Interesting how a day's span can encompass a wide range of emotions. I started the day after a (finally) decent night's sleep feeling continued despair over, essentially, the loss of my son. The day continued with introspective reflection on my part, trying to piece together what possibly might justify his utter contempt for me. I wonder if it's Linda's friend Kathy continuing to echo the disregard she had for me as the person who left the marriage she knew complete well to be a farce and an unhappy one. I wonder if it's the anger he must carry at having been 'left to handle her despair,' something I never imagined would happen, but it did. And I thought too about how many more years I would spend in anguish over the discord that is predominantly his doing. That was a key observation. I've tried repeatedly to find some common ground and know he's done so on occasion. But I don't see myself ever being the one instigating the disrespect and negativity. That's his. He owns that. So I focused on managing Panorama tasks, setting up and setting out my "virtual garage sale," only to pull 90% of it after Cheryl came by and took most for the Cancer Society. Where it's so well suited. Given what happened to Linda (I still can not believe it), it's fitting that her 'junk' as it were… the piddly stuff, not the valuable stuff, goes to the Cancer Society store where volunteers will work to see it. The funds go towards Cancer research and funding instead of a week or two of numerous Craislists related management for what might amount to less than $100. Win-win IMHO. I had an overall decent day and feel more optimistic about the week ahead. Jeri's visit later this week will be so great. Things are all set up for her at Pano.