Highlights: "Christmas Eve Eve "seems to be "trending," whatever that means or whatever that matters. I made the most of the day before the day before "the day". The salvageable discarded decaf beans were retrieved, washed and set out to air-dry. In a follow-up conversation about Lucky ripping into and strewing the beans all about the kitchen, I realized that they'd be perfect for the initial trial-and-error steps of the first few roasts. They're pretty much experimental and will be tossed. The dog sorta did me a favor, that is, if I squint and cock my head just right and cut him a generous helping of slack. The granola gift from John/Cathy Schwarz, with heavy cream, was worthy of a 'thank you' text to them. I also had a brief text exchange with Dan Wolfe. I took the opportunity to express gratitude for years of shared experiences and memories at Apple and as his roommate, a time I have not dwelled on much but greatly appreciate. My short-sighted decision to go to Costco at 9.15 at the start of a holiday week turned into a reminder that I need to get my "decision-vision" checked. This prescription ain't working. Although it took quite a while and an attentive eye to possible departures, I was fortunate enough to secure a decent parking spot. I was fortunate to have only one person in the returns line ahead of me. I easily returned several unopened bags of holiday chocolates purchased but not needed for gift bags). Having to get cream and already being there, I snagged some croissants for Christmas brunch and two bottles of their most excellent spiked egg nog. I caved to the impulse. I fucking love that stuff, even though it clearly has issues with me. Fate intervened in the manner of a line running 2/3 of the warehouse length, which made me think the self-checkout would be wise. It was, but they don't let you get alcohol through it. The egg nog was abandoned for the sake of time and simplicity. I had to get on the road and pick up Lauren at the Santa Clara Transit. She and I immediately went on a scavenger hunt in search of our routine holiday egg-nog moment, but this time, both regular and spiked! Welcome to the legal drinking age, Annual Tradition. Go ahead and card her,' I dare you. It took multiple stops, but we were successful. Scottie has made a habit of late to greet us as the garage deer opens. He approached me slowly without seeing Lauren at first. When he saw her, though, he was so happy and excited, as was Lucky. It was a joyous moment to witness. Tommy passed and received his national phlebotomy technician certification after a crash course over the past few weeks. After a quick egg nog tasting with Jen and Lauren, Lauren and I met Tommy at LG Cafe for lunch. It, too, was packed but worth the short wait. The "Iron Skillet"/"Los Gatos Cafe" combo is a tradition and a landmark location in my life, echoing back to my early 20s and throughout theirs as well. Lauren and I picked up a Poinsettia and took it to Madronia to set on Linda's grave, reflecting on her affection for the season and a few landmark moments. It's still hard to recall the efforts to bring a holiday vibe into her life at SRC in that final year. Not knowing if it's fully experienced or appreciated is reason enough to do all you can, in case it is. And I still do. In the evening, L, J and I drove with Lucky and Scottie through Willow Glen. We steered (literally) clear of the more congested areas and hit some outskirts with great results. Lauren and I went on a subsequent mountain drive since it was the one night we had open to do so. Upon returning, Jen expressed having hoped we'd stopped at In n Out. We had not, but WTF, we went for a 10 PM burger run to close out the day.
Insights: Lauren's reference and reinforcement of how she loves the family we have was validating. It's not the first time it has been stated. Just the latest. And since mid-November, there's been a lot of self-discovery going on. It means so much to hear this from either of them. Every time. It reminds me of how such a difficult decision over a decade ago, and with all of the reasons it could have gone otherwise, was the right choice in the long run. And it was difficult, indeed. Unnecessarily. This is another reminder: I am a good person, just too insecure to recognize it as my default baseline consciously. I guess I have more work to do. Good. I'm not ready to retire from learning and evolving just yet.
