I'm hoping I can fully capture the day. Some are crammed with the widest array of experiences, thoughts, realizations, and funny moments, and by the time the day winds down, along with my doing the same in unison, I miss a lot of moments. Hopefully, I can recall them all. I woke early, of course, due to the time difference. But I slept well. Perhaps also because of the traveling. We left the door open all night, and it was comfortable. I got up and made myself some breakfast, and Tommy came with me to get coffee from the shop that opened at 6, right when we got there. He commented about my addiction and a habit, and I tried to share having listened to Michael Pollen's "Caffeine" book on the plain and wanting to cut back. Mistake. Sharing anything with him results in snark and putdowns. We were off to a bad start. The dynamic is absurd, and the only way out is to never go in in the first place. They gathered their stuff to go diving, and we headed out. When we arrived, we went through the drive-thru at 7 am, mind you, and they ordered chicken sandwiches. When they were told they only served breakfast, it was as if they were deers in headlights and Karl, in particular, just seized up as if he could not force a decision between the available options. I suggested we hit the Safeway right there for options, and we did. But of course, with more commentary. He so wears me down. It's overwhelming and can bring me to tears if I let it. I wanted to bail ongoing on the dive as a 'ride along' but went anyway, wanting to at least be witness to his outing and see their reactions to their findings. They said it would be windy and choppy, and it was absolutely that. I did my usual 'front of the boat' thing, which always makes me laugh with joy. I love that experience. But the choppy waters made for a rough right out. "Captain Matt" was a great guy, gave us lots of advice including where to go if you're gonna blow chunks, which came in handy later for one of the passengers. I stayed detached from Tommy as even looking at him while the instructor was giving them guidance was treated as an encroachment. I was pissed too that during safety points he we on his phone and not paying attention. I'd have called that out had I been giving instructions. They got to the first spot, a sunken WWII plane (fuel/pilot issues, not battle related) and down they went. When they returned there was stories of things seen including giant sea turtles, which I eventually did see several of including one right up close, fully sticking it's head out of the water. It was a wonderful moment. I fumbled to get my phone but didn't get a photo which is fine, i was happy to just experience it in the moment. Later I tried with another turtle but only got a photo of my thumb. The boat was tossing about excessively….and Tommy became a casualty to the nausea. I tried to help but gave him space. When the 2nd dive was ready they convinced him to go and that he'd feel better in the water than on the boat. Makes sense. He went. They saw reef stuff but about 2/3 of their time in I saw Tommy surface alone, then with his partner, who proceeded to assist Tommy to the boat. He was suffering. He had some 'sinus compression' or other issue, threw up under the water, and definitely needed to surface, but carefully. This was something that would have greatly upset his mom to witness but once he was at the rope I knew he'd be ok. He threw up more and eventually settled down, but the waters were really tossing things around and I was fighting to keep from succumbing to sea sickness myself. I managed to make it, barely. But I get a minor head wound . While trying to return one of hte tanks that slipped out of it's bungee cords, It smacked me in the head due to the boats movements and my own instability. Tommy at first wanted to cancel tomorrow's dive plans but with some help and reassurance from the other divers, and some game plans for the am (nausea meds 1hr before, eat 1hr before so there's time for full digestion, and knowing that tomorrow's dive will be in different conditions, he choose to keep it scheduled. Also because what he did see and did record was stunning and he knows he'll regret not going down the road. We returned so they could shower and clean up and I tired to get them to come out and walk around the area but he was in an annoyed and annoying mood and make more comments about anything I did or where we went that I just said "This will be our last vacation ever, so can we just enjoy it?". As he told me last month, "this doesn't work, we don't work" and as he made clear a little while back, he doesn't even like me. So what's left? I read something recently that struck a chord – you choose your friends but you can't choose your family. That's deep and insightful. He and Karl walked away at one point at Tommy's initiation. Karl just follows and goes along. I retuned to the hotel, took the car and drove to and around the point of Diamond Head. On the way there a small pigeon flew in front of but not past the cars windshield. I hit it. Feathers flew. Ugh. The neighborhood past there is amazing, it's like the "Carmel" or "Woodside" of Oahu. There's some seriously incredible homes out there. I decided, after my meandering drive, to return to the hotel and just enjoy a glass of wine at the hotel bar overlooking the harbor. I got there about 4pm. While there i was half-listening to a group of 3 strangers at the bar talking about divorce, child raising and teens, being single and sharing stories. I wanted to interject some of my own thoughts and ask questions about experiences I overheard but I didn't want to start something I didn't have time to finish. And I felt a pang of sadness in the seeming nature of strangers in a bar alleviating pain an loneliness with liquor and one-sided-perspectives. Yet at the same time I also thought how enjoyable they all seemed, how I wanted to join in, and how I was there alone with a glass of house red (Prophecy Cabernet) trying to set aside frustrations of the day with a drink. Judge not, lest thee be judged, I guess. I went to the room and they were sleeping so I gathered my things and told Tommy I was going to drive to the west side and see the sunset. He said they were tired and I said "OK" and left it at that. I drove to the Four Seasons and this very high end stretch of a modern resort village "Ko Olin's". What a difference from Waikiki. So clean, nice restaurants, walking trails and calm quiet respectfully dignified people. THIS is a place I could spend a week but likely outside of my budget. I watched the sunset and returned to the hotel to find the boys lounging about. I cleaned up some clutter (fuck, they're such pigs) and decided I'd take my keyboard and go write in the atrium by the restaurant I was at earlier. On the way there I noticed the glass elevator a woman had asked about previously and that i had no idea existed until that moment. But there it was, in the center of the building. It leads to "Pesca" restaurant, which I found to be on the 30th floor. The view from the ride was cool, being nighttime there were lots of city lights to see. The doors opened and there was an awesome Jazz band playing, but wickedly loud. There was a special event going on. As I talked to her I learned she was from SF and we talked a bit about the city having changed so much. I passed on the opportunity to hang at the bar because the music was so loud and the event was a bit chaotic, and I also didn't want to have another glass of wine just for the sake of having another glass of wine., as I try to avoid "self medicating" and drinking just for the sake of drinking. I'm a bit too strict about this. But I did review the menu and made reservations for Saturday night. Considering that Eric gave Karl $$$ to treat us to a nice dinner, and this is that and would be a place Eric would champion, I thought it was perfect. When I came down from the restaurant to sit and write… the three people were STILL in the bar, still talking and laughing, and they ended up closing it, staggering out together in unison. It was actually sweet and heart warming. They connected through shared experiences in a way that likely gave them a sense of validation and recognition. Who doesn't want that?
