It’s Saturday morning. I woke early. VERY early. “4.15 AM” early, as evidenced by my prior post about being unable to sleep. It’s 6.30 AM now, and I’ve used the past 2 hours to focus on focus. To Prioritize priorities. To refine my efforts to work towards a simple, rewarding existence. And, of course, as I was preparing coffee this morning, I realized that the 2 cups at 10 PM last night might have played a role in my insomnia. Facepalm, indeed. It’s raining, and the house is otherwise silent while the skylight subtly alters and amplifies the pattern of drops landing on the roof. At the same time, a moderate wind occasionally spins a partially opened table umbrella on the patio like a carousel. Although I’m slightly concerned that the wind might cause the umbrella to topple, taking the table with it, I’m going to wait it out inside. This is a wonderful moment to be present. The Christmas tree is on, as are the Tiffany lamps, all courtesy of HomeKit automation. I’m in a space here that’s as comfortable as possible. Like a vacation home might feel. With the exception of the missing bench seat running along the windows where I might find myself even more immersed in the sounds of the weather as what I expect to be a subdued sunrise begins. Yesterday was a good day. I worked hard, and I played hard. My workday was slightly fragmented due to a counseling appointment, a grocery store run, and going to pick up Tommy’s Porsche. The appointment was good. I’m nervously optimistic that improvements are being made, and I’m working in the right direction as I strive to remove myself from decades of constant stress and anxiety. Getting Tommy’s car was an interesting experience. It’s challenging to have a stranger tell me I need to talk to my son about something, anything, when my son doesn’t want to hear anything I say about his obsessions and compulsions. They’re preaching to a choir that’s singing to a deaf audience. And, of course, any attempt I make to discuss the noise, speed, neighbors, and safety is fueling his defiance and resistance. My worst fear is that he hurts himself or somebody else – outcomes that will leave scars that last a lifetime. Meanwhile, clear across the state in Sacramento, Lauren’s teal blue Mini Cooper convertible was finally towed to a repair shop where the issue appears to be as simple as a key fob needing a new battery. That’s not the final outcome but that’s the indication at this point. More to come when more is known. Jennifer enjoyed the afternoon and evening, making “Mexican Stew” for today’s coat drive and, as evidenced by the scattered sealed and addressed envelopes on the coffee table, writing and preparing a batch of Christmas cards to send. I’ve not sent Christmas cards for years. It feels like a legacy behavior based on decade-old practices in an era without the level of instant access and communication we have today. So you’d think I’d be more into it. I eschewed it yesterday as an obsolete act, yet I’m warming back up to the idea. Assuming it’s recognized as a sincere and non-obligatory act to send a simple warm holiday greeting, it’s got a massive return for a minor investment. I recall when people tracked the sent and received status of cards which in turn informed the following year’s distribution. Bob and Mary haven’t sent us a card for two years, so we stop? Seriously? Last night was my annual holiday dinner outing with Jess, Brian and Jonathan. I’d thought it was Thursday, and it was initially going to be elsewhere, but it all came together last night at Dry Creek Grill and was excellent. The more time I spend with friends, the more I want to spend time with friends. Rather cool how that works out. And as JS said on the way home, the friendships we have come naturally, yes, but still require work. It takes time and effort to maintain this engagement, and in particular, the example we’ve set over all these years is the basis for what I hope to foster going forward with more breadth and frequency. I want to start scheduling more things in advance and in intervals. It’s on my list of tasks heading into 2023.
Anticipation: Dom and Mary’s Coat Drive, Mark and Wendy’s Holiday Open House.
Goals: Reduce caffeine to 1 cup a day.
Gratitudes: This home, this morning, the weather, the sense of connection. My friends, a good meal, and coming home to Jennifer and the dogs. Yes, plural. Dogs.
Oh, and today I learned the phrase “nothing's more permanent than a temporary solution"
