I had an awful night for multiple reasons, which resulted in starting the day off in the foulest of moods. Scottie was taking up space and moving occasionally, which always raises my concerns about him jumping off the bed. Jen had a coughing fit of sorts. Once again, as has been the case for several days, a one-time techno 'chirp' woke me around 4:30 AM. I felt taken for granted by Tommy because of his continued assertion of stress over money, as if it's all to prepare me for his wanting some. It echoes his mom in a very PTSD-like way for me. I also felt annoyed that even though I'm not working, I still fund my share of the home expenses. Unlike how Linda was with me, we're not living off of Jen's salary, but it's portrayed as otherwise at times, leading me to feel obligated to do 'more' of the housekeeping because I'm not working. But that takes time away from what I want to accomplish with the time I have – writing and ramping up the EOL business. I probably got about three hours of sleep in total and felt it when I got up, but I had to get the car before seven and was meeting Mark for "Howes" right afterward. It was helpful to have a chance to vent a bit and decompress. I was thrilled to hear that he started "Tex" and is enjoying it greatly. Once back, I apologized to Jen for being cranky and set about 'cranking' on a slew of things I wanted to get done. Mostly household tasks, true, but less about dishes and laundry and more about substantial undertakings. I used the elliptical while roasting coffee and learned a valuable lesson about the sensitivity of the off button. I took apart and fixed the tension mechanism while also tightening things up to eliminate the random squeaks. I spent 15 minutes on it and will continue working up to 30 by the end of the week. I also put away the Christmas gear, which lingered because I'm not supposed to be lifting, but it had to be done. Same with all of Tommy's snow gear. That's up in the rafters until next season. I even deep cleaned the BBQ grill and reinforced the covers on the patio furniture for the rain starting tomorrow. The bylaws are complete, and the liability waiver on reservations is now in place. I wrestled with some shortcut revisions tied to my daily moments of zen, and I have more to do later. It's great to have them working again. Our "Cardzmania" game was fun, as was telling Steve about how Mark's enjoying his book. All in all, it was quite a productive day, yet my irritation remained a background presence. I'm also setting and forgetting my AirPods and phone WAY too often, which is both frustrating and concerning. My inability to manage interruptions without losing my place has seemed to dramatically increase over the past few years, as has the time it takes to find my way back to wherever I was. I'm not proud of these shortcomings and failings, but I'm trying to be honest about them and work through them.
