great moment of perspective, too, as to the 'little moments.' None of this is news, but I like to stay aware of such things. There are so many that come and go without being noticed. Lucy and Abbey left their yard this evening as Tommy was leaving, so he called and told us. Jen and I corraled them back in to find that the gate wasn't locking and must have blown open. I tried to reach Tom, but he and Danice were gone then, and his number was no longer in service. I contacted the neighborhood group thread reporting the incident and asked if anybody had Tom's correct number. Moments later, Tommy texted that Clara contacted him, and they got out again. I returned to find them still there, but I secured things further. When I returned, the group chat had been active, including Clara sharing that she'd sent Tom the info, only to report a moment later in a follow-up that it was Tommy she contacted, not Tom! SMH. You can't make this stuff up. I drove down the street a while later, just as they'd returned. How timely. I stopped and shared the details so he understood who tie-wrapped his side gate shut. I spent some time on the patio, immensely enjoying the space and pleasant weather. I took the time to dig out and re-seat the walkway divider that was poorly installed by me the first time to a much-improved end. I used the momentum to do the same with the other side that had never been put in place. That led to blowing leaves, which clearly out the decade or so of built-up dirt under the lavender bush and trimming that too. I was on a roll and enjoyed it, along with a viscerally inspiring podcast episode on stoicism and goals that are helping me to recognize some patterns that need to be changed or adopted. I'll be re-listening again tomorrow as I work on the wedding. I contacted the Kirkwood Hospital regarding Tommy's bill going through insurance, and also reached out to the insurance company. I've ensured I have the right process and steps to aggressively filing cliams and reporting out of pocket expenses. The whole insurance industry is corrupt and designed to make it as difficult and time consuming as possible to get the beneifts you deserve. It makes me want to leave the US. Many things do.

Three Years Passed

It's been three years since Linda died, to that day. So much has transpired in what seems like such a short time. This was on my mind last night. I intended to stop by Madronia en route to or from Jikoji today. However, the day's delays and distractions ended up sidelining not only my plans but also my focus and intentions. Is this how memories fade?

Paper. Classic. As one might expect.

It was 4:27 AM when I woke up and struggled to return to sleep. Even with all the meditation I've done throughout the past few years, it continues to be the case that stilling my thoughts is difficult. I stayed in bed and reflected on the night: the drama and my own contained fear. As I had been routinely until recently, I reflected on the gift of waking another day and whatever it might bring. Doing so came about after my first experience of deeply contemplating nature and mortality in Colorado. I eventually drifted back to sleep until the dogs stirred. I let Jen attend to them this time, giving myself time to linger in bed. I felt better but still a bit off. I opted to take it relatively easy for the day. The house was empty, clean, and pleasant to enjoy, and it was without many interruptions.  I had a good call with Lauren. Coffee was roasted, and a new order of beans was en route. I got a routine walk in. We visited my mom and saw "Design for Living (1933). It was a new one for Jen and me. It was delightful. Tommy returned from Tahoe, seeming warn and irritable.

Passing Out

"This baby goes 102 to 52 in under 60!"

I wasn't feeling well; A wave of nausea and lightheadedness began to sweep over me. I was literally thinking about Wendy's story about how her friend had a heart attack, how sudden it was, and how their ER experience included a stent being put in while he watched on camera, conscious. Amazing. I was considering how hard it would be to have my own day sidelined in such a dramatic manner, let alone to die like that. All this was on my mind as I started to slur the words, "That would be an awful way to go" as I slumped back in my chair, and blacked out.

Passing Judgement

I have a love of a handful of people whom I believe accept me somewhat unconditionally as if it's truly possible to achieve and receive completely unconditional acceptance. Everyone has boundaries and limitations. To some degree, we all look at others with a critical eye toward some aspect of their character or behavior that could be improved upon. According to us, that is. And our idea of how things should be.

