Highlight(s): Got a 1m walk in before 9 which was great - used the time to dictate work related stuff and triage the day. Work was good but frustrating to have had a few snags in the sprint closing completely. Lunch w/BL was great - hoping his 2019 focus results in good outcomes. Shared some of my own ideas as to focus on a small set of core priorities. Working well for me, but takes focus and conscious effort. Tommy solo w/me in PM until 10 again. Managed him well – didn't get into the routine comments volley which was good. Spent PM time doing routine upkeep. Getting a bit irritated at kids and Jen as far as leaving clutter around - hot button for me.

Gratitude: Grateful to live close to my mom in her 80's. Topic came up at lunch and it'd be hard being so far away.

Goal: Keep up my daily walking/meditation efforts, and stretching too.

Anticipation: Looking fwd to talking to RP about 2019 plans.

Listened To: The Book (Alan Watts)

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Walking Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Good progress on collecting notes and summarizing possible options for work needs and forthcoming discussions. Worked from Crema for part of the day to break up routine. Cooked some Ribeye for dinner. Doing well on my Keto reboot. Got a book from Paula, "The Untethered Soul" and I will start it after I finish the other book. AirPods returned from Tommy were so low and flat sounding I was wondering what happened. With a bit of research and effort I cleaned a crap load of ear wax out and they're rockin' again.


Gratitude: I'm grateful that I'm still employed. Sometimes I feel so at risk.


Goal: Get more movement. Even indoor. Becoming sedentary again.


Anticipation: Putting full effort tomorrow to wrap sprint up.


Watched/Read/Listened To: Coen testimony. Stooges documentaries as background noise.


Accomplishments: Stretching Cleanup

Highlight(s): Good dialog with JJG about the pros/cons of outsourced dev work. Useful when discussing options w/my management. Focused on work needs for the day, running errands in the pm, and some aggressive whittling down of my media collection. 1st was the iTunes library - wiped out and rebuilt w/just the essentials. Now, same with movies/TV content. Killed off a shitload of stuff. Feels so good to just get the distractions out of the way. As much as I love "Toy Story" and so many other movies I don't need to have them stored on a server. if it's avail online and I want it, I can get it. I'll continue to whittle once I confirm, as I had to with music, what is/isn't readily accessible. But round one is done.

Gratitude: Grateful that although I lost my patience with Tommy not respecting my time and multiple requests to get out the door this AM, I know he knows I won't hold it against him. But I might withhold my AirPods for awhile.

Goal: Resume 1mile/day walks

Anticipation: Working somewhere out of the house tomorrow. It get's claustrophobic at times.

Watched/Read/Listened To some various content about Adolf Eichmann. Fascinating history.

Accomplishments: Meditation Cleanup

Highlight(s): Coffee at Philz w/Martin, Lauren at Leigh 5-10 for TheaterTech = solo w/Tommy. Watched "Operation Finale" which was actually quite interesting.

Gratitude: Glad I don't live in a time or place where politics include such extreme violence.

Goal: Hard core outsource focus for work tomorrow.

Anticipation: Catching up w/JJG over coffee

Watched: Operation Finale

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Lauren/Lindsey/I to SF for them to see Hamilton, Tommy spent the day doing Minecraft stuff with Colm. Snagged a great deal on a ticket and watched the play – 3rd time and wow, loved it all over again. So much going on, such a grand production, such a powerful story. Jen made broccoli beef (awesome). Spent 1:1 time in evening with both kids and really enjoyed talking to Lauren and seeing Tommy's Minecraft work.

Gratitude: I'm glad I was so fortunate to be in the right place at the right time and get that ticket. Fate stepped in.

Goal: Get some signifiant traction on the outsourcing ideas tomorrow

Anticipation: Making progress in Keto reboot

Listened To: Calm Masterclass on Screen Time

Accomplishments: Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Bottle Your Own Bordeaux @ Martin Ranch (fun but quick and too early in the day), followed by brunch at Bettie bistro (awesome) and wine tasting at Satori (w/Matt P at the helm). Great outing w/J and C, relatively spontaneous. Returned up Monterey Hwy as if 101 had not been extended. Groceries, TriTip and Corned Beef slow-cooked with Guinness (in a word… "Brilliant!". Who know? Likely all of Ireland, so I'm a bit behind on this one).

Gratitude: Where I live. SO many places to go, things to see and do.

