I am glad I followed through on the morning walk to Starbucks with Tommy Monday. I initially declined due to a desire to get some solo quiet time that I am only now, some 9 hrs later, finally attaining. However, it was a fruitful discussion surrounding schooling needs and how I might help manage his funds as best as possible. I want to get him more familiar with bills and budgeting. It's time if not well past time. Jen and I took Scottie to a Redwood Grove park in a quaint little Los Altos neighborhood. That is the best word to describe it. He did pretty well when not seeming panicky over being out of his element. I am hoping he's recovering from whatever joint-based trauma he'd suffered. My mom has had a few difficult days, and I suspect it's coming to a point where I will need to invest more time into helping out things like clearing out old books and dishes and assorted offer things. I also want, and told her as much, to put time into things that make her life more enjoyable. Clearing clutter can be managed after two months or two years after she's gone. I am optimistic that she will find things she wants to do over things she feels obliged to do. As I bear witness to her increasing physical limitations, I wrestle with the reality and the emotions she expresses, and I comprehend from a place outside of her experience. I am making it more empathy than genuine understanding. Maintaining a stoic position seems to require mastering the emotional overload that accompanies the loss of a loved one or, at the extreme, your own ending. One can see how faith and belief in something beyond this lifetime, experience, and identity can bring great comfort. For my part, I have certainly come to a place through numerous experiences that give me a sense of connection to the concept that energy is infinite, well beyond the limited scope of our muted and constrained ability to perceive. I have a faith of my own, based on the combination of science and intuition, yet to consider fully that my parent will be gone at some point soon, inaccessible for the historical recollections, recipes, or sage wisdom insights hit deep. The nature to want security and consistency and that something or someone not be removed from our lives seems utterly contrary to being resolved with impermanence. Is this an innate aspect of human nature or the result of decades of denial, avoidance and entitlement? Discuss.

It remains surreal to sit on this patio, enjoying an evening outside beside the firepit, cool Jazz playing on the speaker by the open window, with my hammock out and positioned between the two trees on the opposite side of the property. Yet here I am. Tommy, who I watched from the hammock with awe and amazement over the past 20 years, has gone by so quickly and unnecessarily dramatically. He sits to my left, eating the chicken he barbecued himself only 10 minutes ago. I can't say enough how right it feels to have this space and its history, good and bad, us losing it all in what was already a horrible loss. I gazed earlier at the picket fence boards behind the St Francis statue with pride that it continues to be relevant. As do so many things throughout the house. Even when Tommy is out, and it's just Jen and me, embracing the path and influences that were found along the way will remain a comfort. I spent the day completing the excellent Bernie Taupin autobiography while doing "one more thing "in the garage, which resulted in it being cleaned rather thoroughly. We attended a small gathering at Marc's mom's in Monte Sereno. It is an awesome home and property that we both appreciated. Adu, his mom, was a sweet and engaging person. I was moved to see a wall of family photos in a hall and images of her as a mother, wife and active individual. Now, in her later years, does she feel the value her life has been?

A phrase has been coming up in conversation rather frequently and significantly today. "Doing nothing is doing something." I began the day writing an extensive and exhaustive reply to a text message amongst my geek friends that will go in and unseen due to its circular references and sardonic attack on expressing opinions while being an expression of an option itself. Ultimately, it was a writing exercise fueled by my continued reading of Bernie Taupin's memoir, "Scattershot ". Two-thirds through, obsessively immersed, I paused to look up the title's meaning. Like everything in its content, it's the perfect use of a descriptive word. I thoroughly enjoy the man's narrative. It's inspiring. I wish I were as adept at storytelling while, at the same time, I am recognizing my skill at conveying my experiences and how I have developed an addiction to the perspective I have gained of my daily existence through journaling. I had high hopes and grand intentions to scour the house today, from room to room, with a minimizing mindset. Cleaning, clearing, and aggressively purging the inevitable finds of redundant or unnecessary items into a goodwill box. I stopped at the meat cleaver, which is also where I began. One item. Yet, is there any more useless item tucked away in a kitchen drawer than a meat cleaver? I've never needed one to prepare a meal, and I'm not connected with organized crime so that it can go. That one item drained me, along with what I suspect to be the" keto flu" due to some intermittent fasting and carnivore feasting. I lazed the day away, listening to the audiobook and ensuring the dog had a warm body against which to lean. I did get active in the evening. The great time biking through the neighborhood had a lot to do with the home styles and designs that Jen would enjoy, so I took her tonight to cruise and walk through. It was so great to share with her. We connect at that level. We will walk about more soon. Music at the Marioni's was a chance to relax, sing, and embrace a moment of enjoying all this life provides.