Passing Thought – Audio Etiquette

Before and during the time my mom's chemo treatments are under way, I wait in a large open room surrounded by people incapable of going 5 minutes without staring at their devices. That's understandable, they've replaced newspapers, books and magazines as ways to optimize the time. I'm guilty of doing the same. What I don't do, however, is ever assume that others waiting are interested in hearing the audio content of whatever I'm watching or listening to. I was raised to respect shared spaces, to talk softly, and to be polite and civil. Seldom is my time spent waiting free from the annoyance of personal phone-calls, annoying music, or the rapid-fire cackling and commentary of random shorts videos in various languages. None of these people seem to know or care about their disruption to others. It's offensive. I would be praised and admonished in unison if I asked that they lower their voices or volume. Instead, also being taught not to be confrontational, I am forced to put in noise cancelling headphones and sit in an alternate spot.

I had an awful night for multiple reasons, which resulted in starting the day off in the foulest of moods. Scottie was taking up space and moving occasionally, which always raises my concerns about him jumping off the bed. Jen had a coughing fit of sorts. Once again, as has been the case for several days, a one-time techno 'chirp' woke me around 4:30 AM. I felt taken for granted by Tommy because of his continued assertion of stress over money, as if it's all to prepare me for his wanting some. It echoes his mom in a very PTSD-like way for me. I also felt annoyed that even though I'm not working, I still fund my share of the home expenses. Unlike how Linda was with me, we're not living off of Jen's salary, but it's portrayed as otherwise at times, leading me to feel obligated to do 'more' of the housekeeping because I'm not working. But that takes time away from what I want to accomplish with the time I have – writing and ramping up the EOL business. I probably got about three hours of sleep in total and felt it when I got up, but I had to get the car before seven and was meeting Mark for "Howes" right afterward. It was helpful to have a chance to vent a bit and decompress. I was thrilled to hear that he started "Tex" and is enjoying it greatly. Once back, I apologized to Jen for being cranky and set about 'cranking' on a slew of things I wanted to get done. Mostly household tasks, true, but less about dishes and laundry and more about substantial undertakings. I used the elliptical while roasting coffee and learned a valuable lesson about the sensitivity of the off button. I took apart and fixed the tension mechanism while also tightening things up to eliminate the random squeaks. I spent 15 minutes on it and will continue working up to 30 by the end of the week. I also put away the Christmas gear, which lingered because I'm not supposed to be lifting, but it had to be done. Same with all of Tommy's snow gear. That's up in the rafters until next season. I even deep cleaned the BBQ grill and reinforced the covers on the patio furniture for the rain starting tomorrow. The bylaws are complete, and the liability waiver on reservations is now in place. I wrestled with some shortcut revisions tied to my daily moments of zen, and I have more to do later. It's great to have them working again. Our "Cardzmania" game was fun, as was telling Steve about how Mark's enjoying his book. All in all, it was quite a productive day, yet my irritation remained a background presence. I'm also setting and forgetting my AirPods and phone WAY too often, which is both frustrating and concerning. My inability to manage interruptions without losing my place has seemed to dramatically increase over the past few years, as has the time it takes to find my way back to wherever I was. I'm not proud of these shortcomings and failings, but I'm trying to be honest about them and work through them.

They're certain that pressing and holding makes it arrive faster.

While I succeeded in attending to and tackling the key priorities I set forth at the day's beginning, I failed miserably at preventing their weight from bringing me down. It was challenging not to feel like I was walking up the down escalator. I kept focused on maintaining my pace and eventually reached the top. But not without seemingly pointless mutterings of anger and expletive laden frustrations. Speaking of pace, although I see a few needs for some minor maintenance, the brief time I spent just getting used to the elliptical left me feeling, for the remainder of the day, slightly optimistic about what seemed to be less of the usual routine hip pain. Could a simple daily effort to get moderate exercise help prevent the sedentary lifestyle's effects on an aging body? Who knew? Between the board meeting and time at the cancer treatment center, I started working to whittle distractions. Deleting apps, purging tracking of legacy devices and people I don't have any reason to stalk, optimizing my watch settings for podcasts and health details, and tinkering with releasing my hold on many things that are more distracting than beneficial to my personal priorities. The more I do, the more I recognize how completely "owned" I am by technology and how distracting it's been and still continues to be. Not everything needs to be instant or automated. Some aspects of life, even something as simple as a daily walk or a duration of time spent working to increase my heart rate, don't warrant tracking every detail, sharing it, or reporting on it. I was reflecting today on my recent solo walk through Vasona and how I'd run a 10k course several times a week in the 80's, not caring at all about anything other than the distance and time, and not so much about the latter. As I age, having my 'vitals' dynamically fed to my primary care team via my watch feels wise, but Apple Fitness badges…? I don't need no stinking badges.

