Jen and I spent the entire day Friday working from Panorama. And loving it. It felt so good to be there. Oddly good, given the circumstances that have landed us there. We even talked about how odd it feels, but also how the energy is positive. The changes we've made and the efforts I have put into doing what I can to honor Linda's memory within the home for the kids and myself too all feel like they're settling into a healthy vibe. My counseling appointment was good. I walked away reminded that I need to recognize that Tommy is not capable at this point in his life of "forgiving me" for leaving and leaving him in a traumatic situation. Plain and simple, and agonizing to accept, but it's true. It doesn't mean however that I have to take abuse. It might be years if not decades before he's in a place to reconcile and recognize and fuck, I might be gone then. Just like my own father was for me. I don't wish that on anybody but it seems like it's a natural part of loss and life going on. We grow and learn more as we age. After work we had dinner with Jon and Cheryl, enjoyed a Wrath Pinot and a French Bordeaux and returned to show them the setup at Panorama. Oddly, something's either broken or "askew" with the turntable's cartridge that I need to revisit another time. Jen and I have lots of ideas of things we may try out but we also started realizing we have waaaaayyyyy too much stuff and we both want to really dramatically pair down. It's going to be a challenge. We got up early, got paint, and made dog food. But not with the paint. She went to meet her cousin at Panorama. She is taking the TV and the French dresser. She did just that. And Jen painted while I attended a 6hr meditation seminar with Big Heart City and Vinny Ferraro. It was useful. Very useful. Letting go of trying to control anything other than my reactions was my takeaway. I am going to modify my "atomic habits" to increase the time I spend reinforcing that. We got some "patio time" in before coming in to get ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be taking the kids to Madronia with LG Cafe food and flowers in the morning to visit their mom's gravesite. I have a hard time putting it that way because it's a reminder that she's really literally dead. That remains something I have yet to fully accept. Then Jen and Scottie and I will go "WFH" from a Paso Robles airBNB. The weather should be ideal, cool but not cold, and each day we will end early and go wine taste or do other fun stuff.