Firepit 1... Junebug 0   |   Fresh Banana Muffin with Butter

Highlights: Sunday "sleep-in" (7.30). Tommy made breakfast (eggs, and sausage for us). I finally cleared all the excess dirt from the side alley and backyard square just before it rained for all of 5 minutes. Jen/Lauren/I went shopping. Tommy detailed his car and then went to Fisherman's Grotto with Luca. He returned with Chowder of course. Jen made Lasagna, and she/Lauren played Farkle while I went time-warping with full albums (Toto's 1st, Alan Parson's "Eve", The Cars "Candy-O", Donald Fagen's "The Nightfly", and others). Got focused on work tasks – reinvigorating weekly status setup, implemented mandatory Due Date/Estimates in Jira workflow. Going to use the remainder of the day to read and write as I resume working through a backlog of outlines.

Managed to get up early even though it was Saturday. Simply to keep a cadence. Sunday is my day of rest and no alarm. I started the day with an email confirming the completion of Linda's headstone along with a photo. It was a bit shocking to see a photo of the actual item. It's still hard to believe any of the past 1-2 years were real, or that I'm back in Pano, or that she is dead. None of it seems real at 6.30 am. But the headstone is shipping and will be there soon. I made breakfast sausage and eggs for us all. We walked the dog and headed to my mom's to meet Ryan and Lindsey and take on the task of removing the carpeting that's been there for 50 years. The wood flooring underneath is in great condition. Beyond two minor sections needing some TLC, the rest is ready for a buff and wax job. We got completely done within 2 hours, and we bought lunch for all. Tommy and Lindsey, and Ryan all took off, but Lauren wanted to keep going, and I agreed. So we did the same down the hall, which had a lot more detail work to manage due to 7 doors, thresholds, etc. But we got it all done! It looks great. It's also very rewarding to have put the actions behind the words and taken the time to make the efforts and get this languishing task done. We have to still remove wallpaper and paint and fear mounding installed, but it's underway, and we know she'll enjoy the home much more. Jen/I joined Jess and Bev and friends and family at their home for a casual backyard gathering to commentate Jess's 60th. It was great - good food, good wine, great friends and conversations and lots of laughter. As I said to Jen, it feels like we're really 'living' our lives to their fullest by spending time doing things like we've done today - time with family and friends and consciously present.

A knotted piece of vine creeping through our fence appears to be of Alien origin.

6 am wake time was a struggle, but I managed to make it work and arrived at Kaiser for my MRI just in time. Within 2-3 minutes max, after walking in and right up to the counter, the line was 4 deep and growing. Can somebody explain to me why a neck x-ray requires changing out of a t-shirt and cloth shorts in order to wear a hospital gown? Lame rote processes without logic are annoying. But the facility was nice, and the staff was pleasant, and the results were as expected – some "severe" herniations. I have a follow-up scheduled in a week to talk to their spine specialist. I returned in time to get my coffee and settle into the workday. It was an otherwise relatively subdued and eventless day.

I got up as intended. Finally. The moving of the phone made a big difference. And the night's sleep was horrible. I was up past 2 am, so I got about 4hrs max. Yet I managed not to return to the warm bed and instead start my day with the usual routines I was practicing before the move. It felt great. Scottie joined me on the patio, and after getting fed and walking Scottie, I had a lot more time before work. I tied back a few tree branches in the back and later trimmed some in the front. I like a clear path. I think a new routine will be staying on top of dog poop, so I put bags out there for my morning routines too. I had a hard day as far as being exhausted and in pain goes. I canceled GNO at my house once I realized I wasn't in good form, AND I got an MRI slot for 1st thing tomorrow morning in Santa Clara. I'll be up and out early, but I am eager to get updated spine images to understand the recent spike in issues better. My "52nd Street" LP arrived damaged and with postage due (because I believe the change of address, but who knows). The seller was prompt in resolving the issue. I made dinner for Jen before she and Lauren when clothes shopping. At the same time, I rested and played music through the HomePod, including 52nd street, while enjoying the experience of reading the lyrics and liner notes and the whole focused tactile experience that was how I experienced it all decades ago. I also tested an idea about refinishing the faded sections of the living room flooring with some initially optimistic results.

