It's been several days of parallel highs and lows. Lauren's visit for Thanksgiving was great, and she/I got to spend a good deal of time running errands and tackling a slew of tasks on Friday. But Friday night went very south when trying to talk to Tommy about his car's volume, neighbor's complaints and some aggressive tensions building around the neighborhood about it got ugly. At first, I tried to voice concerns and point out that the neighbors were right to have issues – it's a loud car and disruptive. He was on complete defense, very belligerent and dismissive and harsh. Painfully harsh. I am worn down and said things I know upset him (about his mom, my mortality, and how I don't want this to be how my life is spent). He left upset, and I haven't recovered from the trauma yet. Jen and I drove Lauren to Sac on Saturday. I wanted to see if I could get her car working. I could not. I'm more convinced than before that it's the starter. We have a game plan to get it towed to a local place for repairs near her. We dropped her off and returned home. We took the dogs for the whole trip. They did pretty well. We want to do that more often and stop being tied to the house because of them. I felt bad about what I said to Tommy and texted a brief apology. I don't want to be the low bar in this mess. I wish he could have been a part of the trip, but I know from experience how annoyed he gets, how annoyed I get, and how we're unable to enjoy something without tension, rush, or impatience. This whole situation sucks and reached a breaking point. Today, after he felt he had a right to drive his car onto our lawn when I would not move mine on demand, I wrote his final warning. Clear, clean, simple – follow reasonable rules or move out. I'm not expecting this to end well. It's heartbreaking to be so at odds. I know what to do at this point beyond getting aggressively ready to likely throw him out for good. I know he may have options to stay at friends briefly but not permanently. He pressed the other day on if I wanted him in my life, and I had to say, "if this is who you're going to be with me, I don't". That's painful as a parent. I am filled with angst, remorse, loss, anger, disbelief, and incredulity that any of this is necessary. Yet it was predicted in year one when we started as adoring fans and local servants. Jen's past her point of tolerance too. We're too old to be abused. We should not have to worry about coming home to the same dark clouds of angst and discord that we each experienced in our respective marriages. And my willingness to 'turn the other cheek' is gone. The house rules are straightforward – be considerate, cleaned n, and respectful, that's pretty much it. And that seems unlikely, too. Anyway, enough venting; I feel like I can't stop because I'm in shock and trauma. But Jen and I have plans tonight to visit Filoli for their holiday season decor. I want to break from all this mess and enjoy something positive with her. She needs a reprieve too.