This trip to see Steve and Diana with Matt has been a good one. I had been struggling with the timing and navigating the emotion and drama surrounding Tommy's eviction. It has helped me get some much-needed space and reminders of how little of my full identity is contained in this incident and this individual. That's not meant to be at all dismissive of my deep attachment and genuine love for him. It's simply not all I am, have been or can be. To have spent so much of my time and energy trying to make sense of and influence change in anyone other than me feels like an abandonment of my own ideology. How I respond, including walking away from abuse and disrespect solely for the fact that I will not tolerate it in any manner, models integrity and self-respect.