Highlights: The momentum of Jennifer rising for her morning hike and my SAD lamp brightening up the room helped nudge me up and out the door and up to the Zen Center. It's "men's week" there: Oshin, Tom, and Jesse are the residents on site. I picked up, set up, and handed off the flip phone to my mom, but only after 2 hours of instruction and continued realization that a lot of assumptions go into the term "simple". Cardz with the usual suspects. Finishing part one of the Mel Brooks documentary. AND our neighborhood fox friend is back, yelping recursively in search of a mate.
Insights: I found, within the morning meditation, something of an epiphany. A stronger awareness of prior insights than I've had to date, surrounding the futility of being upset about anything being anything other than what it is. This ties into the teachings related to the two arrows: the suffering of unmet expectations, desires, wants, or circumstances. For example I wrestle with Tommy and his lack of consideration, my mom's cell phone issues, the uncertainty of our financial future. Yet, all of that is pointless. My focus needs to be on letting go of expectations. It's all just thought surrounding what I think it should be. And why do I even think anything "should be" any particular way? That's a self-inflicted second arrow. What I accept, what I make peace with, are paths to avoiding suffering over something that my suffering does not change.