⚖️: 7d avg: 165.69| 👣: 6013 | ❤️: 56 | 🧘: 20:53

Cards And Letters

I believe I've referenced here, or elsewhere, what it was like to spend hours on end sifting repeatedly through Linda's belongings, trying to determine what should be kept for the kids and her legacy and what should not. Trying to make those decisions without her was a complicated process. It did expose me to some wonderful writing, historical experiences, and insights into her character. But the massive collection of boxes and boxes of cards and letters was perhaps only 20% "substance" and 80% filler. It caused me to wonder why I still have a box (only one, mind you) of my own filled with similar items that are just going to sit there until the day when my kids or Jennifer go through the same exercise I did with Linda's.

I decided several months ago to toss all of mine, and earlier this week, I threw a massive collection of my personal history into the recycle bin. Not more than 10 minutes later, I was digging it back out.

Highlights: I slept in again. I am finding it a challenge to be getting up at 6 am since our move. But that's part of the point of doing so… meeting that challenge. I've adjusted my alarm and plan on following through tomorrow morning. It was easier at Matson when my phone was charging in the bathroom when the alarm went off…. so I just moved the charger into the bathroom here at Panorama. I even put the effort into running the cord behind the sink to keep things looking clean—details matter. I also walked tonight with Jen and Lauren in an effort to get more daily steps. That's yet another thing that's taken a back seat since moving, and I am going to focus on getting that traction back. Things are settling nicely, but not fully, at Pano. There's still so much to do, and each evening I end up tackling one or another task. Tonight it was a run to my mom's to get the other two tables. If I'm going to do a full restoration, it'll take a lot more time, but for now, they're cleaned and oiled and look "good enough." The fact that there are burn marks from my father's cigarettes makes them all the more precious. Adding these adds another dimension to our room, and we're continuing to enjoy it fully. Tommy shared a strong desire/interest in pushing hard for two years of Jr College in an effort to get into a business degree through Berkeley. I told him as long as he maintained and fostered a respectful home and followed the simple mandates of clean, considerate AND counseling, he's got a place to stay while doing so. The counseling hasn't started, but this gave me a platform to revisit and emphasize following through. A few more LPs showed up and got played. That's another restoration project I'm looking forward to taking on.

⚖️: 7d avg: 165.83 | 👣: 8705 | ❤️: 61 | 🧘: 10:32

7:26 on 7/26 – nice catch, Lauren!

Highlights: A sleepless night due to ongoing neck issues, general restlessness and the dog in the way. I set up the "light alarm clock" now that the season is changing, and it's not as light in the am. It worked fine this morning. I was just so damned tired. I still languished in bed for another hour. Work went well. I had a good appointment with Denise and discussed the internal conflicts surrounding Linda's passing, my "ambivalent grief," and my need to practice "radical acceptance." It's hard balancing it all sometimes. Kathy called, and we chatted while working out the logistics for the trustee transfer to me. She sent the document, so it seems like it's all done. That relief will make managing their trust funds much easier for us. My call with Kaiser about the MRI for Stanford was frustrating; it felt like I would have to go through hoops and ladders to get it done. I ran a few errands with Lauren and got a huge fan for the garage, which I set up as an exhaust, and it worked wonderfully while I tackled the 1st past at getting all of my tools consolidated into the tool chest. It went well, and I'm on an excellent path to thin out a lot of duplicates and have a straightforward centralized source for tools vs. the scattered and limited mess it's been for a while. I do well with structure and organization. Tommy was impressed, and I told Denise he's been better. But I have to press on the sessions for him; he's evading still. Matt texted that the actor who played Wally Cleaver died and I replied that it's have been more fitting if he'd passed last month. He got the joke! I heard Karen yesterday that her father Helmut passed away at the age of 94. What a run. And he lived close to them throughout these past years too. Something to aspire to, for sure.

Sunday Highlights: Visiting my mom with Lauren and returning to Pano with the coffee table. Its meaning to me is nothing words do justice. To hear the click of the drawer latch takes me back to my childhood and all the times I'd crawl underneath it to hide or play through the ages into adulthood, where it housed so many artifacts and memories. I made the 1st pass, cleaned it, and applied some finish, but it's a far greater project ahead to give it the refinishing it needs. 50+ years of history have left their marks. I'm not sure how many of those marks I want to erase or retain. Jen's friend Cindy M came for breakfast and coffee and stayed through dinner. They went to task on the patio table, stripping the veneer and sanding and trying some painting and staining options. More work to come as they work out what the result will be. I'm just glad she did so and enjoyed her friend being there. Lauren made us an enchilada casserole for dinner. Monday was a busy work day. I spent the evening back in the garage after taking a hiatus. My neck issues continue, and I have a phone appointment tomorrow to coordinate an MRI. It's improving but ever-so-slightly. While working in the garage, I threw out a slew of all cards and letters, only to retrieve them later, sift through them, and keep a subset of those from various relationships that resonate with me. I have more to sift through but will return after the rest of the garage is in order.