Goal: Keto with a vengeance - need to get a good 7day effort in, starting tomorrow.

Anticipation: Lindsey/Lauren/I having lunch tomorrow before they see Hamilton

Accomplishments: Walking Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): Good work day. Nice sitting outside for a change. Managed to install low-flow shower and sink nozzles, and after heater went out YET again, as I was trying to reinstall the old I had the epiphany that I labeled the damned "C" wire with an "O" label and that's what's caused all the issues. FUNNY and if you look at the image it's and easy mistake. Damned "C" wire is even Orange while the others are all color coded/matched too. Easy but costly mistake.

Gratitude: I'm glad, this time around, I didn't pop a gasket over the heater dying.

Goal: Get back into reading and listening to motivational stuff, i've been off doing so for a week or so.

Anticipation: Martin Ranch Bottle Your Own tomorrow

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): Returned to mediation. Returned to work too, focused on getting some progress around a fragmented task. Heater resolved but root issue tied to short from AC so that'll be next to resolve.

Gratitude: Grateful to have heat, and resources to address heat loss. Glad it wasn't too cold overnight. Can't imagine living in the elements but then again, ancestors did and many still do. Odd to put into context.

Goal: Another good work focus tomorrow.

Anticipation: Sleep, please, oh please, sleep.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): BUSY day off : PTO day 2 w/kids. Tommy had football practice. Lauren/I at Matson for Fireplace cleaning. Tommy dropped by his mom due to communication snafu, which introduced issues. WiFi Smart Thermostat arrived. Installed, worked, stopped working, returned original which is also not working. Couldn't figure out how to open/resolve likely blown fuse. Blew fuse of my own. HATE this sort of scenario. Have to pay an HVAC guy to do this for me – install a fuse – argh. Good guy came by, returning w/fuse in the AM, hoping the cost is not over $100. Also, should have gotten a Nest, nothing else seems to have it's range of functionality. But I'm cutting losses and moving on.

Gratitude: So happy to hear Lauren laughing so much w/Jen tonight. Lauren made the 'fuse blowing' joke and it made my night. Good job rolling with my failure to roll with the punches.

Goal: Meditation is lacking and lack of meditation is impacting – get back on it.

Anticipation: Return to work tomorrow w/a vengeance.

Highlight(s): Tossed aside ambition to write all day. Ran some local errands and relaxed at home.

Gratitude: We rent from awesome people who've extended the lease with no increase and agreed to do a few things so we can enhance the next year+ here including the option to get a small dog. Wow. SO grateful to have found such a good pair of people to rent from.

Goal: Write this week since I didn't today.

Anticipation: Monterey with Tommy and Lauren tomorrow. Keep him safe, encourage his interest, enjoy the time with Lauren and have them back before sunset.

Watched: Latest Goldbergs and SNL. Neither were worth my time. Good reminder to keep TV off.

Accomplishments: Stretching Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): Crazy night in Napa: Difficulty sleeping, horrific leg cramp/spasm that ached for hours to follow, and a 2am earthquake. Was initially going to head home early but went to Biale Winery w/the crew anyway and it was great. Glad we stuck around. Got home around 4pm. Low key, no kids.

Gratitude: Love having somebody in my life that's so damned easy going and flexible.

Goal: Writing tomorrow. Lots, I hope. I have a backlog to clear.

Anticipation: Clearing out a list of nit-picky catchup to-do's.

Accomplishments: Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): dropped kids after getting Noah’s. Drove up to Napa - house rental visit with big dogs. Ehlers is a wonderful building, history and self-sustaining winery. Paraduxx was next. Steak dinner later at the house. Qhiplash. Super tired.

Highlight(s): Decent work day although I got some news about a colleague that's causing me concerns. Jen's away so I'm solo w/kids for the evening. Simple meal, quick GOBM run, and lazy evening.

Gratitude: I felt good about my engagement at work even though I have frustrations about things. I'm grateful to work w/a great team of dev's that are working together to make things improve each cycle.

Goal: Get a good sleep, it's still elluding me.

Anticipation: Looking fwd to a night away w/friend in Napa tomorrow.

Watched/Read/Listened To: More Death Cab for Cutie vid's and audio.

