As I started writing, I realized today is 2/5 (and yes, it's also 2/5/25) and that I failed to note last month on 1/5 that it was my father's birthday. Or it would have been. Which is correct? Both, I suppose. It also makes me reflect on how my parenting has been intensely and intimately defined and informed by his having passed away before I came to a point of maturity to fully embrace how substantial of an influence he was on who I am. He never got to see it, yet I keep that in mind. I hope that in time, my kids, who think to recognize that I love them, might someday hold their mom in a positive light. It's a balancing act at times to have a space of honesty and integrity while their truths, along with my own, are conflicting. As I work on the book and revisit past communications, I see as much disillusion in her of me as I and they do of her. Only with her, the exchanges were never as balanced as they might have been had she lived long enough to step (or grow) out of the parent-child dynamic. More on that to come. Howes, your coffee was excellent. It's been a valuable opportunity to get a morning walk-in and maintain, if not build, a solid friendship. We are indeed the old men who swap stories and lament about the state of the world. While also reinforcing a mutually shared view that, nod to Marlin, every day is a gift. My call with Katie went well, and immediately after, I started plowing through accounts to update payment options and sending updates to everyone. Cliff and I brainstormed a few ideas, and I will likely meet up with him next week to collaborate face-to-face. I got some stuff cleaned out of my mom's garage and will return tomorrow to continue the efforts. The environment must provide a safe space to move around. Jen made some excellent food at home, yet she sliced her finger. Nothing "stitch" worthy, but it'll be a few days before she's playing the piano again.:-). I also started the process to get Mom on Medi-Cal so she will have more coverage options, and I may be able to get paid as a caregiver, but very little. I did some reading and will continue tomorrow about "instinct", a topic of great interest.