Lucky is standing on his hind legs, looking for a ball and wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Nothing unusual.

Highlights: returned from a brief AM run with Jen to GOBM and found plumbing issues continue. I contacted the utilities company and plumber. Utility company came 1st and confirmed all flowing as expected - unable to explain. The plumber came later, ran the camera, found nothing wrong - unable to explain. Arrrrgh. Frustrating. No idea why but we had dirt come up in the master bath shower again and the bubbling toilet too. I have to continue watching; meanwhile, the utility company will come out and inspect the drain and update the map accordingly. I fixed the side gate closure (again) after the fence installation changed the angle enough to be problematic. I also mixed and put cement into the driveway hole – thinking I might need to do more, but I will see after it dries. Lindsey, Ryan and my mom came over for dinner. Jen made some great food (I helped), and it was nice to have them all here. We used the silverware my mom gave us, and I believe that meant something to her. 

Wonderful breakfast with fresh eggs from Sabrina's chickens! A low-key work day due to high levels of interruptions between dogs, kids, and the fence going in between Paul and my houses. All went well, and I'm hoping Tommy will help this weekend with some weather sealing efforts. I moved the homePod mini's around and settled for now with a new configuration that sounds great and puts the stereo sound at the HiFi console. I'm enjoying listening to music more than usual. I am going to 'wrap up' the effort to require some long-lost vinyl but what I have lined up are all really significant to me. I'm starting to review and complete some old writings and get them posted under the date they were originally authored as a 'backfill' effort. I'm going to play some games with Jen and Lauren and read before settling into bed for the night.

Fence repairs + kids milling about + wife on work calls of her own + noisy trash pickup = quotes around the word "working" (from home).

Highlights: 5 am waking and early departure to Sacramento. Pancake Circus breakfast and "just made it" arrival to Lauren's orientation. Met Sabrina at the Mill on I street in midtown. Talked about LivingWake idea and making it happen! Walked to goodwill and old soul. Met Matt C for lunch at Urban Eats, then walked to one of several record shops I wanted to pursue. Found several things but bought nothing. Returned, got Lauren, stopped at BJ's in Vacaville for dinner and I engulfed deserts more than I should have. It happens. Returned home, nice evening walk where we stopped and chatted with Art Carlson.

Prelude

It seems only fitting that the first post here in some time allows the echoes of the past year’s closures to resonate into tones of a new horizon. It brings to mind an audio CD I created back in 1997, a track reflecting on the loss of a relative and a particular friend. I found the opportunity to fade out of “Old Friends” by Lyle Lovett into the swelling orchestral movements of “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables. Exactly where the notes matched perfectly. It was a seamless segue that transitions an ending into a continuation, as has been 2022.

How this came about has little to do with my actions but in significant part with my reactions, how the kids have worked through the loss of their mom and the continuation of their lives without her ties into my efforts to have been available to her, and them throughout every moment. Not just being present but being accessible, trying to listen, not always but frequently hearing their struggles to resolve their own experiences and feelings and to ‘come out of it’ stronger because of it.

Walking with Lauren towards the student union felt transitional. Helping her find the proper sign with the appropriate name she was directed to felt like gently pushing a boat away from the dock. Watching her drift in the right direction and turning to look one last time as I walked out of the room felt, well. Shit. The tears still well as I write this. I don’t know what the right word is for how that felt. But I felt it and still do.

This was our second visit to this site in 5 days. We came up here with Jen last Saturday to see it all together. Not only did it enable us to come today with insight on where to head, but it also filled me with a sense of optimism and excitement for her next steps into continued education, adulthood, and the next phase of her life. She’s close enough to come home on the weekends yet far enough away to start experiencing greater independence and autonomy than she’s ever had.

