It's a been a few days between posts. I'm wrestling with a lot. Tommy's unbelievable treatment of me, the changes going on for Linda, the demands on my time, and more. I crashed hard last night after a sleepless night beforehand. Had the 2nd MOHS surgery on my face. It went well, nothing as traumatic as the first was. The codine-tylenol helped with that. It was good to finally sleep. The stress of everything is starting to feel like PTSD. One of my daily podcast selections are focusing on "giving" this week, and the reasons behind how and why people choose to help others. I want to look deeper into that. I also need to balance how much I take on. I got Lauren from work at 2.30 and dropped my iPhone 7 off at Apple store for a new battery and new screen. It's a great phone still, my needs are more than covered by it, so it was worth the modest investment to extend the battery life and I figured I'd just get the cracked-but-functional screen replaced once and for all. Kathy reached out about Linda's worsening condition and wanted to talk about what I though her funeral wishes might be. It's surreal to be considering that, this all still feels so inconceivable. But it's real and will be getting really real, real soon. I'm trying to keep the kids conscious of that but I know they each have their own views, perspectives and struggles. Perhaps I should focus more on "being there when they're ready" vs trying to initiate conversations. We did have a very pleasant time w/her at SRC tonight w/the wine and cheese and several friends came too. Still, at several points, she looked at me in a way that felt like an acknowledgement that her life has taken a drastic and dramatic turn. I suspect she's also terrified about the unknown. I had a pretty direct response to some text messages posted by KV this am to the group thread, implying that my comments upset her and I should pretend all will be ok. I made a point of clarifying things and the need to move from false hope to compassion and support. Jen and I went ot Mark and Wendy's to hang out and catch up. It was pleasant and a nice break. Jen needed it right then more than I did, she's cooped up and the chance to socialize was not to be missed. The night ended w/us returning and she and the kids having a really warm genuine exchanged filled with laughter. It struck me that I did not recall having such an environment with Linda and the kids, ever. It was just a very different dynamic with what felt like more pressure and expectations and such. It's just weird to notice how different two people can be and what those difference bring or take from another's experience.