Mindset: A benign sense of resolve with accepting the cluttered chaos of unorganized and unprioritized tasks. Today's already stacked with two 'non-negotiables having significant time demands (Board Meeting, Mom's appointments at Stanford) and littered with a broad range of ASAPs. (ByLaws, financials, taxes, laundry…). I'm having to let a lot of other needs and aspirations slide (yard-work & poop patrol, prep for rains, writing) while defending a renewed focus on making time to exercise, health (mental and physical) a priority. Then there's being available to others needing my help, knowledge and/or skills. That last one is the biggest challenge, as my tendency is to want to help while resenting it being an expectation that I do. One I've established through prior actions. Hey, this sword cuts both ways!

Goals: Participate in the board meeting without taking on anything more than I already have. Review and refine budget related needs for Tommy. Reduce the bylaws to the most general itteration possible while allowing flexibility in roles, responsiblities and time/duration commits to be managed within independent job descriptions and contracts. Gracefully manage the most recent 'hot topic' with regards to a lineage holder. And beyond all of that, re-prioritize all the other items without allowing their weight to bring me down.

Highlights: Pressing myself out of the house, into the car and out to Boulder Creek to pick up an elliptical. What a phenomenal drive. What a way to start the day, being reminded that life needs to be lived with a balance between experience and creation. Returning to have Lucky sheepishly exit the room upon my arrival only to find that the bag of cashews left by Tommy on the table behind the sofa was no longer there. The empty bag was then found in the back yard, intact, yet turned completely inside out. Taking Scottie and Jen for a walk through Vasona after Jen returned from her trip. Lucky is too distracting and Scottie's aging and needs some focused time. He was of course pulling to return to the car out of fear for 2/3 of the time, yet distracted enough to reclaim some youthful vigor and chase a swan or run about on the paths and grass. We share that effect at this particular park's history in my vast past experiences. A couple of hours on the patio with Jen, the dogs, and a few aggressively present hummingbirds. An impromptu invitation for the three of us to the Marionis' for dinner with the three of them. Great Keto meal, conversation, laughter, and brainstorming of how to thwart the Stratford parents' driving dilemma.

I have written a lot more than I have posted. I don't remember when my last post might have been, but I have other efforts in various stages, yet nothing "live." Why is that? What's getting in my way? It's complicated. It's a minor but repetitive series of steps between writing it and having it live. Sending, scrubbing, adding a photo, blah blah blah. Or I simply stop at 80% and never (seldom) return for the final 20. Isn't that a common occurrence? Across the board, I'm always 80° into something in one hand and 20% into the next. As I live through all my experiences, I end up not stopping to capture them all. Today was a good, complete and rewarding day. What a difference a day makes.words to live by. Upset over Jen's absence, Scottie has been sulking and being in his crate. He seems to like it and was there all night last night. I slept deeply and well. So deeply that I missed a 12:48am call from Lauren to tell me she would pay for her emergency room visit. Or maybe at that moment, it was in search of insurance details. But she did have an accident on her scooter due to a small rock bringing it to a sudden stop. My heart sank slightly as it returned to the vivid memory of a childhood faceplant at Pine Mountain Lake I had witnessed in slow motion. She said when we talked this morning that after Tommy's ski accident, she thought, "That means I 'm next." And boom! she was. The worst part sounds like the puffy eye. They have their young adult life experiences now, as I had my own long ago, and I have to watch and accept the loss of control I never had in the first place. This chat was after returning from my walk and coffee. The pylons are out, but so is the jury on their effectiveness. The weekly meeting was good. Really good. Productive. My call with Dr Goyal, my new PCP at Stanford, went very well. I feel reminded and inspired to return to a cardio routine like I had and maintained as far back as I can remember. Sporadically. It's time to start a new habit - Cardio & strength training. I am going to get an elliptical and make it a daily routine. I went hiking with Mark to "The Plateau" off of overlook. It was epic and jaw-dropping. I sous-vided a 2. 5lb pork to perfection. Tommy removed the nerve blockers this morning and was gone all day. He shared in the evening how many places he went and how the knee-based mono-cruth was practical and helpful. It was a very well-lived day, spent with awareness and gratitude for not just the day but all of these before it.

