Pretty awful night last night. Major discomfort and bloated stomach. Miserable. Tried to get comfortable and could not. Only by switching sides w/Jen and getting more elevation for my head helped and that took awhile too. As I laid there I considered the idea of being ill, hospitalized, unable to do much of anything about it, and just suffering. I don't want that to be a reality especially if it's something I can avoid with more discipline. Decided last night/early morning that I'd put aside some bad habits for the long haul. Hard alcohol just doesn't agree with me. I don't like the effects of pot either, so my 'vice' options are narrowing to wine, which works for me. I set out and took my open bottles (sans the Screwball which I'll give to Mark) to Matt's for him to enjoy while I take a 'recovery' break from the ill effects. Lauren fed the dogs for the last time before their owners returned and we got a bagel at Panera before I dropped her at work. It was busy and bustling and felt like 'old times' pre-pandemic. She did some neighborhood driving, he 2nd time, and did well but also locked up a bit when we tried going onto union. It's good that she's being cautious. It'll all come with time. Jen and I ran a few errands and she dropped me at Pano so I could get the Pilot, which I'll be using as a fallback for the instances that Tommy needs the CRV. He returned from Catalina after our dinner plans so we left the CRV for him at LGPC. Lauren and I went to her mom's apartment after her work shift ended and Linda suggested going outside which was a total surprise, and we did. I wrote to her sister voicing concern about her well being and cognitive issues. It's really hard to witness and recognize the limitations, suffering and also to imagine the frustrations of the situation for her too. It would be, for me, like losing my memory but knowing It was happening and having no control. Lauren's still not fully cognoscenti of the magnitude of this but I'm glad she's going so often and spending the time. I'm going to try and get them both there tomorrow, maybe get out again too. We had dinner at Matt B's with Steve and Diana, Gene and Bobbie, Brent, Kim, Dave and Marie. Great seeing them all again. Another 'like old times' moment. Diana was super supportive and encouraging about the kids situation and my efforts for them. That meant a lot. Very sincere, considering her own experience with her sister 14yrs prior. Jennifer was right there with me and has been too. I'm so grateful for her support through this. We had a great time, enjoyed some good wine, food and conversation. Tommy was asleep by the time we returned so I'll see him in the am before I head to my mediation outing at Jikoji. Played a bit more with "Spacial Audio" and decided to turn it off. Some hits, some misses, and the misses are enough to not justify the hits.
