Mindset: Not good. Angry. Bitter. Resentful. Why? Perhaps it was how Jennifer's frustrations with "locking doors at night" boiled over in conversation last night. Dealing with Tommy's ODD landmines also makes for an unpleasant home. I must admit to being an equal contributor to frustration and tension when the simplest thing such as the dog wanting up or my need to manage his safety in order to just refill my coffee illicites signs and grumbles of inconvenience on my part. I also feel like I am doing nothing of substance surrounding my need to gain traction on starting a business. The sense of failure is self inflicted - not doing anything is failing at the outset. I know this yet I also have low/no confidence at the moment. Well, not "no" but I am too quick to disness all I have been doing and involved in.
Goals: Be more present and proud of the last year, the Death Cafe's, volunteering, the zen work and board position-the time and effort going into my mom's needs. There is really a lot going on. Own that and do not discount it.
Anticipation: Coffee with Bonnie. I don't know what to expect. It will interesting.
Wants: To be comfortable with any situation and not let the opinion or feelings of others prevent me from being authentic and honest.