I had a rewarding morning walking to pick up my car at Leigh. 6:45 The morning sunlight was perfect and there were hardly any people around Just the occasional dog-accompanment. It was a healthy way to start the day. I was relieved to find my car undamage and surrounded by about a dozen others that had also survived the night getting charged to charge at a generius rate. I hope this continues. Esprcially sfter reviewing the PG&E usage data and realizing I may need to spend roughly $400 to buy and install breaker-specific monitors. We're also now on thr higher rates for the summer, which is driving our bills upward. Our work is not done yet. Jen wasn't hungry, so the three of us went to our usual place for a relatively pleasant breakfast before Lauren and I drove to the beach. It was moderately chilly but bearable. We had a good talk and then drove back through the redwoods, Felton, and other towns It is a breathtaking drive. We joked about naming the Tesla "Perry" and how I had considered the chattering for my "look sound". It's active as of this afternoon. I started watching the Beach Boys documentary but had to leave for a bike ride with Mark, which was epic. The stories along with the dusk lighting on the unique homes reminded me of the podcast idea. I need to take Jen walking there this weekend or get another e-bike so all three of us can go. That would be the perfect time to record.

It was a hectic day of adaptation. Scottie seemed unsteady when it was time to start the day by watering the plants and cleaning a dish, but he seemed reasonably stable during a brief walk. After coordinating everything, I went to pick up my mom and Lauren for her appointments at South Bay Cancer Center. However, Lauren's train was delayed, so I used the time to run back home for coffee. Mark was working on the bathroom tile, and I jokingly greeted him with the '..whaderuuudooinghere?' line from "The Californians.". Lauren's train arrived before my mom's appointments finished, so I picked her up and we made it back in time for the ongoing consultation. The treatments were delayed for a week due to low immunity levels. Afterward, Tommy joined us for Aqui takeout lunch at Mom's home on his way back from LPCH. In the afternoon, Lauren and I went on a spontaneous drive. We ended up at Fremont Older, an open space between Cupertino and Saratoga where I used to hike 27 years ago. We hiked to the peak overlooking the entire valley, which was a struggle, but both rewarding and reminiscent. Later, Jen, Lauren, and I went to Alice's for burgers, where a band was playing, and the place was packed. At one point, I panicked, momentarily, thinking my car was being towed, Only to realize it was parked just behind the tow truck. Such are the joys of owning a white Tesla Model Y in the Bay Area :-). Back home, I left the Y charging at Leigh after a few "Goldilocks" moments trying to find the perfect parking spot. On the walk back with Lauren, I expressed how this whole 'life' experience has been amazing to share with her, and she seemed to relate and agree. At home with Jen, she opened up a lot about her childhood experiences that she's had to work through. It was honest and genuine. I see a lot of support and love for her from Jennifer. Despite all the past struggles and trauma, it seems like we've managed to create a balanced and supportive environment for all of us.

