Saturday. Jen spent the AM packing for her Tucson trip while I ran Tommy to Carmax for an A4 test drive. We got Lauren and dropped her at Vasona for her 12-6 shift. Lindsey gave me a heads-up that Curd Production was under way so I jetted by mom's to get some and we ended up getting food and handling out for quite awhile. Tommy got to hear her unfiltered opinions about some extended family but I think he's at the age where he'll make up his own mind. I"m watching them both mature in significant ways of late. Perhaps the trauma of the news about their mom has forced some realities. How could it not? It takes time to process, and who knows how long for each of them that might be. It's a lifetime scar they're obtaining, with few if any competitions for significance. I'm feeling it too, in ways, as she's slowing sharing a bit more fear and anxiety. She's referencing elusive answers from medical professionals and upsetting details from caregivers who've attended to similar patients in their past. How they thing that help is beyond me. I'm being sincere and supportive and encouraging while trying to be as honest as she will allow me to be. Which is not a lot. The way she can worry is prohibiting her from having insight and understanding that could fuel a whole different dynamic. Still, I see and hear the fear and worry, the frighten person wanting only constant reassurances, and it's both heartbreaking and rewarding to be this involved and trusted. This evening and I drove Jen to Sunol to start her trip. Tommy was sincerely saying how much he was going to mis her. I will too. We all will. We returned, dropped Tommy at Pano and Lauren and I watched Grey's Anatomy and The Shift together. I enjoyed them. I though the writing was simplistic and routine and the acting felt 'routine' as well when it comes to medical dramas….but there were some schmaltzy but genuine moments of reflections on life & death, love & hope, and shared humanity that really struck a chord for me. Maybe I've been too isolated in the past few years to remember that I'm not alone in having aspirations of this sort.
