Lauren came down from Sacramento on an early train, arriving in time for us to have breakfast at Los Gatos Cafe. It has been a relatively routine experience most of their lives, albeit having started with their mom for most of their lives until her own conclusion. We drove to SF, putzed around Fisherman's Wharf, stopped in Little Italy, and returned home mid-afternoon. Lauren and I went to Madrona, where I had a moment to reflect on their origin, all that went into it occurring and all that followed over the past twenty years of significant change and life experiences. We had a fantastic dinner at Namaste in Los Gatos, then visited my mom/their grandma and returned home to play Farkle (after Lauren had a brief visit with her good friend Elisa).
It felt right. It all felt right. It felt like a milestone I recognized and took in entirely. It's indeed been a life-changing two decades, almost divided into two 10-year segments of our life as a family unit with their mom, and the second half being the separation, divorce, my relationship with Jennifer and living at Matson, through their mom's passing and our returning to Panorama.
I love them dearly. I deeply regret that their mom passed away so young and missed the opportunity to see this day and beyond with them. It's a brutal reminder of the harsh reality of the precious fragility of life. I also have the deepest gratitude that the relationship I found with Jennifer has been one that's provided compassionate support to them throughout that awful experience and beyond, providing them with a step-parent with whom they have their independent connections.
As I watched them both today, I recalled the 1st day of their life and the many moments that were as significant in my evolution and maturation as they were for them. Seeing the people they are now after witnessing and influencing their characters for 20 years is breathtakingly bittersweet. There are so many things I wish I had done better, but I could not love them more and can only hope they'll grow to recognize and understand their value to me and in my life.
Happy Birthday, kids. I mean, adults. Thank you for the past twenty. I hope we find this is the midpoint in our shared journey, and we have another twenty ahead.