My second full day at this meditation retreat started pretty much the same as the prior one. But I will admit that I am a little more attuned to and less resistant to the opportunity to just slow the fuck down. Seriously. I feel the compulsion still to be "in action mode" around a list of things I feel ownership of. Yet that distracts from the whole purpose of being here: To take a break and focus on my own well-being. I am becoming more and more aware, daily, of how I am seeking out and acting on distractions as an avoidance. Why would I do that if allowed to be relieved of that? Part of it is about my comfort zone, part of it is obligation and part of it is self-worth. All areas I am aware of and working on. As is expected. We are never "done" improving. At this point, I am pretty much "Zen' d "out. I am glad I did this, and just as my time at Jikoji led me down paths of new opportunities and insight, so has this. Now I want to start applying the things I have learned, re-learned, or reinforced in my next chapter. 2023 has already been a year of substantial transition, and that will certainly continue, at least until my next career path and revenue stream have been established sufficiently, and I have mere confidence in the road into and thru 2024. I shared with Jennifer that I want "what's next" for each of us to be simply enjoying whatever we do to be financially stable and evolve and maintain our home to be a space of complete comfort and relaxation. A place we would choose to return to for a getaway vacation did we not already live there. Spring is upon us, and Summer comes next, so I intend to start immediately on making the changes needed for that vision to become a reality.
