Morning Mindset: Positively resolved to indecision. Torn with some left/right choices. Conflicted by avoidance and necessity, where balancing impact and intension are my priority one moment and irrelevant the next. It keeps coming back to release of control. I'm also getting more indication that Lauren's legacy view of her childhood is likely far more neutral and unbiased as my own. Listening to her I question not only if, how and when I missed a queue or dropped a ball, as well as how often and how far. Trying to stay mindful of the baseline if intention and energy when outcome and disappointment are factors is like tracking a single leaf through turbulent rapids. It's easy to lose sight of it. And I'm tasked with the hope that one large boulder heaved into those waters might somehow calm the intensity without simple redirecting it elsewhere.
Goals: play it by ear today. Don't force anything. Let it be organic.
Anticipation: tonight's Tri-tip dinner on a surface level. Not tipping the boat on a personal and philosophical one.
Wants: Satisfaction with my choices. including cool time and temperature. 🙂
