Mindset: Introspective intrigue. After an evening spent recognizing that the path ahead is leading me to a place where I expect to find a way to balance some of my inner demons, they attempted a coup. Between the ask to borrow the BMW, my reflex judgments, and the dog's presence between Jen and me, irritation, offense, and anger all struggled to take the wheel. In those moments, I recognized how ingrained the nature, or my particular habits and insecurities, are. Yet I managed it, with only a modest bit of weaving visible in the brief moments where I had to keep my eyes on the road and resist releasing my control. It worked. I attribute that to having just spent time considering all of my aspirations. I was ready, not caught off guard, and these were petty annoyances, not significant concerns. I still count it as a win and an affirmation of intention and capability. I got up in time to join deep bow for a morning meditation. I am considering ways to maintain the onsite routine, so that when I am in person, I am in harmony. It's interesting to think through the aspects of this journey and realize that the routines I found foreign a little over a year ago are now seen as a way to focus on a goal I have had for decades - setting aside time each day to consider my priorities and choices to be aware of things most in need of my time and attention. I don't mean yard work, dishes and an oil change. I mean where I can make a difference in my attitude and actions that might move our collective experience toward more connection, compassion, and humanity, within my minuscule circle of influence. Yet the dishes keep getting in the way.
