Highlights: Being awake until past 3 AM means having had less than 4 hours of sleep. I intended to return to sleep in, yet, as is typical, if I wake up halfway, I can't reverse the direction. Instead, with a tray between us, I spent the morning sharing a solo coffee mug with Jen. I read and wrote as she worked on her own project. I set about following through on my repeatedly delayed plan to take down the Christmas lights and getting the storage bins down so she could tackle the tree. My mom's blood work today was on par with the usual results-all is stable with the AML, yet she seems to be struggling all the same with the physical limitations and isolation. Jen and I need to visit this week, maybe Wednesday, with a bag of goodies from Trader Joe's. After working out this afternoon, I set about attending to a set of website and newsletter tasks before a 30-minute elliptical session, giving "Bored to Death" a chance based on Matt's recommendation. It's fine, but not worth my time. My time is becoming increasingly valuable. I spent time last night and tonight reading Steve's book to Jen. That is where I find that investing time yields high-value returns.
Insights: If I am awake at 12:01, does that mark the start of my day? An overindulgence in caffeine and the incorrect assumption that Tommy bought a new car fueled my mind and body's resistance to following the routine protocols. I began to plot the pros and cons of renting our house out, working out the possible gains we might see while we lived with and attended to what seems likely to be my mother's last year. Bringing in the first of Linda's remaining sets of inherited dishes, silverware, and other assorted items from the garage started my mind down an odd path of resignation. I have a lot of legacy Patterson and DeMortiere property stashed away in much the same ways she had for some 30 years or so. Only they were her history, not mine. The only thing that mattered to me was that they mattered to her. So here I am now in sole possession of most of what she left behind. Her sisters did not want it. They took an item or two the day after her burial, and repeatedly passed on my requests they take more. This stuff all falls in that middle ground between being so unlikely to sell for nearly enough to make it worth all the time it would take, and having at least the potential to let us have a nice dinner at one of our favorite spots. Tomorrow I will start making decisions and taking action to clear it out. But late last night, well, I wanted to go out to the dining room and start throwing out the wine glasses we'd argued over when she wanted to "register" for wedding gifts at Macy's. I actually like the glasses we got in part because I had refused to go the heavy-cut-crystal route. Stll, it feels like it is time to clean house, discard all but the core true essentials, and start fresh. We have at least one more chapter ahead, that I am sure of.
⚖️ 175.7(-0.6) ❤️63(60-102) 👣 3,035/1.4mi(🧘♂️ 🏋️♂️ 🏃♂️)