Autumn colors | Mulberry trimming underway
It's getting DAMMED COLD in the morning. Dog walks now require gloves, and I'm gradually accepting that taking both at once introduced complications related to intertwined leashes and coffee cup juggling between Jen and me. I've started to abandon the whole 'walk with Java' aspects of the journey. Lucky's still an enigma – it's hard to determine if he's got anxiety or just a simpleton who needs to run, chase, and sprint. I'm thinking the latter. My workday was good. It was another day that I stepped up and stayed focused and engaged. I punted on meeting RP for Coffee because I didn't feel up to the potential contention regarding work-related issues and just wanted to focus on clearing my backlog. And I honestly didn't want to be made to feel worse. It's good that I did, too, because Dr. Chin called unexpectedly, and I could take the call. I have been authorized to take an FMLA, and I'm wrestling with the decision. I'm anxious about what it might mean for 2023, but at the same time, it's a break I want and need for my mental health. I have pushed myself to a breaking point. I also got prescribed some meds that might help with the sleep, and of course, I'm wrestling with that too – side effects and dependencies always cause me concern. But at this point, daily meditations and (admittedly minimal) exercise aren't resulting in better sleep. And heck, at this point, I think I've developed a dependency on the "night sounds" feature of my HomePod mini. Coolest thing ever but not supported by shortcuts. Typical Apple. In any event, I do think the need to get more cardio and walking in would factor well for both my physical and mental health. Some colleagues have treadmills, and I've toyed with that idea, but I would much instead get out and walk. I also expect doing so would result in more attention and focus than standing at a screen with slack messages and other distractions vying for my attention. On a walk, I try to avoid getting hit by a car when crossing a street. Lauren didn't get her car checked today but will tomorrow. It's a 1st world problem, and there are solutions, so I'm not stressing about it. Neither is she. Tommy's working on his car again tonight. His grades are not looking good, and there's little time left for recovery, and nothing I say or do results in anything changing, so I'll let him carve his path. Perhaps when Vinny returns, there'll be more motivation. Jen's work situation remains uncertain, but all indications are she's lined up for redeployment. Between my taking some time off and her being redeployed, a lot may be changing for us in 2023. It's hard to know the right course of action, but it's not like the past year can be repeated. Accepting that we have to adapt to a change in income isn't appealing, but if 1/2 the pay resulted in 1/10th the stress, maybe it's worth it. I keep reflecting on a time management course she was taking earlier this week. The instructor reflected on recognizing 'work time' as the 'shift' and the off-hours work. The AM prep time, the PM catchup time, and the hour or so each day spent outside the working hours thinking about and trying to solve work issues. It's shocking to think that I likely spend a minimum of 12hrs "working" each day and that stress has taken my quality of life to a discouraging place. Oh, and I bought Jen a gift today. We, but mainly her – 1-year membership at Filoli, allow us each to bring one additional guest. I scheduled something for us the weekend after Thanksgiving to check out the estate in the evening and the holiday lights and decor. But mainly, knowing how she enjoys the natural beauty, it's something for her to have as an option to go with girlfriends. This also means we'll get to take in the spring seasons and, if we time it right, get the discounted admissions next year for the holiday events before the pass expires.