Smash n Grab at Philz. Fucking scumbags. Inexcusable.
I'm finally carving out a slice of time to reflect on the past few days. Although nothing technically "significant" took me off the daily journal path, plenty of things made me tired enough to just not put the time in. Sosumi. I walked this am with Lauren since I had to not go on Monday. Monday AM was the AtticElite visit to clean out the entire attic and replace it with top-tier insulation. One of three 'blocker' milestones are now behind us as far as getting the house back into an inhabitable state, the crawlspace moisture barrier, and the "big rock" task to remodel the kitchen are next. It's going to be a few months still, and that's fine; we need to get it right as we won't be doing it again.
I made a decision today after a great deal of in-depth deliberation and direct discussion with the CEO and CFO at work to turn down an offer elsewhere and lock into care2 for the next year or two as we work, hopefully, closer and more collaboratively, to hit some goals and reach a point of liquidity. It was a tough decision to make, given the years of uncertainty, anxiety and frustration I've experienced. Still, the recent change and expansion of my role and the competitive retention play have made it easier to remain in place and put the effort I'd have otherwise have wrestled with towards ramping up in a new position to make things work more effectively and successfully where I am. If things go well, the rewards would be substantial. It's gratifying to have had gone through 6 interviews with seven people and be offered a position. But right now, the year ahead is one that I am not looking to complicate with something as demanding as a new role in a new company would require. Marya was graceful and perhaps grateful too that she'd not have to hear me complain if I didn't like it :-). But yeah, a gratitude dinner with the Gomez clan is on the horizon. Tommy and I visited Linda, and in parallel, Kathy and I had a call with Dr. Silva. Her condition is a definite downward change and consistent. It's getting harder to get any connection or response, but almost once per visit, something gets said, one word like 'yes,' out of numerous attempts. It's getting more emotionally grueling to witness what I can only refer to as her disappearance. When I take this whole experience at 'face value,' it's a sad ending to a life, but when I put what I know about her, our history, her own, and her fears and anxieties, it's brutally tragic and unfair. While on another related note, Jen's son is SJ bound, as I type. His father has abused and belittled him to the point that he's coming to get some distance. It's a sad pattern that indicates a family with narcissistic entitlement issues that are at least being shut down by one of his kids. I'm happy that we have the opportunity to let him stay at Panorama for a few days while he figures out his next steps. Brenda Chastine texted Linda after the winter ball and I responded from her phone and shared the news with her tonight. There's likely a lot of that to come. Jen and I met Mark and his General Contractor friend Randy to talk about the kitchen tonight. Good guy, knowledgeable and experienced. We still have homework to do and decisions about what routes we take to get this done and possibly financed, but at a minimum I feel good about his role in demolition remodeling needs. Had a great catch-up text exchange with Mary H. Sunday night. I'd not heard from her for a while and it was good to connect. I want to maintain and build more genuine honest connections for whatever time remains. Especially as I age and start to witness more decline and loss amongst these treasured few. I'm grateful to have a job working with a team I've worked with for 10+ years now in many cases. They're like family to me. I maintain a professional distance but I really do appreciate them all in that way.
Health: Weight: 158.2 (0) 7d avg: 158.8 (-0.26) | Steps: 7186 | Heart Rate: 60
Actions: Mediation Presence Gratitude Calm Action Friendship Family
Actions: Mediation Presence Gratitude Calm Action Friendship Family