She is so ready for it, too. The past year has been a fantastic period of rapid transformation. She’s blossomed. She’s come into her own in so many ways, and this move puts her in control without leaving her as removed and isolated and inaccessible as San Diego, Colorado, or Florida would have been. It’s an easy ease of a path to take. And who knows, maybe in the next two years Jennifer and I will find our way their too. In the meantime, her home, her family and her dog are all close.

Tommy’s path is less settled. And that’s ok. For the time being, as much as we might struggle and clash, having him home allows him to work through his trauma and feelings and to start working on some business interests that may be educational and perhaps even a path that takes him to a level of independence that he seeks. That would be awesome.

I’ve had conversations with others who have experienced the transition of their children into adults, heading to college, leaving the house, and becoming independent. Most have shared how intense of an experience it has been. I heard them, but not I get it fully.

It makes me sad that their mom wasn’t around to see these next steps taking place. I imagine she would have felt the pride and satisfaction of seeing them reach this point. Perhaps it would have been accompanied by anxiety, worries, and that typical protective-mother behavior that would have caused my eyes to roll. Still, even as recently as this morning, while having breakfast with Lauren at Pancake Circus, I have worked to convey that pride on her behalf. Keeping them conscious of her and representing her best intentions remains a reaction to all that has happened leading up to this point and will continue to be my “response” -ability as their surviving parent.

Stare-down from the left.. he disapproves of the youthful exuberance

Tried something for the neck pain last night. After taking one Alieve, then a few sips of Jameson, I took two microdose hits off a CBD/THC "sleep" pen. Not sure it helped, but waking up was a huge challenge. Not worth it. Managed to put in a decent day's effort at work while juggling a couple of parallel tasks. Dropped Lauren's Mini at Allmotive for some pre-Sac services. It'll be there at least until Thursday. It was a relatively lowkey day. Taking Lauren to Sac for orientation in the am. Continuing to read "A Cure for Gravity" and revisiting some of the music it's connected to.

I hate to say it, but the herniated disc issues are not going away. I've taken the next step to reach back out to Stanford and scheduled a return visit and discussion. The last time was mid-2019, so a new set of MRIs might show progression and justify the likelihood of surgical intervention. It's not my preference or desire, but the fact that there are options and paths is better than just having to live with it. Plus, the worst it gets, the more I fear an accident causing more significant issues than I'd face after surgery, so it's seemingly the safest bet. The plumbers identified our issue as a broken pipe about 2ft outside the house. Come Wednesday; they'll be back to do repairs and install a clean-out for future needs. $3200, added to the $2600 due this Friday for the fence work (1/2 of $5200 total), means we have a pricey week of home issues being managed. Yet the fact that we're no longer paying rent and a mortgage takes the sting out. Scottie seems to be rebounding after a dietary change, so we're looking at that as a factor in his recent malaise. I made a light summer meal for Jen/I to enjoy tonight, and I quickly gave away ALL the remaining weights on the side alley as we prep for fence work. I've taken a break on the garage reorg focus to give my neck a rest. I am having fun enjoying the patio tonight with Jen and Lauren. Still crazy weird being 'back,' but it feels like it's the right place to move.

Lauren has some 1:1 time with her mom

Lesson for the day – all plans take twice as long as you expect. I thought I would get some time to do my own things but started with what was supposed to be simple - snake the roof vent to address continued plumbing concerns. Lauren came to help. Only, I didn't realize there's 7 vents not 1. We did them all. We found some pretty gross stuff. We tested our work by running the washing machine and found issues remain. I was upset about it but have since come to realize it's just part of owning a home and an eventuality that was there 15+ years ago. A plumber comes tomorrow. We'll see what's next from there. Visited Linda with Lauren. I continue to wrestle with it all, but always will I'm sure. I'm just glad Lauren seems to be managing well while also recognizing this is something that'll take a lifetime of her own to play out as it has for me too. Visited my mom and realize I need to do so more often to help her with things that are becoming more difficult. Dinner with Dom and Mary was great fun but I likely set back the progress on my maintence goals so tomorrow will start a week of more focused efforts. That's fine, it's the nature of the beast. VERY sad to learn that Pat Borne, or neighbor, passed away late last week. She'd had a stroke and was getting in-home care. I didn't know it would lead to this and feel a loss deeper than I expected. Perhaps in the recognition of my own mortality too. She was a sweet woman and reminded me of my own mom in many ways.