Accomplishments: Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Officially closed my Facebook account. Good work day but frustrated by not hitting sprint commits and by feeling micromanaged and micromanaging… but shit's not getting done and I don't like it. Kids and I went to Mom's after getting Ike's sandwiches ($6 Valentines Day deal). Setup AppleTV #2 (Patio) for use in Napa (Jen taking it up).

Goal: Try to have a decent day tomorrow at work doing retrospective. Be blunt and direct about areas of overload and areas of apathy or strolling page.

Anticipation: Night tomorrow w/out Jen = Kid time together - maybe a movie?

Accomplishments: Parenting

Highlight(s): Ended the night with a fire across Meridian, near Matson. Listened to dispatch while watching and seeing it reduce. Whew. Rain likely prevented it from being worse. Ended up WFH but put in a full aggressive day. Made salmon in Instant Pot w/caprese salad and a nice white from Therese Vineyards for dinner, then took a break and listened to lots of music via Bose headphones. Love good clear sound.

Gratitude: I'm glad I've never been subject to a home fire and the loss it could cause.

Goal: Put in another solid full work day tomorrow.

Anticipation: Looking fwd to seeing Jeff Schwartz for Philz, not thrilled about 7.30 but I can manage.

Watched/Read/Listened To: Listened to a slew of favorites as I rebuilt my 'life soundtrack' playlist.

Accomplishments: Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): Learned my friend's father passed, recognize that time is so fleeting. Pretty irritable for the day, but managed a decent work focus/effort. Completely purged iTunes library in order to remove bloat and utilize AppleMusic more. Setup closet shelves to make more of the limited space I have.

Gratitude: I'm glad my mom's still around, and I want to make the most of the time we have.

Goal: Keep aware of how time is limited.

Anticipation: A good day closing up most sprint activity.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): After dropping kids off and SCRUM, got a call from my mom asking to be taken to the hospital. Jumped on it. Turns out she'd had some stomach flu and gotten dehydrated. Worked remote to the best of my ability. At 80+ it's best to not take chances. Glad she's doing ok. Heard via kids that their uncle Jays doing fine but it sounds like the procedure was delayed. I don't know and won't likely be told. Meanwhile, Tommy may have resolved his drone video issues by returning to higher res.

Gratitude: It's freezing outside. I'm glad I have a warm home.

Goal: Break the habit of taking the phone it the bathroom. Get in, do your business, get it out.

Anticipation: Rack for closet arrives tomorrow. Looking fwd to some organization nirvana.

Watched/Read/Listened To: New John Mellencamp - like it.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Great day w/the kids after a snafu about meeting to get Lauren after they dropped Lucky at PetSmart. Linda en route to Roseville for Jay surgery. Stop at Frys (it's amazing how 'dead' retail really is). Went to Joseph Grant Park w/Mark and Vinnie to check out the show on the east foothills, stopped at Mark's Hot Dogs too. Tommy did drone stuff at Alta Vista. Returned to Matson for dinner and chilling out. Jen had been out/about all day.

Gratitude: Tommy showing great initiative around Math homework.

Watched/Read/Listened To: Zen and the Art...

Accomplishments: Walking Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Manresa Bread in Campbell for Verve coffee. Grocery shopping and aggressive house clean (I'm talking every single kitchen cabinet, appliance, the works). Cleaned my car and setup for wireless phone use vs USB cables. Updated my in-car thumb drive w/current content too. Ikea run and discussion brought us to the conclusion that we had to swap the living room and dining room - and we did. We'll see how it works for a week. Fun to try mixing things up.

Gratitude: I'm glad the TV is no longer the dominate force in my life. I still put some things on from time to time but it's a significant reduction and lessening still.

Goal: Daily journal is taking away from blogging. I need to make writing more substantive posts a higher priority.

Anticipation: Low key day w/kids tomorrow. Jen w/be out much of the day so we'll have the house to ourselves. Maybe go see a movie.

Accomplishments: Walking Mindfulness Cleanup

Highlight(s): Good onsite day, Emergency BBQ lunch. Got home and took my hair down to .5mm. Tennis-ball level. Fun but w/be better w/30lbs less. Caught up on to-do list task while watching a few "Planet Earth II" episodes, which were just amazing.

Gratitude: Glad to have hair that can grow back.

Goal: Aggressive home-cleaning effort tomorrow.

Anticipation: Looking fwd to going to Stanford tomorrow PM.

Watched/Read/Listened To: Zen and the Art…, and Oprah "Super Soul" w/Bradley Cooper talking meditation.

