Morning Mindset: Oddly near tears of joy and sorrow. Why? Because this is all so overwhelming. Not necessarily in a negative way, though. I'm at Stanford with my mom and Tommy. She's here for 4th infusion treatment since the South Bay location is not staffed on Sunday. What's so overwhelming is the history here with the Kids and Linda - it's part of the Children's hospital complex we'd taken Lauren to for one or many reasons. It's so familiar - i remember all the subtleties, the parking, the trains, the lobby. And Tommy drove us here. He works here. He walked me about like I would and did at Apple. And this is the same place he came with us in his childhood. It's poetic. How cyclical and overlapping it all seems, like waves arriving and retreating in unison. I'm also moved by the level of complexity, failure and success that exists in man's efforts to manage the chaos of nature. Biology. Illness. Down to such intricacies with so many variables and just as many consequences. Good and bad. I seldom step back and try to comprehend it all.
Goals: see to it she is comfortable. Chase down next steps in advance.
Anticipation: seeing Lauren.
Wants: This intense awareness of life is wonderful at times but as indicated, can be a lot, too.
