I'm increasingly disconnecting from things – work, to-do tasks, following through on commitments, staying up on paperwork and such. I'm just in a funky mindset of doing nothing. I think in some ways I've sorta shut down after finding myself in old routines, balancing old wounds with new. I've had some more honest conversations with Kathy, wherein the honestly goes both ways as to the realities at play. I'm seeing this again as the calm before the storm. The stark nature of the ailment and prognosis can be easily overlooked when there's seemingly positive progress, and when the humanity of the individual overrides the reality of the time limits we all have to face sooner or later. Tonight is the last night the kids mom will stay in pano for awhile, perhaps forever. That's a jarring realization to really take in. She's expecting to return and I and others are encouraging that as a goal, and it's possible but not probable that she will get to return but it's more likely she won't. I hate "knowing that" and concealing it. For the moment my focus remains on doing what I can to help make the next steps, the duration of treatment and hopefully productive PT and rehab. Once that's done and further assessments are done, I guess we'll know more about how this will play out. Tomorrow, though, things will change at Matson as Lauren returns full time again. I'm excited about that and know we'll have a positive environment because of it. And lucky will have her back too. Jen and I made a dinner she planned together, enjoyed it quietly, relaxed on the couch a bit then Tommy came back unexpectedly. He said he was staying at Pano this last night but for some reason changed his mind.