I gave myself 30 min to write this morning after completing most of my ritualistic daily regime of reading, meditation and sitting in a state of neutral thoughts. Or at least attempting to do so. Sitting and suspending active thought for 10 minutes, let alone 30, 60 or more, can be tricky, challenging and sometimes impossible. It's nothing tied to being a seasoned practitioner or a beginner. The parallel nature of existence complicates the nature of a discipline. My thoughts today were distracting without being disruptive, and my effort was rewarded with a sense of awareness and alignment with the day ahead. One concept was about just setting an intention for the day ahead. Another was on an extension of this: acting on intention today instead of daydreaming about a fictional tomorrow or future where the goal of writing that book, fixing that door, or visiting that friend will somehow occur without any effort made in the present. Lastly, the reminder that vengeance is an ego effect, and feeling a need to retort and retaliate is to compromise your virtue and integrity. That can come quickly in some instances while being oh-so-difficult in others. It's perhaps one of the most essential tenets of following a stoic and zen path. To not respond in kind to an action perceived as unkind. The day began with delayed awakening (no alarm set) and the realization that Lucky had been left out of the room all night. Tommy had gotten up and left beforehand so there was no opportunity to gauge the tone or temperment du jur. I did order the UV window films and did put a thermometer in his room to better gauge the temperature range. I'm also considering a few other ideas and options to support a more bearable summer. I moved furniture in Lauren's room away from the walls to allow access for Mark's effort to lay the floorboards as one of those quick-hit tastes. I hesitate to document this here because its so dramatically stigmatized as being representative of filth and squalor, but when moving the small bookcase I watched a large but grogily meander from underneath it, across a small patch of floor and under the bed. A cockroach. It took me a moment to process it and another to deliberate the impulse to act quicky and crush it under foot so I could avoid having to hunt for it once out of reach. The hesitation was based on being barefoot. I let it go. It won this round. They are not at all uncommon here. Nearby Lone Hill Park has a massive presence out and around several large rock formations. Still, it's nothing I want as a resident, and there is never only one. It’s now another item to attend to added to my list of responsibilities. Yet as my mom quipped when calling with, you guessed it, computer issues, "At least you're needed. "It's the sort of thing I would say. So it's pretty much throwing my own words in my face. Relatively. And justifiably too. Because it worked. It reminded me of how good it does feel to be wanted and needed. As I do. All in all today went well. I could lament all I did not accomplish (and likely will in a day or two) still the floorboards got done, No pests were seen or found afterwards, and the garage door spring was replaced. Costl,  but I moved easily to being conscious of helping others in need of sustaining a independent business. Coffee got roasted and ground. The car got a low- cost charge while Jen and I got to take two walks hand-in-hand to Leigh and back. The a bike ride got postepened to Tomorrow and will get punted again because Lauren is coming down for a short visit until Friday. I see Aqui, Farkel and the Greatest Showman in my future. I'll stick to my current diet focus because I don't want to lose the fraction I have finally achieved. Lucky got a good run playing ball while Scottie continues to look better one minute and worse the next. Sigh. Oh and I frantically tackled the completion and scheduling of the next newsletter while it's pattett changed censustily underneath me. I was getting frustrate. I almost made a point of venting but reigned it in. It's all good. I can manage the improvents needed to make it work better.

When garage door springs go bad

Highlights: A decent morning walk and coffee. A visit to "Game On Pinball" (very cool to see Tim and Nancy doing well). Garage door issues now on my fix list. "Discussed" the constraints between the PGE and AC with Tommy. Savers run. Low key pm.

Routine really does work well for me. Being back in one is having wonderful results in attitude, priorities, balance and awareness. It can feel surreal sometimes to have as many connections that allow me to have this experience. I owe it to myself to fully engage in daily action towards my goals. Although chilly, the patio was a good place to start the day with that routine of orienting intention. A thought occurred to me wherein our lives are a school, a concept I can trace back to one specific moment in the basement of the house in Lewisburg. No, not abuse, I was alone.  it felt like an epiphany or an innate insight. Yet today, I envisioned the goal of this class. To evolve by carrying the lessons of a previous forward as the foundation of the next. What we perceive individually as the insights and intuitions that fuel our development forward. See how that works!? Scottie is starting to do a bit better. That is encouraging. As is my mom. I talked to a board member about an opportunity to get a modestly paying position. I need to think about it. In an exchange with Marlin, we carved out the termination agreement, and It feels like the right one. Picked up the spare Tesla keys. Had an awesome lunch conversation with Frank. I so appreciate the kinship and the validation. And Jen appreciated the Caesar salad I brought her from Rustic House in Los Altos. This village is iconic and a center of great minds. Innovation is all around this valley. Mark came by to discuss a few quick-hit tasks while he is available. Cardzmania with Jack and Judy went well for the 2nd time. I continued listening to and greatly enjoying "scattershot," and I'm ending the day with gratitude for all of the people in my life that I have known for years and only months, all as influential on me as I aspire to be for them. Especially Jennifer.

