I enjoyed the "Zazenkai" a great deal. Doug was the instructor. Marc was the host in the main building. There were about 20 people, and it was a pleasant experience to sit at a table for a meal, do dishes, and talk with strangers. The nice aspect was their being in the same mindset as my own. I was seeking the same opportunity for reflection, enlightenment and awareness.
I want to spend more time focused on what I'm going to do next. Stoicism, Zen and end-of life-planning seem like the perfect combination. It would allow me to learn, grow and bring a philosophical perspective to conversations with people putting their affairs in order so they can face the inevitable without the greater dread beyond the disappointment that the end is here.
In one of our conversations, a thought came to mind. "In the end… there's an end". Another thing I want to stay mindful of is to stop living focused on writing and documenting my experiences and be 100% present in the experience instead. Leaving my watch at home and my phone in the car prohibited me from, for example, stopping to take a photo of a massive tree with a completely broken limb from the recent storm and instead, taking it in as a metaphor for life, transition, death and decay … the 'cycle of life' that is the organic nature of a tree, us, our planet, everything.
I want to apply a discipline I read about where one doesn't take photos of somewhere they're visiting for at least 15 minutes, forcing them to take it all in instead. To be there, to experience it thoroughly, and to not miss out by preparing to share having been there on social media or to look back at having been there months later. I don't have photos of so many moments in my life that I have the best memories of.
My last observation is how hard it was to remain present in continuous silent mediation sittings for so long. I could not stop my mind from thinking about so many other things. I realized I am routinely planning what I will do with my time instead of simply enjoying that slice of time itself. Even if it's just pure silence. It's difficult to not entertain or indulge every thought. It's why they call this mediation a "practice". It's what it takes. And it takes a lot of it. Perhaps more in our highly distracted world today than ever before.
"Fear of missing out" should not be about social media, it should be about what social media and our distraction culture are diverting precious time and attention from instead.