Sunday, August 07, 2022
Highlights: slept in a bit, being Sunday and all. Came close to smashing a vase against Tommy's face last night after taking crap and backtalk while trying my best to tolerate excessive dismissive and disparaging comments. I don't know what to do anymore. It's honestly a nightmare. Nobody in my life has ever treated me as awful as he does. How fucked up is that? But I want to strike out in retaliation, so I have no room to talk, and he could in return say the same about me. Anyway, Lauren went to the beach for the day with friends, and it brings back my own memories of doing the same. I'm so glad she's having these experiences. Jen and I went to my mom's to work on the hall wallpaper, but I petered out quickly. Too depressed. I wallowed at home a bit, listened to some Joe Jackson music after finishing the autobiography and accepted a spur-of-the-moment opportunity to go see Wendy and Mark. We walked. That rocked. Enjoyed the time and talking to Wendy about her father's passing. Deep stuff. Interesting too how it differs from my own experiences and from what I feel about Linda's passing. I guess each scenario is independent and individual. Paraphrasing Joe's comments in "A Cure For Gravity"…. everybody's priorities are different. Didn't say a word to Tommy today. I'm filled with anger so that's likely best. Anger and grief. They make for painful heartache.