4:45 am. That's the time I woke to the sound of Scottie's clicking toenails on the flooring. Both dogs need to get their nails trimmed. Scottie was doing that 'thing' he does when something is wrong. I always assume he's got to pee or something like that, so I picked him up (to prevent further clicking, which would likely wake Lucky as we walked past Lauren's room (as if walking alone would not wake him) and I took Scottie to the back yard and set him down. I turned on the patio lights, and he meandered slowly and as if in pain, gnawing on grass and brush and branches all the way around the yard. I stayed close because, after the coyote incident at Matson, I don't want to be too far from him if he's on another canine's menu. He didn't pee or poop or throw up, but he was hurting. It didn't occur to me until later that he might have tried jumping on the bed before I woke. We could not quite figure out what was going on for him. Age is likely part of it. Maybe diet. Maybe Tommy's absence. Perhaps any number of things. We eventually got him out for a walk, and he was fine then but off otherwise. Meanwhile, the toilet gurgle that happened last night just as I was falling asleep, which I attributed to the running of the washing machine (spin cycle) somehow having a role, turned out to have brought a backup (dirt, not sewage) into both bathroom showers/tubs! That means more significant issues elsewhere. The snaking the other night wasn't enough. I called the city to check it out while Lauren and I ran to the Branham flea market as planned, where I found and bought several more items on my relatively short list of vinyl I want to reclaim. It was a great score. I talked to the city guy, and they didn't have issues on their end, so a plumber is a next option past my continued efforts. We also had plans to go to Sac State, but with the dog issue, we opted to go as planned. We 'jump proofed' the house by getting cushions and such in blocking positions and kept an eye on things using the webcam. The trip to Sac was beautiful. It not only drove home the reality that Lauren's heading to college but also made it exciting to imagine. It's such a good starting point. Close enough but not too close, and her schedule will allow her to come back for weekend visits as often as she wants, and we will most definitely be going there too. I wish Jen still has 1821, but we will find options, and I still anticipate we may end up there in our later years. We got to see the various halls, dorms, and campus layouts. I'm taking Wednesday off to drive up early with her for her orientation and spend the day just hanging out at Old Soul, shopping for some used records, and seeing Matt for lunch. We stopped at Pachmama and bought a 5lb bag of beans which later I sealed, labeled and froze. We visited Jen's old apartment, got ice cream and chocolates at Ginger Elizabeth, snagged some quick refreshments at GOBM and headed home. The dogs were excited, and Scottie seems off but not awful so far. I broke out and ran the 25ft snake through the front clean out and also briefly got on the roof to take a quick look at the vent, which I'll snake tomorrow am before it gets hot. We all lingered on the back patio; Lauren made cookies, Jen played some games, and I spun some of the new records. I also found some FLAC encoded vinyl files and made some comparisons to explore the differences. I'm still adamant that digital is better than analog, especially with remasters and lossless improvements. Analog has romance and memories. While looking through record bins at the flea market, a guy next to me said, "looking for anything in particular," Without missing a beat, I looked at him and said, "my youth." I love having this small set of records that were instrumental (pun intended) in my life and the evolution of my music appreciation. It's fun to revisit the experience of placing a needle, the pops and clicks, and the nostalgia that comes with the console and music of that same era. But for pure sound, digital has matured so far that I can't see how people still insist Vinyl is superior for sound. Not to my aging ears. We ended the night with Diana Krall's "All for You" and "Love Scenes" playing as we lingered in the front room. I love this space and how we are using it to its fullest.

 

Snaking a screw out of a drain makes me worry about what's now down there, missing a screw.

Sleep was dicey. Neck and arm pains continue, but seem to be subsiding ever-so-slightly. Sink clogged so after am meetings I snaked it, a 2nd time, the full ~25ft distance, and if the issue returns it'll be time to call a plumber. I talked to and scheduled the fence work for next Friday. We're doing the full length but I'm going to hold off on the gates and do some of my own work to improve them. I ordered a cool fun replacement lamp for the dining room. We went to Mark and Lyn's for dinner with Brent and Kim as well. It was delicious and I went "off the rails" as far as sugar and carbs but I'll rebound. Tomorrow we make a SAC run to visit Lauren's school! 103 degrees will be a bit of a challenge, though.