Calm Behavior

According to the "Calm" app, I am standing with my front toes against the edge of the line on the path, marking 1,000 total days of use. I stumbled upon this quite by accident. I finished a session, noted the usual closing quote and glanced below at a few additional recomm­endations. Endless scrolling is now the norm. Further below these initial segments, yet slightly before my impulse to abandon, rested the aforementioned indicator—the metric of "999" days as of today.

Scottie continued to have issues into the night, necessitating getting up at 1 am to see if he needed a bio-break. It was frustrating and sad all at the same time. My sleep-deprived default seems hard wired to irritation but I continue to work on it, and I realigned quickly with compassion and a sense of empathy. Who knows, someday I may be in his position. I read something earlier today that said "never write a lie" and that has stuck. It's an aspiration to be genuine and authentic in this journal, which can be a challenge at times when the possible judgement of others causes concern. It's hard sometimes to imagine I may have to defend or explain myself or have assumptions made of my character by others who likely curate their content more aggressively than I might. Authenticity requires transparency at the cost of humility.

The windows got washed today. All of them. Inside, and out. Lingering streaks were promptly removed. The morning light will be the final test. Summer is coming, so three propane canisters got refilled at U-Haul for a significant savings over Cynch. The numbers are in for the next 12 months, thus I have began work finessing the budget. Messing around with formluals is fun; quite reminiscent of the work at care 2 for 'cultivate. But that pride aside, limited as it is the built-in Chase feature may be good enough vs the programming spiral this might initiate. Scottie continues to struggle walking. If it's getting better, it is taking time, and he may just be slowing down for good. :-(

My morning was good. A 3+ mile walk, and I returned to put time into the website work. But I also started working on budgeting needs for the rest of 2024 and, while doing so, caught a $443 credit card charge for a grocery store in Philadelphia. WTF? I ended up having to spend time making calls, locking cards and doing all the due diligence things one needs to do. It's a bit suspect that happened as I was working to set up a few tests with rocketmoney and creditkarma, but correlation ≠ causation, right? Still, it's not what I planned for my day. The wine pickup party at Wright Station was wonderful - lots of charcuterie options and the Zin and "Semaphore" blends were excellent.

Mindset: Resigned. I am responsible not only for accepting and navigating all that I have no control over but also for accepting that I have options and opportunities to influence, direct and ultimately manifest a great deal of my aspirations. Just getting off the couch is the barrier—and prioritizing my focus. I have a book to write. Maybe two. And a business opportunity ripe for engagement and growth. Balancing those two objectives with social engagements, health, home and hobbies takes constant oversight and attention. I complain daily about the dogs, but they help me get up and aligned with these intentions as long as I don't climb back into bed. I'll use this morning to get a good walk-in with JS on the LG creek trail before returning and focusing on finishing exitidy site tasks. I want to start promoting it more. I may change the name to incorporate the mindfulness aspect, too. The evening plan is a tip to Wright Station to pick up our allocation and enjoy the beautiful weather and property.

If they do a Was Anderson festival… dibs on these seats.

