A few days have passed since my last journal entry. I've been irritable for no particular reason other than wanting a break from self-imposed demands and obligations. I have a strong desire to detach from the world and may do that by retreating to Jikoji for a mid-week stay after we return from Paso and before Jen goes to Portland. My mood may stem from focusing aggressively on the book or screenplay. I'm not sure yet which approach to take. I firmly believe a screenplay can focus a reader's attention on the story and the experience, at least more so than authoring and sustaining an engaging long-form narrative. John and Cheryl stopped by to visit, and John asked me, "Why write?" I was surprised to be asked this, as it seems so apparent. It's a feeling of destiny and obligation, like a calling. I have wanted to for decades, and the past few years of experience have given me the vehicle to do so. What else over the past few days? We saw "Becoming Led Zeppelin with Mark M. (excellent insights but too many full-length performance clips IMHO). Mom's latest bloodwork is great, and her 2nd treatment was today. Now, a four-week break. I met with Frank, contacted Carol (Santa Cruz Death Cafe) about working together, and attended an introductory meeting with EOLCC volunteers. I was going to head to Stanford for the next PSHC classes (MDMA & PTSD) but decided to stay home. The rains have been absurd today - downpours - I had to run out and clear downspouts twice. I'm pleased that the bunged tarp seems to have stayed in place even with the winds. Driving in the rain to the SSA (which now requires appointments) was enough. I opted to skip going to PA and back. Jen made a nice chicken/bacon dish, and we discussed the kitchen layout and next steps. I also learned this week that the AML my mom has is genetic, and I, too, may have it. I'll get tested ASAP; if so, I'll watch it closely. It may be 'the thing that takes me out’ in time, but I'd like to avoid rushing that. I'm so enjoying this life.