It's hard each night to capture the breadth of all that might transpire in a single day. Some days are focused, others chaotic, but ultimately all start, conclude and lead into the next, which is a gift. I've spent the day trying to be conscious about the day. The concept is that I'm a witness to what happens around me, but not 'to' me. And being present and conscious of the small moments is as significant as the big ones. Linda's passing, my aging body ailments, and struggles with my son for dominance and control all take the limelight. At the same time, the success of a standard set of squats, the smell of a rose on a routine morning walk, the chance encounter and evening spent with wonderful friends and finding a long sought LP have just as much importance. I started the day by seeing the flowers in the vase by the kitchen window mysteriously broken. Most of them seem bent and broken. Creepy, given nobody knows why. Jen speculated it's due to the weight of the flowers and a guess that's perhaps reasonable but undoubtedly unusual. I'm not one to imagine anything otherworldly, but it was still just odd. The work day was full, and a mid-day break to scour a local used record store surfaced several desired titles as well as overlooked ones and even a gift for Jennifer that ultimately shows my love for her over my disgust for the musical carnage that was a favorite of hers. I also found 1/2 of a double LP set I've been seeking, orphaned in a bin, and the clerk would not sell it solo as if I'd tried to pull a fast one. Bummed but happy with what I did find. Our evening at the LG "Promenade" included time having a spur-of-the-moment dinner with Velma and Kelly at Andale's. We enjoy them so much, and it was a joy to have a chance to share a meal and so much laughter. We 'closed the place' and will return again next week or the week after as timing allows. We returned to Lauren's affection along with the dogs excitement and Tommy arrived shortly after. Today was a good day to be alive. The older I get, the more I appreciated being able to say that, and the more I stay consious of that gift, the more rewarding each day can be.

Scottie jumped off the bed in the early AM and hurt himself. Again. He's getting old and slowing down and has increasing issues. We shouldn't let him up, but when we do, I make a concerted effort, aggressive even, to ensure there's no path off without waking me, and I wake quickly and stop him on those few occasions. Last night was one where he was behind Jen's pillow, and that's the path he took without barrier. In hindsight, I saw it coming but didn't say anything out of a desire not to seem overprotective when I should have been. Going forward, I'm also looking for some pad solutions. Lauren continues to be sweet and loving and engaging with us both. I think she's starting to get preemptively homesick and enjoying our home life together. Tommy's still contentious but less aggressive and confrontational. Jen's anxious about her job and what may or may not be waiting for her return from sabbatical, and I get that and feel the same. At least we're in a good place now with the move over and costs reduced. Work was good. I was well engaged in the all-hands meeting, and my face-face lunch with Marlin went great. I have SO much on my plate and need to keep many things going in parallel. I'm trying to see it as a challenge and a fun opportunity vs. a burden. Jen and I made dinner together and had a nice evening, then I worked through more of the garage boxes and cleared more stuff and made more room. Progress is being made. I also listened to a lot of vinyl mid-day today, which was really fun and nostalgic. It's a B level priority at best but I would like to make time this year to refurbish and upgrade the console. I've not ben sleeping due to the neck/disc herniation issues exacerbated by the move. It's gotten better, slowly, which is encouraging, but there's still issues lingering. I tried taking a 40:1 CBD oil tonight. I'm hoping it helps.

https://calmcom.app.link/2K2IElsdDrb

Possibly my greatest challenge and aspiration all in one.

RIP Carl Poole… you served me well for over a decade.

When I went to Matson yesterday to pull in the empty trash bins, I saw that some things had been wedged into position and didn't come out when dumped by the trash pickup truck. Including Carl. I confess… I put his head in the trash. It was time to let it go. If the need arises, I'll revisit the creative drawing board, but for now, adieu. The final step for the move got addressed today, the cleaning. We're just on the hook to drop off keys and manage the last trash pickup items this week. I re-keyed the house so I could turn over the Matson keys; there are about six copies between us and spares. I went through, photo'd, and posted a slew of adapters, cables, chargers, and such on CL. Like the weights, I think there's enough value to do so, and I'm not in a hurry, but the trickle in funds add up to at least a few hundred, and that's a good return on a bit of effort. Tommy texted me this evening, saying, "You know I've really been thinking lately about mom, and I just wanted to say thanks for how much you stepped up and were there for her." That was a pleasant surprise. He came home and detailed Jen's car while I worked on the garage stuff. It was a pleasant way to do separate things in parallel and not clashing. Jen and I went to look at column refrigerators, and about 10 min before closing, we tucked into Streetlight, where I found, for $15, one of the LPs that I have been longing to recover for at least 5-6 years. It's worn but plays and has the entire booklet in excellent condition. It's absolutely one of my favorite records of all time for several specific reasons too detailed to go into here, but this find was years in the making.

