I'm exhausted. I was up late and throughout the night, sporadically, as it can happen. It got me thinking about the nature of our circadian rhythm and how misaligned it must be with our cultural and societal habits. Especially when you factor in screens and FOMO, it's a bit of a clusterfuck, wouldn't you say? I also wonder what evolutionary impact it might have over time. How will we physically adapt to this relatively new way of "being"? If you can even call it that. I think it's more of a way of consuming and stimulating. It might have played into my sleep issues, come to think of it. The weekly Jakoji planning meeting was today. There is a "design by committee" aspect to the way things evolve that can draw out. I may propose that a smaller committee be defined. The lunch with Martin was pleasant, as always. It turns out his treatments are at the same facility as my mom's. It's a surprise we have not run into each other yet. Yet. After leaving and debating turning left to my mom's and right to home for a short wait, the decision came in the form of a phone call from her. She had a very difficult night and was massively fatigued. Unable to stand or walk without feeling light-headed. I called Stanford on the way there and got directions to try to get her into the scheduled appointment, where a scheduled transfusion would likely help with the symptoms. Or call an ambulance to get her to an ER. She felt she could make it to the car. I stood by, ready to assist along the way, including supporting as needed. She made it, and traffic was surprisingly light at 2.45. Once there, she was checked in and taken back for the transfusion process, so I ran home briefly to get a bit, see Jen and return. While at home, I got a call from the nurse saying she was getting started and it would be about 3 hours! Whoa. That was unexpected, but I guess it's typical. I stayed at Pano and returned around 6 pm. Tommy had gone over after work to see how she was doing. It turns out that the combination of the chemo, a double dose, dehydration and sleep deprivation, combined with her very low blood pressure, all had her on the edge of hypotension. Her BP was 94/32. She was at high risk for passing out, which could cause all sorts of trauma and damage, given her age. We were in good hands there; they got her transfusion, hydration, and BP back to 110/48, which is 'stable' for her. We also came to realize she's been taking BP meds for years, which was likely another factor in the issues. I'm staying at her house in my old bedroom tonight to be on hand in case of issues, but I expect nothing but a good, restful sleep for both of us. Oh, and today, while
sharing the backstory of the background of a Sangha member's zoom setting in the morning meeting, I learned that the artist Georges Seurat died within a week of contracting diphtheria at the age of 31. Seeing "The Bathers at Asnieres" in London decades ago was one of the greatest milestones of my life experience. It moved me and still does to this day, especially having sat and studied the textures and strokes in person. To realize that he died at 1/2 the age I am now makes me long to accomplish something of lasting substance while I'm here.