Highlights: My walk to pickup Tesla included a diversion down Howe. Pylons lined both sides of the street. It's an epic way to attend to the daily traffic issues by *some* neighbors. I can't imagine who! Tommy managed to land a surgical appoint­ment for tomorrow. Early. I'll be up at 3:45 to take him. I have everything lined up to make it as effortless as possible. I even threw a pillow in the car so I have the option to get some sleep once he's checked in. We'll see how it all goes. Having the temporary freedom to manage this without juggling a full-time position is helpful. I managed to get some of my own appointment needs met today re follow up on genetic testing for AML. Jen and I took Tommy to Namaste for dinner, where we gorged on exceptional Indian cuisine. It also allowed us both to emphasize that we consider it good to be able and available to help him through this situation. Oh, and late last night, Jen shared a video post I listened to on my walk. It was about how being born into a challenging family situation can be a positive learning experience. About following your gut and not blaming others for not being anything other than who they simply are. Faults and failures are subjective observations, and inherently biased. It seemed to resonate with her and her own view of her parents, as it did for me and my own, and as a parent to others.

Passing Thought - IndiviDuality

Duality is half of "Individuality"

Highlights: I have a few days to reflect on, yet only one highlight matters. It's not the productive time I spent at Jikoji Friday morning actively participating as a community member and board member. It's not finally resolving the Wi-Fi issues with a complete reset of the primary base station. Or meeting with Frank and contacting Peggy. Or Jen's overnight stay at Christie's after a lot of wine. What stands out dramatically for me was getting a call from Tommy while at Kirkwood reporting having injured his ankle and likely needing to go to a hospital. I am being honest here, and I am not proud of it, but my initial reaction was a flood of anxiety and resentment, even at the possible scenarios that might play out. How do I get him, where do I take him, how bad may it be, and how would this inconvenience me? I was trying unsuccessfully to find his insurance information, which he should have had. It was so selfish, really, and as non-zen and unenlightened of a response to have. I wrestled with it all, knowing it was a poor, shortsighted response, yet it was all so triggering. Mainly because of the sort of responsibility I felt throughout my first marriage to run ahead and prevent such things from happening. I also felt that my efforts to impart caution and proactive behaviors along the same lines of self-responsibility were never entertained or embraced. They were dismissed and discounted. Yet this moment, this situation, gave me a chance to look again and see him differently. He did get hurt, badly. And he called because I'm his father, family, and the first place I would want him to go. It's what I would have done. He had help there, friends there, and this was a significant moment. He wasn't reaching out for me to fix anything, he was calling so I was aware. That's a gift. Why I default to annoyance of any kind is absurd. I'm the one always calling chaos and need the richest reward of like. Ten helped as a sounding board, and I quickly reset how I moved forward. With gratitude. The onsite medical team helped at the outset, including a painful boot removal. Tommy then realized it would be best to go to Stanford. Stephen drove Tommy's Tesla down with Tommy in the passenger seat. Mark and I had plans to go to "Laser Zeppelin" at the planetarium and he arrived at Stanford around the same time the show would end. We went up and took turns going to check on him, and then I took Mark home and returned to Stanford. I told Tommy repeatedly how glad I was to be there. We talked about assorted things while he got things settled and stabilized. The swelling was such that surgery, which would be required, had to happen after a day or two. We left around 3am, and I spent the day doing all I could, all we could, to help support his recovery and to navigate adapting to an injury of this significance. I am grateful that it was not worse, and that he handled it all with grace and responsibility. This will be an event that will be remembered for the way it will shape it. And I got to be a part of it. He's riding out the pain while awaiting surgery later this week once the swelling subsides. This was a significant experience in his life and he handled it so well. I also got to/had to bring a level of awareness and gratitude into my response to it all, which was both a challenge and rewarding.