I have been feeling very irritable lately. More than I usually do, yet not more than some might attribute to me as routine. In ways, I am starting to understand something I've commented on before. People see me differently than I do. Which of us is right? My inner voice assures me, in no uncertain terms, that I am more aware of my best intentions than anyone else could possibly be. Therefore, they simply have a twisted and distorted view of my character. Yet, if more than one person observes an edge to my tone or a self-serving aspect to my seemingly selfless actions, who is perhaps unable to see the whole picture from inside the frame? Ultimately, we're both right. And we're both guilty of the same judgment infraction.
I found myself building resentment for the volume of asks of me recently, even though I willingly took on the role and responsibility to provide answers. Why am I somehow surprised? It's no more uncommon than any other instance of my life and role as a son, a father, a husband, a dog owner, and a board member. It's all self-inflicted, as is the short-sighted decision to somehow see the work as a burden when the sacrifice returns the richest rewards. My path to this point may be looked back on as the hard times or perhaps the better ones. The goal should be neither of those as an outcome but simply the achievement of reaching that moment and having that insight. Isn't it amazing how wide-ranging one's emotions can be? Some heighten as the opposites, either good or bad, diminish. The trick is to recognize their duality.