Morning Mindset: Secular Skepticism. I'll write more about that separately. The combination of software updates and pairing Tommy's watch to my account seems to have locked my AppleID as a "security measure". Gee. Thanks. It's got me questioning the value of technology again. Convenience vs time spent maintaining and managing. I'm sure I'll work it out this afternoon. The drive to pick up my mom by 7:30 was painfully reminiscent of the daily commute I dealt with for years. 85 was a parking lot, and I felt a surge of anger and resentment at myself for not having anticipated it. As if I should have any more than I already had. As if being 5 min late would reflect poorly on my character and capabilities. The internal conflict and judgment I put myself through are insanity. It's absurd. I was pleased to be aware of and able to 'run ahead' of a level of internalizing this further. That was rewarding. Even as I was driving her from her home back to the cancer center within 2 minutes of my home, the recognition of the reality of her circumstances overshadowed my frustration at the inconsequential issue with what amounted to maybe 10 min of delay. Once at the building, her lab work was done promptly, and we now have a 90-minute wait before the next appointment. I thought breakfast would be nice. She's never been to LGCafe, but she prefers not to walk about any more than necessary due to pain and sleep deprivation.
Goals: I will maintain awareness of the gift of being of service to my parents while releasing expectations of anything other than what it is.
Anticipation: More reading and podcasts this afternoon.
Wants: To crest the apex between my intention and action.
