Mindset: Observant. A few reminders over the past 12+ hours have me mindful of and recognizing the difference between routine reflex interaction and awareness of the transitory nature of everything happening around me. Watching and witnessing a man's aggressively angry emotional expressions at a bus stop across from Voyager coffee triggered anxiety, empathy and discomfort. Detachment too. Classifying him as 'crazy' or having mental issues seems logical from the realm of our social construct and us/them boundaries but at the same time I felt sorry for what I recognized as feelings I've experienced too. Even expressed to a more subtle degree, less public and disruptive, but I've felt anger, abandonment, rage, unjust circumstances. I've been a cause of such in others too. Where's the line then between us/them? It's a challenging observation. Another situation has been the awareness of the intentional coordinated death of a zen priest in Oregon that's connected to Jikoji's Sanga. It's been a reminder of our collective impermanence as well as an example of how people's connections to others are very tied to 'this level of existence'. This news brought a level of somber recognition of 'endings' in a space that's seemingly focused on a deeper view of higher consciousness. One other observation of late was my reflex bristling at having some 'corrects' sent my way regarding a newsletter draft. Something I listened to the other day touched on how 'constructive feedback' can trigger a sense of failure or incompetence and of judgement of our abilities. It's something I've wrestled with for decades. Yet I'm eager to share my own observations when I note a double-space after a period, for example, or a typo, without ill intent at all. Perhaps my assumptions are projections of my own self doubt. OK… I guess that's enough… I recall mentioning a return to navel gazing in a recent text thread with friends and this confirms it. :-)
Goals: Continued focus on ketosis, send the newsletter, enjoy Lauren's visit with presence in the opportunity over distractions of what's not getting done otherwise.
Anticipation: Movie to avoid the heat?
Wants: Less time finishing things left unfinished due to starting something else. Less attachment to being the only one why can do something they way I want it, or even thinking that the way I want it is the right way at all. More deeper connection and conversations with others. More laughter. More putting insight into action than being focused on continually seeking further insight. And of course, world peace, and a pony.