I'm returning, finally and with focus, to my daily routines in full. The "Atomic Habits" that I adopted and built on over the past year have been sporadic throughout the move, but that's done, and I'm eagerly returning to some proactive patterns that help me make the most of my days. I started the day going through them and dove headfirst into work for a full day's effort. The house was quiet, and I got a lot done. In the evening, I tackled some lingering move-related tasks, including re-keying the locks in the place that were otherwise problematic, with temporary irritation but patience and success. It's all done, and I am back down to 2 keys on my keychain. Car, and house. That's it. Lauren/Jen, and I took a nice evening walk together after they'd played dominoes while I lock-smithed. Then Lauren, Scottie, Lucky and I hung in the backyard on the hammock, looking at the stars and listening to DSOTM. That's history for me here, and it's nice to revisit it. I'm also returning to reading/finishing "A Cure for Gravity," which I set aside too.

Some days feel so productive, others not so much. High heat today put a damper on my momentum, as did a conflict with Tommy. It's such a complicated dynamic, I know I play a part in it, but from where I stand, it's simply about how I respond to an abusive, dismissive attitude. It's learned behavior for him, and I can only let so much frustration build before cracking. As for the move, the carpets at Matson got cleaned, but I was not a fan of the technician who was just in pure 'upsell mode,' and they did less than I expected and charged more than we were initially told. That didn't sit well. But the work got done. At some point tomorrow, I'll be getting the last of anything left as far as recycling/trash or donations (a few items in the side alley), and after the scheduled cleaning Tuesday, we are done-diddly-done. I still struggle at times to comprehend being back in this home. It's nothing like before, but I don't fully understand why it wasn't and could not have been far more pleasant. That, too, was a complicated dynamic. What I have now seems so simple. Harmonious, even. Looking about our home, recognizing all the harmony amongst all the history, just resonates with a sense of arrival, if not perhaps redemption. I have a busy work day tomorrow, and I've got to focus aggressively throughout the week ahead as many critical needs are coming to a head.

Highlights: Further progress unpacking including recognizing and admitting to my control issues when it comes to Jen's taking action on organizational stuff. I endured an inability to make changes in my home for too long to feel it's justified to subject Jen to now. Maybe I'm not the only one that can determine what works best, so I made an effort to give up some control and it's warranted. I snaked the bathroom drain and resolved the issues after buying and trying the bladder solution. So be it. I rewired the power to the workbench so it's more centralized and less obtrusive. We had Kelly Velma Wendy Mark over last night and I drank too much but we had Jon/Cheryl over tonight and I was much more controlled. With the wine but less with the ice cream. Tomorrow will be PSMF day. Carpets got cleaned and the last task is house cleaning which should happen next week. I hope to spend tomorrow 100% on garage, cement patch, sprinklers and screen repairs. Also listing some more stuff on CL to clear space.

Another brutal night wrestling with neck pain and the dog's stress over fireworks. I had the day off, focused on Matson, cleared the rest of the storage and set up a slew of things for the giveaway. Posted on CL, and 30m later, a flood of people came to take whatever they could. Free stuff moves fast on CL. Ask $10 for a $500 item, and you get little interest but make it free, and boom… value's perceived. The more stuff we get rid of the more I want to get rid of stuff. We went over later to get more of the final items, and we're pretty much down to just getting the last things tomorrow—one car load's worth. And we're done. Amazing. Cleaning is scheduled for Saturday. The work's not done yet, though – I have a lot of stuff to sift through, organize, and thin out. I enjoy putting on headphones and going to town. I think it'll take less than a week. I'm going to pass along some camping gear to Mark. I took a midday nap on the couch with classical music playing and, as a daily ritual, found myself amazed to be where I am and with such a vastly different experience. I restrung the patio lights and have one more pass ahead as I realized yet another optimization awaits - securing to a better anchor point and raising slightly. Tomorrow I return to work, which will likely consume my day.

