"Nightdogs @ the Caspers"
Yesterday drained me, so I hope to use today to recover emotionally from what ended up being a challenging set of encounters. Caspers with Jen, Matt, and Laura was a wonderful and rewarding outing. Although far less significant in my life's history, It certainly played a role in my friendship with Matt for the short time I was visiting Sacramento. It's also an iconic building with a wonderful neon sign that feels like a moment frozen in time. Yesterday was its final day before closing. Because we each had other plans for the afternoon, we met a bit before 11am, and the line was minimal. The dogs were excellent- on par with Mark's in San Jose or Happy Hand in LG. We talked and ate and lingered for over an hour, and when we left, the line was going along the side of the building. It was a worthwhile pilgrimage. The second half of the day took a negative turn when Tomy and I locked horns over the disposition of his airsoft rifle and gun. It's unnecessary to dissect things here, but we were both quickly triggered (pun intended) by some assumptions of meaning and intention. I did well at first, keeping from reacting to an aggressive and confrontational response, but his persistence was me down to the point of walking out. It was resolved a bit later, and I recognize now that my initial rigidity can be unwarranted, while his full-blown verbally offensive attacks are never justified. It's been a while since we've had such an encounter. We've come a long way; a stumble does not undo success. It's just a growing pain. Yet it did emotionally derail me and set a tone for the evening that impacted my enjoyment of a dinner out with friends. I was less engaged than usual and perhaps even less patient in a few ways. My head was elsewhere and has been ever before that night. I feel a need for some focused time completing the 21st Birthday book and working on my own book, without continuing to allow lesser-priority needs or the pompous comments, directions and presumptions of others to impact my self confidence and belief that I can and will complete this to my own satisfaction. Opinions are like assholes, right?