The clear colonoscopy was a relief. It's not as if I was there for anything other than a screening, but I have to assume many people who find the have colon cancer do so without anticipating it. The survival rate is high, too, but as one checks in and initials a stream of waivers and releases, a concession to the multitude of risks, it can inspire the trigger wends in the small type to swell and pulse. Cancer. Puncture. Surgery. Missed. Death. All the while, though, with calm awareness and a blood pressure reading of 156 (high), I resigned myself to the lack of control beyond the trust in the medical team. And they were wonderful. exceptional. I want to go back just to banter with them. All was clear and I even scored a "9 "on my BBPS rating. the best possible score! Something seems to be eating at Tommy but I am giving him space while doing what I can to be supportive. It could be the overload of work and school or the idea of moving out at some point (but we did say we want him to graduate and that's another year). Maybe it's something else. He doesn't share alot and I tend to fill in the blanks with all the wrong assumptions. I am learning to not push and more so to not read into anxiety as a push against me. My efforts to shift gears, too/and workflow wise, continued and remain a challenge, but not a doubt. I see a good opportunity to reclaim time. one on that later. I started watching "Anselm" while on the eliptical and it worked well. The movie. is stunning, complex, human, brave, and very "Newhall.". I am looking forward to completing it tomorrow.