Highlights: A second sleepless night in a row consumed me with frustration around 3 am. Severe anger and frustration. The limited space and a sense of constraint and confinement made me feel trapped and tense. I wonder what's subconsciously behind that? I have a few suspicions, including the need to make further progress on business initiatives and the conversation on the horizon with the kids that could be disruptive on numerous levels. I eventually slept, but it was less than I had desired. I am striving to return to a consistent routine. It helps with presence and intention when things go awry in this relatively well-off narrative called life. For example, I go all the way to Cupertino at 7 am to return with my mom for an early set of appointments, only to receive a call 15 seconds after dropping her at the entrance 10 minutes early while I park the car. A call from them saying her appointments have been rescheduled. To the following week. And for maybe 1/2 of a second, I recognized a hint of anger at the haphazard handling of it without any advanced notice. The following day, an email alert.... something. But I rolled with it, knowing I was right to realign with the reality instead of holding onto an unrequited desire. (Hat tip to Charles Shultz). They ran a blood panel anyway, just for records. Things look stable. Isn't it odd how all of this data has an immediate value and an intrinsic one year beyond her death? It will be a statistical link and factor in the evolution of curing what killed her. Lifespans may increase as they have for centuries, perhaps soon, exponentially. It's all built on the foundation of all the data collected to date. All which we learn from. Ok, enough rambling. The day ended at the Stanford Theatre to see "Vertigo". It was wonderful to be sitting in the upper balcony, close enough to hear the projector behind me alongside some muddled dialog and classic Northern California landmarks. Oh and Kim.

Ah, a well-balanced day, at last. The morning started with the usual dog demands. Scottie seems to be having trouble walking. Every effort is going into keeping him from the typical spinning on excitement when fed. It's hard to imagine he may only be around another couple of years. That seems to be going around. I joined there and sat online with deepbows. Coffee with J. S. was enjoyable, and we had some insight­ful observations to share. I appreciated the tone of intentions as well as the content of the conversation. I drove the BMW there and back to keep it in optimal condition until it gets sold, which is taking longer than desired. I attended to a few Jikoji needs briefly. Jen had to work through the cardzmania game. I would like us both not to have to work. That is the goal. There are a lot of goals—time and focus, clearly less.

Quite a stretch of time away from my daily journal posts. Highlights include all sorts of things, ranging from attending the intern presentations at Stanford with Tommy, going to Firefall Ranch for two nights either Vinny along for the first, done 1st world issues with their opening weekend, spectacular night sky including hints of Aurora Borealis that the camera picked up better than my eyes did, an outing to the Stanford Theater for Rear Window and "Dial M For Murder" with the Priests, a pleasant chat with Lauren as she wraps up the semester, and having to work with Scottie aging and slowing down dramatically after a jumping injury. Also a nice visit with my mom who's voicing more angst and discomfort with facing mortality head on. Understandable and fully relatable. I have so much to be grateful for including the life lessons that continue occurring daily.