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness

Highlight(s): Decent work-day, good AM meeting. Good AM with both kids. Skipped GNO and maybe I should have gone, had a day+ worth of demands an irritations building up to a crescendo. I lost my cool but also regained it reasonably well. Spread thin and pushed is a trigger but I did my best to not snap completely. Still, slammed some shit around searching through garage for something and that's not who I want to be.

Gratitude: I'm glad I'm learning to breath and balance but I could start sooner.

Goal: One decent night's sleep.

Anticipation: RWC onsite tomorrow should be great. Excited. Really love having the team all together each week.

Watched/Read/Listened To: Watched and LOVED "In Defense of Food". Will watch again. SO informative.

Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching Cleanup

Highlight(s): All hands meeting was good and spur-of-the-moment huddle of exec tier re 2019 plans was encouraging. Kids to Aqui and to Mom's to visit for a while, good to see her, need to get over more frequently.

Gratitude: Glad my mom's doing relatively well for somebody who's turned 80, while others have faired worse. I hope I can make it to her age and be in her mentally strong condition.

Goal: Make it to 80 and be in my mom's relatively good condition.

Anticipation: Tomorrow exec team meeting - hoping for some sense of empowerment.

Watched/Read/Listened To: Zen and the Art of...

Accomplishments: Mindfulness Parenting Cleanup

Highlight(s): Got tires rotated at Costco early AM. Snow all around valley foothills, from Saratoga to East SJ. Pretty amazing. Work was OK but only C-level engagement. Tomorrow onsite and Thur/Fri too. Ran kids to Umunhum to see snow/fly drone. Drone footage not great - worried about the quality of the camera repair.

Gratitude: Kinda in a pissy mood atm. Grateful I don't have a worse commute to face daily.

Goal: Stop wasting time not making progress in specific areas of long-wasted time.

Anticipation: AudioBook time en route to/from work.

Watched/Read/Listened To: nothing today

Accomplishments: Meditation Walking Mindfulness Parenting Stretching

Highlight(s): Long drive into work but stellar meeting and engagement - excited for the follow up. 420PM not-so-good and decided to take a break. Do some homework. Missing the kids a lot, they're really both my greatest prides.

Gratitude: Allison's return to Care2 means renewed opportunity

Goal: Walk away from further distractions

Anticipation: My 2019 focus being 100% maintained

Watched/Read/Listened To: Zen & the Art..

Accomplishments: Meditation Mindfulness Reading

Highlight(s): Kids/I slept in, made 'em breakfast, dropped 'em at their mom's. Sold Tommy's Guitar. Went to Super Bowl party at Matt's. Fun but dull game and had I known I might have used the time for something else. Oh well. Fun being w/the crew all the same.

Watched/Read/Listened to: Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Gratitude: I think a lot about the value of my time and sometimes I feel guilty for not making more of it, but I'm actually grateful I think about it at all, as that's not always been a consideration.

Goal: Finish "Zen" book this week, with full attention, not divided.

Anticipation: Participation in exec meeting tomorrow discussing 2019

Accomplishments: Stretching Mindfulness Parenting

Kids once again doing theater work for Alta Vista's play - all day - 9am - 10pm. Local errands, lazy-day. Rains coming down hard this evening. Kids did great, had fun, and got recognition for their help from the leadership. I'm really proud of them. Next time around I want to volunteer to help too. I spent the day doing very little and since i'm going to Matt's for Super Bowl, I'll spend tomorrow doing some focused reading.

I got frustrated during the sprint retrospective because I feel like all autonomy is being stripped from me to manage my team in a way I see as effective for the business. I got grief and bullshit from Linda with accusations about sharing "parental" details with the kids which I haven't. And then Jennifer got pissed at me over the fact that I found Linda's behavior incredulous, which I would think is a good thing, but it seems it's not, because if I don't see things like she does, I'm somehow at fault. I am not. And I'm not wasting my life any more feeling like I screwed up. Changing myself to meet other people's expectations does not work.



On a positive note, I didn't lose my job, get in an accident, incur some unexpected cost, or have any 'real' drama or trauma to deal with. And the kids have been wonderful tonight, again, which is really rewarding. I may have some frustrations but I'm still really lucky to have what I have.



Accomplishments: Meditation Stretching WorkFocus Parenting Cleanup