As Long As One And One Is Two

 I wanted to take a minute to write about Lauren. I want to capture for her, to read as an adult, what a joy she is to me. I love both of my kids equally, without any bias as to the level of adoration and importance they are to me. One of them is simply more challenging, while the other makes the challenge more bearable by being an absolute joy and treasure. Yes, she has her moments of temper and tantrums but with more infrequently than I do. So she's ahead of my own maturity at that level. Her laughter, her love, her texts, her calling me "dazzlings", and her absolutely unique and independent character are a treasure to witness and enjoy. She's strong in that she's mature enough to separate her love and tolerance for the environmental issues she faces in the house from her mom and brother. She's accommodating and giving to a fault. Lauren's presence around others, like my mom and Jennifer, are moments of great pleasure too because she shows them a side of get that I don't get to see directly but I love watching from afar. She's far more talkative and emotive and prone to embellishments. She's a storyteller and a comic and a sensitive individual too. She's genuine. I expect still that a time may come when dad is seen as the one who puts restrictions or scares boyfriends or makes it difficult to get away with things. At the same time, I think now, at almost 14, she's not hit it yet, so if and when it does happen, it might be moderate.

"I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
There could never be a father loved his daughter more than I love you."
- Paul Simon "Father And Daughter"

As If No Part Of Your Life Is Up To You

“For somebody that says they miss me you certainly don’t want to be at home with me.” I said, in response to the 30 minutes of dismissive and argumentative tones I’d endured from this 13yr old sitting beside me. I’d brought him a “Walking Dead” keychain that I'd ordered especially for him, and which I’m anticipating a nastygram text message from his mother about, any minute. I showed him the two baseball caps I’d picked up for his use, army green and a deep burgundy red, so he had some options available here, and I excitedly walked him to the side of the house where I’d set the bike I bought the day before, so he’d have an option to bike when with me.

“I don’t want to be at your home, I want you home with us.” came his reply.