Horrible sleep last night. Neck issues. Worst I've experienced in decades. Self-inflicted by the level of lifting and moving but such are the circumstances of moving. I woke after little sleep, knowing I had to check on the sprinkler in the back. OMG, it was so 'off' it soaked the windows, table and outdoor sofa. I was so lucky Jen closed the windows. Sigh. I kept meaning to attend to it but was so 'in the zone' on the garage prep for the move that I spaced it—learning experience. We made a massive 'full-court press' effort at Matson today, leaving only what gets tossed, given away or donated, which is my day tomorrow. Hopefully just my morning. I plan to go early, focus and hopefully be done in <2hrs. Then I can work on the garage at Pano. We have SO MUCH STUFF to thin and get rid of. For a self-proclaimed minimalist, I'm acknowledging my hypocrisy. I blew up at Tommy in the afternoon because I was so angry that he pretty much blew off moving his car to help us unload. I don't want to go into it; it's pointless at this stage. Jen twisted her ankle on the driveway in the chipped-out section. I should have fixed it before but will now. I bought and re-hung the patio table lights with two strings instead of one. It looks great. I also set up the homekit plug to support two independent instances, as was my desire. My neck and shoulders are bad, but I hope to get some rest and recover tomorrow. Scottie's having a hard time as usual with the fireworks tonight.

My 61st birthday was a good one. Breakfast at LG Cafe with Jen and the kids of course. Its been a tradition within our family but a favorite well before and so we continue enjoying it. Tommy gave me a nice card with a message that this year was an opportunity for growth as a family. I appreciate that and the much-needed shoes, too! After a stop at Sports Basement (sandals), we return to Pano and then hit Matson hard. I got through all of his stuff in his room and he went through it today so tomorrow it's all about donations and/or giveaways. I cleared the 4x4 shelves out  (a neighbor took 'em) and we worked hard all day getting all the other rooms cleared out and boxed up. Today was focused aggressively, and I do mean aggressively, on the Panorama garage being 'thinned' in advance of the onslaught of stuff about to come to fill the garage. It's crazy how much I got done. I was in the zone and finally got the momentum going to where I'm 80% finalized on where a great deal of stuff's going to go, or just being gone. I used Craigslist to post "curb alert" posts and gave away a laser printer, closet doors, blinds, frying pan, gazebo lights…. Just a lot of "stuff". I also thinned out and started moving the plastic shelves and bins out too. I'm not anticipating needing or keeping many but that'll be the final step once we're fully out of Matson. Tomorrow we'll be going one last time in the morning to finish getting everything 'staged' for my Tuesday efforts moving it all over. We'll also return to Matson for the annual 4th block party too. I BBQ'd burgers tonight and last night as Sous Vide steak. We're using the patio so much, it's amazing how functional it's been. I put up the solar lights on the back fence and the 'flame' lights on the front steps today as well as hanging some additional heritage illustrations and the German newspaper in Tommy's room.

Highlights: We walked further down and around the Strathmore neighborhoods with the dog this morning. We found all sorts of other options and ideas for landscaping when we eventually got to that point. Right now, it's not as high a priority as other tasks. Rob, the electrician that's done some prior work for us, including the downed power line last year due to storm damage and falling tree limbs, came and installed the outlet in the attic for the "whole house fan," which will be installed Wednesday. Francesco came to finish the sprinkler work, and that's done now, but we had some issues getting the automated system to run 'zone tests,' so I said we could tackle that another time. I'm considering upgrading the controller. It's at least 20 years old now. I set up the 'Edison bulb' patio lights, and Jen came up with a cool idea to loop another strand back to the house. That's now on my list, along with biting the bullet and properly mounting the outdoor homekit power plug to support isolating the house from the patio lights. If you're going to do it, do it right. That, too, is a 'later' task, though. We spent 2+hrs at Matson working through the place, boxing more stuff up. It'll continue all day tomorrow too. I am starting to imagine we may need to utilize the boxes I have on the side alley. We brought more stuff back to Panorama, but I had too much of it packed for now, simply because it can wait. I set up the stereo HomePods that I bought through JS's discount, and they sound great together, but there were some dropouts. I found options and solutions, but I'll deal with that later, too. Jen and Lauren made cookies again. They're so good together. Tommy's Kayla was over, and they went somewhere for a while. Maybe there's something brewing there for him. I turn 61 tomorrow. I'm proud of the year behind me, my accomplishments, my efforts, and my growth. I hope I can find time tomorrow to write more about that in greater detail.