My son borrowed it to go camping with friends and returned last night. He returned refreshed and in good spirits, which was great because he needed that. And today, he was gone most of the day doing work at "ExtraHour" and playing hockey. When he returned, and while we were coordinating a trip together to Costco, I asked if he would clear the camping gear out of the car, and he said, "I'll try," which typically means he'll delay it awhile because he has other priorities. Right afterward, he walked by us both, and we gasped for air because he'd been working out, and he stunk. So bad that I didn't want him stinking up the BMW, so I said, "We're taking the CRV," and he asked why, so I told him. Very diplomatically, very "matter-of-factly," that we didn't want to stink up the BMW. He got indignant, called me a "C**T" twice, amongst other things, and walked into the house and closed the door.
W.T.F.? How in any realm of practical reality was I deserving of that? I even tried saying, "if you want to take a quick shower, we will wait," but that went unheard.
I don't deserve this. At all. I do all I can to support him in every way possible, and this is how he responds.
Since he wasn't willing to commit to returning the gear, I did it. And I told him he couldn't use my car until Thursday at the earliest. As I cleared out the car, I found a partially smoked cigar and three condoms (packaged, thank God!) in my Honda CRV's center console.
I left it in his room with the rest of his gear.
When he returned home, he said, "why are their condoms and a cigar in my room." I told him where I found them and put them in there along with the rest of his stuff from the car.
He didn't discuss it further, and I'm leaving it alone. Do I think they're his? I don't know, but if they are, good on him for being safe. I can't be a hypocrite about this. He's 17; it's going to happen. He's not a smoker, though. But I can imagine a scenario where there was a cigar at the campsite; that too could happen.
My more significant issue is how poorly he treats me. The complete lack of consideration for my belongings and the unwarranted use of such heinous language is inexcusable. He had devastated his mom with this sort of verbal abuse, and now he's crushing me.
I'm raw and worn down by all that's already going on. I can't sleep or function well anymore. I don't need this. I'm sure he is having a hard time dealing with these circumstances too. But he's not helping either of us.