> Another all around wonderful day with so many moments of significant simple grace and synergy. I got up, got sun, and even got a 1.75 mile walk in solo while listening to a podcast and attempting to try dictation with moderate success. Jen and I walked the dogs and had a great conversation about the whole situation with with her mom. I realized as we talked that my I was more upset by her continued disregard for herself than that of her mom, in that she's routinely expecting something other than 'what is' and I have had my own battles with that same scenario. It's all 'thought' really, in the grand scheme of things all this upset is tied to perception and the idea that something should be what it's not. Accepting what it is, for what it is, and letting go of wanting it to be otherwise, is a hard task. The podcast this am referenced how anger is really an expression of heartbreak. How fitting. Yet in the end all this upset does nothing to change the situation. For Jen though, the situation changed this afternoon. Her brother pressed her dad on things and her mom's stroke has given Jen a reasoning for finding that balance. They said she is no longer congntivley function and has limited ability to process things. That affords Jennifer a baseline to work from in understanding the nature of what is, including her mom's lifelong disconnect being simply who she is, but now with a diagnosis that puts her current actions into a narrative that explains it. It's a bit of a hack in a way, but it's a path that's opened and she needs it. I actually think this is an ideal scenario and far better than a sudden passing without any possible closure, at least in the manner in which we tend to desire for our own comfort and comprehension. Jen's going up tomorrow to see her Dad and I am very happy for her to be doing so. We attended Music in the Park with friend and unlike prior outings the sound was such that it was impossible to hear anybody or make out the music. It was over-cranked and muddy. I just rode it out but could not engage. We had friends over after and had a great evening outside talking and laughing. Velma and Kelly are such interesting people and we always have wonderful conversations. The night ended with the garage door opener literally breaking - the car oopped off and shot across the room. I'm glad it's summer and not an urgent fix. I'll do some research and decide how to go about replacing myself or perhaps hire somebody to install it. TBD. 1st world problem. Oh and I got the artwork part of the Jikoji fundraiser addressed too, that felt gratifying.