It's been another pleasant morning, but not without its challenges. Or should I say "challenge"? Singular. Dogs. Ugh. 80% of the time, I'm happy to have them. I love them dearly, and the fact that our bed is their bed is only an occasional strategic complication. But, cue the title card, "Early this morning," I was nudged, pawed and scratched out of a deep sleep. It's a good thing, given that It's typically related to a pressing need to pee. He's an older dog (Scottie). We share that diminishing control issue,' nuff said. Still, it was a deep sleep and a rude awakening. I resented it at the moment and gradually accepted the fate. It ended up fine, of course; it was and is the nature of nature. A brief am stroll reminded me of what I had delayed long enough: addressing an increasing crop of weeds needing pulling. I went into it with a "don't pause, just act" approach and kept finding more and more along the way. I kept going. It was an excellent option to get some quiet time and meditative connections. I can see parallels between the nature of an "invasive species," such as weeds in an otherwise intentionally groomed and curated landscape, to the social observation around negative people, crime, and selfish and disruptive actions that can spread quickly if not managed promptly. It's that whole "broken window theory" incarnate. Google it. In any event, the need was addressed, as was the adjacent need to cut back some low-hanging branches that impact walking the sidewalk. All before 9:30 am. It was and is "centering" to not check email or social media or do anything distraction-driven for the first few hours of the day and even set aside writing. It works well for me to do so. It's become part of my daily practice, although I do miss and intend to return to at least one onsite visit to Jikoji each week for 7 am Zazen and at least one online sit with deepbows. I feel at home with each of them, even though they have a mixed history and a bit of tension. For me, there is no drama in the dharma. John, the painter, met with my mom and me to discuss the painting needs in her home. Good guy. I hope it's in the cards for her to get her living space situated for mere comfort and usage. The palliative team call felt rote and textbook, frankly. It seemed more about the process and ticking off an action item than genuine engagement. It's a bit frustrating. While writing this on the patio, Lucky investigated a rustling in the backyard's corner and emerged with a young gopher in his teeth. I got him to drop it, and then I sadly watched it twitch and die. As a Buddhist, it's a conflicted position to be in, yet as a homeowner who has endured the ravaging of our yard by those things, well... good boy. Kind of. Allegedly. The Tesla got left at Leigh to charge. A 15 min walking distance away. I am still stunned at the savings. Stunned, I tell you. Stunned. a Just like Lucky was to catch the gopher, which he naturally returned in search of after its removal. Ironically, this is not his first catch. When Linda was living here with him, she had the same experience. Terrier's gonna Terrorize. Nenzen ran some group-retreat pricing past me for feedback, and I made a few simplifications and reasonable, defensible justifications for a more equitable structure that was well received. I'm increasingly comfortable and confident as somebody with business insight and acumen (whatever that means). The drawer liners arrived and worked perfectly for the outdoor seating cushions routinely sliding out of place. Not anymore. Grover Washington is playing (yes, "Winelight," no, streaming, but yes, I have it in the vinyl collection) as I capture the momentary inconsequential minutiae of one day's experiences. There were more interactions with my mom, Jen, Tommy, Lauren, and all sorts of passing thoughts and fleeting moments. This journal is skipped on occasion, abridged as well, depending on circumstances, or I go dense and deep, like tonight. Why? Because it's all important. It's all rich, fleeting and so worthy of being "there and aware" to enjoy it. Even the shitty days matter. That is something I hope to remember when the next one comes along. I hope Rodney Ir. was that mindful when Lucky got to him.

Lucky has mastered playing me. The low guttural growls, the rapid wagging of his stub-of-a-tall. And the perking of his ears when I cave into the distraction and stare back at him. "Ball". That's what this is all about. That and an ongoing subversive attempt to undermine my attachment to the "other" dog- I'm onto him. the attempts to feign obedience, to take direction, to walk at my side in a manner that denotes subserviency. It's all such obvious manipulation. So, I only spent a short while caving to the demand. I mean request. Still, it was a pleasant end to a pleasant day in very pleasant weather. The Tesla tire notation was done earlier tonight. It was an opportunity to sit and observe life. Costco has so much going on at any given moment. To stop and watch all the random chaos and coordination happening at once was quite invigorating. There are so many lives with so many needs and wants, all navigating one another, all the oversight and actions going into managing inventory and access, and the routine workflows with the inherent deviations and demands. It is almost like watching a choreographed scene from a Terry Gilliam film. Another thing I noticed was numerous Ev's, Teslas and others, navigating the parking lot. I recalled at that moment how a concern in their earliest incarnation was that you'd not hear it coming. We seem to have adapted as a society; it's not an issue. Seemingly, at least, to me. I had a good chat with Matt about life, death and Rock-o-planes Gunne Sax dresses came up in a recent conversation which, of course, took me back to memories of Holly's dress, the Renaissance faire, and the photo from the Fleetwood Mac concert in 1980. It's a wonderful life. Needs are met while wants come and go. Family, Friends, Growth. Influence. Inspiration.. Perspective. As I mentioned today while handing off the "INO" phone to Michael Newhall, I have come to define presence as the absence of what was, could have been, might be, and should be. No past. No future. Just now. It's a fleeting moment that's unbelievably hard to capture for long. I did manage well today by staying focused on a few time-critical objectives. Tomorrow will be more of the same. The trip to Finefall Ranch was moved up a day due to an opportunity Tommy has to attend an intern event at Stanford. He wants me to attend with him, and I certainly will. Doing so is rewarding. Being asked is as much so, if not more.

