So Close, And Yet So Far

I got her response to my final proposal. It’s not being accepted, at least not the tax-related concessions for 2018. Thus, the house is going to need to be sold because of her shortsighted stance. I’ll make the best of it for myself and the kids. I'll put the proceeds towards getting a place near their current home and school, while they finish attending, keeping them near their friends too. She’s a fucking idiot. Clueless, entitled, ignorant and self-obsessed. She fails to comprehend or accept her own role as an adult and a parent, and the need to sacrifice for her kids, and what losing the house will result in for her. I’m continuously stunned. What’s worst is that I'm still continuously stunned. How many fucking times do I have to hit my head against this wall before I realize it's a fucking wall, and nothing will change that. Ever.

I'm tired of writing about this. And have better things to focus on. I want and need to put this behind me, but it's not yet, and writing about this helps me process it all. Or at least it should. I don't know for sure since I'm still 'stunned' as mentioned above. BUT for the sake of venting and my sanity and for capturing this insanity, here’s how things break down, in very simple terms:

The tax implications for me prevent me from having enough post-tax income to uphold two households unless we follow the proposal I sent her, which enables us to do so, and both benefit. 

I am willing to agree to pay support based on court direction. That takes numerous factors into account. Spousal support ($2k/month) is based on the marital standard of living as of 2013 and is taxable. Child-support is based on my current earnings ($1800/month and it is non-taxable). 

Those support payments alone ($3800/month) are not enough for us to keep the house if she's expected to pay the mortgage and taxes and insurance in full out of it. Thus, in the interest of keeping the home for the sake of the kids, my additional offer was to split the mortgage, insurance, and property tax 50/50. That's at least another $2700+ with increasing property taxes and such. Putting the total at $6500/month just going into the home/kids/her. Plus she has her part time income of ~$1300/month on top of that. 

In my proposal, I get the mortgage interest write-off, she takes the property tax write-off. Our taking those respective write-offs allows us to both significantly reduce our taxes, which is needed in order to keep the house on what amounts to a single income. This is the only way my income alone can cover that. I still end up paying taxes, but less. 

Her low salary, her low spousal support, and her property tax write-off will absolutely net her a tax refund. She could also adjust her withholding‘s so she'd bring home more each pay cycle vs a big refund each April, but that’s up to her. 

Also, If I receive any bonuses, she will get ~50% of the NET amount. 

Additionally, If all of this proves insufficient to reasonably maintain the household, I said I would provide additional funds, but I want to get those back out of the top of the sale of the house, just like she's taking her inheritance funds back out. The only funds she ever put into anything in 20 years. 

Once the kids turn 19 (not 18) I stop paying child support, but will increase spousal support to $4000 a month support, until she's 67. 

She will get my Social Security when I die, too. Which, at this rate, she's accelerating, to her ultimate loss. Because without my income, she and my kids are fucked. 

You'd think she'd factor all this in. You'd think she'd look at how little she's done in the past 6 let alone 20 years to be a contributing factor in our financial needs, and she'd be grateful for what she's had and the character I've had throughout this.

You'd be wrong.

Just like I've been.

Don't look so "stunned".