I'm expecting this to be the last post during the Hawaii vacation. I don't expect to have anything significant to capture tomorrow. I feel a need to focus on returning to some established habits and routines Monday morning while also leaving some bad routines and dynamic behind, once and for likely five or more years. I'll likely write about it another time, elsewhere, but I am proud to have done my best to ride out the week with a focus on the only vacation we'll take together and making it as memorable as possible. Sleep was dicey but decent and I awoke early again yet still lingered longer than I should. Adjusting back to PST will be a challenge. We managed to get up and out and to Dukes for breakfast and it was great. We got moved to a premium location thanks to Tommy's asking to be moved which I appreciate with trepidation. As mentioned here before. This was good, though, and worked to our benefit even though his attitude IMO was a bit smart ass to the host seating us ("sorry to inconvenience you" being one of the muttered comments.) It breaks my heart that this is how feels he can get ahead in life. But, breakfast was great and we enjoyed the view and location. We then drove to the Pearl Harbor historical site. I thought it'd be more impactful to him given his interest in this topic but it seemed to be a 'meh' at this point and time. OK. We drove then over to the North side stopping at Green World Coffee and Dole. I liked and bought some beans at Green World but Dole is such a complete tourist trap I could not leave quickly enough. We made it all the way to Turtle Bay, stopping at one point to explore the Banzai Pipeline section of the beach, and checked out the resort before heading back south, just enjoying the ocean drive and views until we made it to the Four Seasons in Ko Latino. All along the way, at Green World, Dole, Turtle Bay, the Four Seasons, he just kept wanting to push limits and play games and even steal coffee or a lighter. More anger and sadness to deal with. We returned to the hotel or rest and shower and then went to dinner. The dinner was absolutely phenomenal and one of the best meals I can recall having. The calamari and cauliflower were perfect and all three dishes were delicious, his "surf and turf" being the best of the lot. Still there were continued shenagians and disrespectful comments and actions. I won't go into more details here but it was just not the example I ever feel I set or was his modeling from either parent. Carl's actually a far better example now than Tommy and as I recall it was once the other way around. Whatever the case, we're back at the hotel and tomorrow's only plans are to check out by 10am and head to the airport for our return flight home. I can't wait. I am glad I saw this through, in that i do want to have some reliability, but I think I have also come to some stark and painful realizations about what I can expect and what I'll even allow myself to be setup for. Maybe in 5 years there'll be some maturity. Maybe in 5 years there'll be more perspective as to the loss of a parent and the alleged grief and remorse over treating her like shit while it continues daily with me throughout it all. Maybe in 5 years, I'll just be another historical regret, too.
