Sunday, January 09, 2022
Not one of my finest days today. A buildup of pressure, the weight of being at Panorama cleaning and clearing and reliving levels of overwhelm, mixed with technical glitches and frustrations, put me into a panic attack. I ended up slamming my phone down, and yeah, the screen didn't crack. It just doesn't come on at all. And nothing adds to my sense of overwhelm other than the stress-induced self-inflicted wound that causes me to spend the rest of my day managing all of the ripple effects of having said technology and all of its dependencies cause endless reverberating frustrations. My own doing, quickly admitted, and I'm still kicking myself for getting sidelined. I have been doing so well, but this just was a perfect storm. And ultimately, there's something to learn, or perhaps remember, as being present and conscious of the bigger picture, that the little shit doesn't warrant the attention I might give it. It's also got me rethinking some recent obsessions and immersions that might be taking my attention away from more significant priorities. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. Focus is critical this year if goals are to be achieved, including living a fuller life and letting go of the transitional interests. Enough said for now.