Yesterday's Highlights: Sunday brunch with the Priests and Maroni's; wine tasting with Marc and Christy at Gali; and an additional visit with the Priests to drop off earnings while changing the Tesla at Leigh. I also briefly chatted with Lauren about a guidance counselor appointment, dual majors, community college, and the effects of dopamine on Glio.

Highlights: (warning: TMI ahead) - After an awful night of fierce stomach issues that had me lying naked on the bathroom floor while trying to anticipate and get ahead of the content in my stomach, concurrently in the final stages of negotiating its exit strategy (same point of entry, or out the back door), I managed to feel well enough to head up to Jikoji for the first time in a month. It allowed me to be amongst new and old faces. We had a great meeting, and I walked away with a slew of action items and an indication of where I might move next, I mean, role-wise. It was rainy all morning and afternoon. I learned how low the charger rates at Leigh are, and I may start using that as an incentive to walk. We went to the Stanford Theatre to see Shadow of a Doubt. I have seen it numerous times, yet I always see and enjoy all the details better at this location. I closed the evening by picking off a handful of those tasks that had been picked up this morning. It was a good day.

Highlights: A pleasant morning on the patio, getting some sunlight, pulling a few weeds and enjoying a surprisingly good "spot-on" Cup of coffee. Verve-y. I spent some time responding to an extidy inquiry, improving my understanding of the many variables to factor into each scenario. It's similar to roasting coffee:). I picked up a dog crate from Craigslist before lunch with Marlin at Big Basin Burger Bar. I gave him some coffee beans I'd roasted this morning. We discussed various topics, including tying off some loose ends regarding my employment and managing mutually beneficial collaborations regarding our employment agreement. I consider it a win-win and an ethical arrangement. I'll know more next week and hopefully have further discussions with Jikoji about my being more dedicated to their ongoing needs. I researched and fixed the annoying BMW left brake light malfunction issue we've lived with for years. The bulb was not making firm contact with the metal on the holder. I did so in order to sell it. Tommy helped me wash it, I detailed the inside, and I posted it on FB marketplace. Moments later, an obvious scammer attempted to engage, but I shut them down. It sure sucks to have to deal with such circumstances. Ethics should be universal. Mom did well today, and she will get the cat back tomorrow. I hope that helps her focus on something rewarding.

Highlights: A quick coffee roasting effort following the same conditions yielded a dramatically different result. Maybe the forms are right about a visual assessment and a "hard stop" ending. Is there something more to test? Maybe. I have to pick my obsessions with time and priorities in mind. Speaking of "the Forum," we held our 3ʳᵈ Death cafe at the Forum in Los Altos, and it was the best so far. I am very encouraged by the experience and feedback so far. There will be more. I had a sincere and relatively open conversation beforehand with a good friend whose significant other has found themselves facing some daunting and potentially life-threatening medical issues. It's a complicated scenario for a wide range of reasons. It was a good, honest discussion. I felt grateful for the trust and the opportunity to hopefully use my exposure and experience to inform a friend who might benefit from my doing so. As for my mom, she thankfully did get sleep and is seemingly rebounding from the recent issues. She'll be getting the cat ( "roarshak") back Friday. I expect that to be a game changer for her daily routines in a very positive manner. Cat ladies need cats. It's as universal as all the other laws of physics. But for all of the moments that made today a positive one, hearing from Lauren that she had signed up for the Fall semester and would not take a semester off after all filled me with a great deal of relief. It sounds like more details may come when we have a visit again in mid-May. Of course, anything can and might change whatever has changed, and I plan to accept it as a path, not a destination. Our bi-weekly card game met with technical difficulties, but we managed to utilize the time to catch up. I managed to catch up on a few lingering tasks for Jikoji. It feels like forever since I last visited, and I look forward to doing so soon. I was planning on going on Friday, but Tommy's scheduled his wisdom teeth removal then, and I want to be available for that.

Insight: So much of what we experience is a perspective we adopt. 'Good' or 'Bad' is a choice. We define it as such and make that our reality.