Today was awful, I'm sorry to say. But also intensely rewarding in a wide range of ways that I'll hopefully write about elsewhere, soon. Today's routine went well, and after some work meetings I went to Panorama. I had a good 1:1 with Dan. I was present for the return of her furniture from SRC. I 1/2 filled a recycling bin with a shitload of the many MANY mugs, glasses, vases, cups and other assorted shit that was overloading the cupboards. It was hard, in that I hated destroying so many things that somebody else might use. But I don't have the time to manage making that happen. I did consciously and intentionally consider each item and I did keep a handful of things that I believe might have value to the kids. I barely made a dent, really. There is so much more. But it's a start. I then went to SRC to visit Linda and work from her room for the afternoon. Given the reports from the prior day about how well she was doing, I wanted to get in and spend time and observe things. It was awful. I've not seen her this bad before, at all. I fed her lunch and tried to engage in any dialog but she was back to repeating partial sentences. I tested her memory and she struggled to recall even the simplest and inherently ingrained things including the names of her kids. Maybe she was just fully 'check out' and in a state of brain freeze. It was so bad I started to worry about her passing away then and there. I called the kids and encouraged them to come, saying 'she is not dying but she is definitely declining' They saw it too. Golida came and saw it as well. Kirsten texted her and I noticed it and texted her from my phone with the news. She was of course shocked deeply. At the end of the night I felt like both kids were home, safe, loved and supported by Jen and I though this. It felt rewarding. I hope they will navigate the road ahead knowing there is still a road ahead beyond this one.