Perhaps the clearest indication that I am losing touch with reality comes from only realizing that I have been writing the month as "05" for the past month. For most if not all of April. That's a clear notch above "asks what day it is" on the dementia checklist. I departed Jikoji this morning at 7 AM, taking Tom Tolan to the airport before returning home. It felt good to be home, and it felt good to have been at Jikoji too. I hope to make it a more consistent place to be. When the bugs leave, and the weeds die off. I had a fresh cup of coffee and went about the day. Both dogs had been scheduled for the groomers at the same time. Concurring appointments. Jen came with me to help wrangle them into position and would return with me in two or three hours. "Summer buzz, head-to-tail, both dogs" was my direction. About two hours in, as we were waiting for the call, one came, but not the one expected. Scottie was having a bit of a breakdown, showing all sorts of "panic attack" level behavior. They said they would give him a break and try to resume, but if that fails, we will have to pick him up unfinished, which means he is half-done with the haircut. I felt bad thinking he had a harder time with it than expected. He's always been like this, only it has worsened and, in part, been enabled. Going back to his adoption photo, he's had issues. He's known trauma. He's seen some ugly shit go down, man. We got the "come get your dog" call about 10 minutes later. They were pretty kind about it. When I walked in after dropping Jen at the door, I found her holding him, and he seemed calm yet agitated. Jen had just gotten word earlier of a friend's having had their pair of aged and suffering dogs down, so the thought of her pup-pup coding on the table of grooming station #4 was all the more dramatic. He was fine, but he was also a lion. It appears the routine for the cut is to shave the body, tail and torso first, then the legs, and then the neck and head. Scottie's episode occurred between legs 3 and 4. We picked up a half-shaven dog with the full mane of a lion and one partially trimmed front leg. Lucky was entirely done, thankfully. Jen has often proposed this specific "lion" cut, wanting exactly what we picked up today without asking for it. I cleaned up the unfinished leg but agreed to leave the rest. Although I also ordered a grooming harness. I don't foresee another groomer attempt with him again. It's time I learn the art of the home-cut. I already do it for myself. I re-read chapter one back home, and the most inspirational thing happened. That moment of beginning to refine and improve came from all of the thoughts and visions coming into alignment on the page. I started to, metaphorically speaking, walk around and examine a work of art forming on the canvas as it comes together through brush strokes over an initial artistic pencil sketch. I see it taking the form I wanted it to hold. I will be working on it further after Jeri's visit this weekend. GNO was at the Yardhouse. It's not my favorite place, but it worked well enough. It's loud and there are TVs everywhere. I hate TVs in restaurants. Brian and Johnathan had good ideas about my Zen Center network issues, and the conversations were entertaining and informative. I walked away with a few things I went to look into or act on. This was an eventful day. Much of this journaling effort originated around Ryan's referring to a gratitude journal in 2018. My earlier daily entries called for noting one specific gratitude each day. From then until now, I have organically dropped the template-based approach for a broader scope of merging moments and meanings. I have a lot to be grateful for. More than one thing a day, for certain.
