To make a point about things done out of routine without ever evolving, I often reference the analogy of a woman who cuts the end of the ham off before baking it. The story goes as follows; "a husband notices that his wife cut the ends of the ham off when she cooks them. He asks her why. She says that she does not know, it's just how her mother didn't. She called her mother and ask her mother the same question. Her mother replies that she doesn't know either, that's how her mother did it too. The daughter called the grandmother and asked why she cut the end of the ham off when she cooked it. The grandmother said "because my pan was too small”.
I mention this because I used that reference today when talking to a representative at the Department of Motor Vehicles. The DMV. The place where reason goes to die.When I was got diagnosed with GBS and arrived at the rehabilitation facility, one of their default actions is to notify the DMV that I was incapacitated, and my license automatically got suspended. The revoking of the suspension, as crazy as it seems, can't simply be the doctor telling them that I'm okay now. I went through that. In fact at the end of the two weeks, when I left rehab,I was ok to drive, and the doctor agreed. But unfortunately the paperwork had been submitted and the process has started. The Orwellian nightmare was about to commence.
As a fan of the movie Brazil, the folly of process, paperwork and bureaucracy does not fall lightly on me. I hold a great deal of disdain for anything that can't be re-examined and refine to be more effective and streamlined. And that is the essence is the DMV.
After my paperwork was faxed to them on February 13, which I have confirmed with the DMV at their date of receipt, the "review "began. I was told it would take about a week and that I should check back. I checked back yesterday, two weeks after the fact, and was told that the paperwork has been received. And now… only now, upon calling them to find out what’s going on, do I learn that I have been scheduled for an appointment on March 13th to meet with somebody at the DMV office to discuss my license being unsuspended. A full 30 days after they receive the doctors clear and concise notification that I was rehabilitated and fully capable of driving!
I talked calmly, but with some frustration, to the representative on the other end of the phone, explaining that they have the release from the doctor. I don't understand why they needed to see me or talk to me. She said that they needed to interview me. I said " Hey, I'm on the phone with you right now, what questions do you have? I would be more than happy to answer them. Otherwise can't somebody just call me? What's the point of my having to go down there?"
I explained to her that I work in Redwood City, that I have a full-time job, and an obligation to provide for my family as the sole income. I explained that I had to drive illegally, not go to work, or inconvenience friends and family on a daily basis for a full month to drive me to and from work so I would not be at risk of being stopped by a cop and having to pay hundreds of dollars in a fine because I was driving with a suspended license.
None of this makes any sense. There's no reason I need to go to the DMV besides the fact that they have an antiquated process insisting that I sit across the table from somebody who's going to look at the paperwork in front of them, finally, look at me, say "looks good to me" and stamp his approval. Because that’s how his grandfather did it.