I've been toying with mixing up my routine, doing writing in the AM, and meditation at night. By the end of the day, I feel like I just 'force' out some generalized breakdown of the day instead of doing something more extensive. I used to write 'pieces' with focus and objectives, but I'm faltering there. I have been for some time. Life's passing me by as. I wait for something other than my own discipline to change. It feels that way with health, weight, work, parenting, most everything. I'm not getting what I want to get done, done. One thing I did notice though is that my mornings are filled with more writing ideas and inspiration than the evenings. I thought I'd change that routine but after a day or two, I'm pretty sure that's not the right move. What I need to do is maintain the routine that worked. With all that's going on, keeping things simple and not putting more pressure on myself feels right. I might not be writing as much or as deeply but that I'm writing at all is rewarding in and of itself. Took Lauren to Tom/Danise's house for dog feeding and back to work. Decent 1st 1/2 of the day but I faded in the afternoon. Lauren worked 11-4.45. I got some great news from scouts about Tommy "stepping it up" at Catalina and taking an active leadership role that got him promoted to SPL level. Two people called this out in text and email. I wrote him congratulations from Jen and I and I'm so proud of him. It's odd how my daily routine can be filled with frustrations but perhaps that's just the dynamic of parents or learned behavior on both of our parts. But I love him and I'm proud of him. I'm proud of Lauren, too, who got some great recognition at work, was put in a leadership role for a short period and it sounds like she's on her way to having more hours too. We brought AQUI home and I downed a Manhattan Swirl way to quickly. Man, I feel sick now. Still. It really knocked me out. I did get Lauren to Pano for the last dog walk (I think) thank God. I was too wiped to join her, and laid on the couch in Pano until she returned. She found a BMW of interest and at first, I pressed against seeing it but changed my tune. We're passing through, too far away and too soon. There are too many unknowns and she should be poised and ready to drive and have cash in hand before we do that. Read more of the Anthropocene Reviewed, the book Tabitha sent me. I'm liking it, it's something that resonates with me. It's also inspirational as far as wanting to write more. Maybe that'll move the needle for me. Bug zapped June bugs much to Scottie and Lucky's chagrin. Lucky attached the zapper! Wild. Had a pleasant evening even though the drink messed me up, physically. It's another case of knowing better but not acting better. WTF am I doing? Just trying to maintain, really. Just trying to maintain. Oh, greatly enjoyed losing myself in the "Dolby Atmos" releases and remixed Beatles recordings. It's fun hearing things I missed before.
